He didn’t know why he was in Canada, especially not in the brutal cold of January. He didn’t know why he came or what expected to happen. The family he was looking for had lived in the same house for 23 years. A home that no one even knew, he knew. A home he had visited often over the years but not recently enough for his liking. It had been five years too long.
He found himself on the plane after most of what he knew had fallen apart. Him and the group had been on a whirlwind press tour, when his girlfriend of forever, the most stable one he’d had, left. She didn’t want to be without him, she wouldn’t go with him, and she didn’t trust him on his own. His band mate and brother had succumbed to his fight with the devil again, and was back seeking help. He would never begrudge him the help, he knew that vice all too well. It was just not the perfect time for him, selfish, self-centered, him. He needed people surrounding him, not everyone taking a break. He knew he needed the break before what was to come; he just didn’t want to be alone. So here he was, driving through the familiar small town, in a rental car that certainly stuck out in the neighbourhood.
He drove down the familiar street and made a turn he had often, to find the house he knew, empty. The drive way was unplowed, the porch un-kept, peering in the window, he found the house empty. Getting back into the warmth of the car, he thought of what to do next. The only thing he wanted was to see her, them. Where were they? He never thought they would give up her childhood home, or leave the area they loved. He knew her mother was ill, but he was sure if anything had happened to her, someone would have told him. That couldn’t have been it. Now, more lost then ever, he thought of all he had lost. He had friends, were they close? Not really. He had family, they were estranged at best. The guys were all he had, and they had family and friends of their own. The one thing he relied on, knowing they were there, knowing he could make the trip and see them. They were gone. How did he find them?
He knew he had to try something. He hadn’t travelled this long to just give up. He wouldn’t be so lucky that her mother would have the same car it had been 5 years. The same license plate maybe, could he remember that, not likely. He did remember that it had a symbol of a local sports team. It was worth a shot. He tried driving down the road, to actually find the same car her mom had driven, with the local sports team license plate. Finding her had been a relief, but how did he just waltz in like nothing had happened, like he hadn’t missed 5 years of their lives, like they hadn’t lost their house.
Pulling in the driveway, he sat in the car for a minute, until he saw her mom walk outside with the dog. When she spotted his car she changed course and headed in his direction. He knew his thinking time was up then. He opened the car door and stepped out.
“Mom…”
“Nickolas…”
“I’ve missed you…”
“We’ve missed you…”
He couldn’t handle it anymore and broke down in tears. Finally seeing her and knowing that he was home and that things eventually would be okay, was overwhelming to him. He stood there, tears streaming down his face, when she waked to him and hugged him.
“Whatever it is Nickolas, everything will be okay. Come inside where it’s warm.”
Minutes later he sat on the couch, with the dogs in his lap drinking a warm cup of tea. He knew he had to try to explain why he was there. He desperately wanted to ask where she was, but was scared of the answer at the same time.
“You wanna talk about why you’re upset or why you’re here? Not that we mind, but it’s been awhile.”
“I had no where else to go. Lauren left, she refused to trust me and never wanted me to leave, A.J’s in rehab again, everyone else had families to go to and I just couldn’t be alone. I was scared to come because I figured you guys would be pissed, and I fucked up, but I have no where else“
“I’m glad you came home Nick, we’re always here. Are we pissed? Us, not so much, Adel, very much so, she will get over it though. “
“Thank you Mom. That’s why I came here, you’re more accepting than my own family.” Nick had called Adelia’s mother, mom since they were kids. There was really no question to it. She really was mom to him, his own mother was controlling and vindictive, where as Adelia’s mom was caring and kind, she was strong willed, she was everything you would expect of a mom. His own mom, was not so much, in fact the reason they even met was because his mom was having an affair with a Canadian man in the town and would bring him and his siblings on frequent trips to visit. If that wasn’t damaging in and of itself.
“I figured she would be pissed… I was stupid and I know this now, but you know me, when I get involved in things I go full force, whole hearted. I did that with Lauren and work and well, none of it really worked out well. Typical for me, I can never seem to win.”
“You know what Nick, you know the one thing that always works with Adelia, and no not chocolate. Just tell her the truth. It’ll help.”
“Yea, makes sense, but we also both know Adel, and she is likely to kick my ass before I get to say hello.”
“Also true, I guess you’re fucked.” I love mom, so straightforward.
“Where is she?” I wanted to know when I would run into her so I could be slightly prepared.
“She is in class now, she should be home sometime tonight. She doesn’t live here though, she has her own place.”
“Oh, that’s nice, does she live close?”
“Ya, she literally moved 5 minutes away. Do you want me to tell her to stop by?”
“I guess that would work.”
“I’ll text her and tell her to stop in, why don’t you go lay down for a bit? You look exhausted.”
“Ya I could use a nap for sure.”
Nick walked into the bedroom, mom led him to and laid down. He knew sleep wouldn’t come easily but it would give him time to come up with a strategy. He wanted her to be okay with him, he missed her desperately. If only he had done things differently.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I really do plan on finishing my other stories, however, the idea for this one hit me and I couldn't resist.
