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I could feel something hard under my face, my pillow didn’t feel like this, didn’t smell like this. No, Nick Carter, felt like this and smelt like this. Not that I had woken up laying on him before. I can safely assume though. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to give up the prime spot that I had. I didn’t want to have to pretend like it didn’t bother me that he was here, that I hadn’t missed him desperately, that I was the same person. So I lay there, I took shallow breaths and kept my eyes closed. I was busted though, when I heard his voice.

“Dells, you awake?”
“Yea, I’m awake.”
“Can you get up?’
“Yup, it’s physically possible.”
“Could you do it soon?”
“I suppose.”
“I have to pee.”
“I could move now.”
“That’d be good.”

This morning’s banter was similar to all other banter, it was nice to relish in the simplicity of it. Everything in my life got complicated when he left and never came back. I used to be able to call for help, or to vent. When he had time off, mom would let me travel to see him. Then there was nothing. I was expected to be an adult and do important things like graduate college, get a job, take care of myself. How could I do that when I was empty inside? A significant part of me just missing.

“What ya wanna do today?”
“Ummm, I’m actually kind of lame. I have to get some school work done.”
“Hey, that’s cool with me, I wanna take a look at lyrics I wrote and figure out if I can do anything with them.”
“Well, I don’t have to work to long, maybe we could hike in the snow after, movie, hot chocolate, low key. Then we could always raid mom’s for dinner.”
“You may have just described my perfect day.”
“Let’s get to it then.”

We headed into the kitchen for breakfast and coffee and after usual morning routines we got to work. About an hour into working I felt hands rubbing my shoulders. I was slightly freaked, forgetting that I was not alone, however, I quickly clued in.

“Dells… I’m bored. Can we go have fun now?” I was pretty sure I had done enough work that I wouldn’t be swamped later.

“Yea, we can go have fun.” We got all bundled in our sweaters, coats, boots and mittens. I have to say Nick looked really good in a toque.

We took the dog and trudge out through the snow, it was a beautiful sunny day, cold as hell, but nice enough to be outside. We took a thermos of hot chocolate and went out to the forest. We looked at all the tracks, threw snowballs at each other and watched the dog chase sticks in the snow.

“You cold yet?” Nick must have been able to tell I was cold, since I was shaking and my cheeks were rosy.

“Yea I am, wanna walk to the clearing and drink our hot chocolate?”

The clearing was just over half way back and would give me a chance to warm up a bit. We walked back and sat on some big rocks that were clear. Nick poured the hot chocolate and we cuddled up close to share the cup. Nick wrapped his free arm around me and rubbed my back to keep me warm. It was comforting if not a little arousing. I mean, we had been friends forever, but I was most definitely not immune to him.

“You ready to head back?”

“Yea, I want to get home, I’m freezing now.”

We walked back to the house, me freezing the whole way. When we got in I made more hot chocolate while Nick found something to watch. I changed my clothes again to get warm and laid on my bed waiting for a movie. Nick climbed on the bed beside me and started the movie. I was still absolutely shaking.

“C’mere, you need to get warm.” Nick opened his arms and I crawled over next to him to lay closer.

“No no, here.” He patted in between his legs. This got quite a laugh from me but I obliged anyways. I laid in between his legs with his arms and the blanket around me. This was definitely the way to get warm, and quick. I was used to being this close to him, but not as the older version of me, the version that could find this incredibly sexy. I didn’t dwell and soon fell asleep watching the movie.

I could feel Nick shift behind me and knew that he must have been awake. I was still cuddled in close and was really not interested in moving.

“Dell… I’m hungry.” I suppose it was time for dinner. I got up and called my mom to let her know we would be over. She had pretty much assumed that. After going there for a nice dinner and some mindless TV we headed back home. My mom had spent the night giving me questioning looks at Nick’s apparent touchy behaviour. Between cuddling on the floor, playing with my fingers and helping me get my coat on; mom had a lot of ammunition for our next “girl talk.”

The behaviour didn’t change much as we arrived home. Helping me get said coat off, hugging me to warm me up. It was silly, cute, and gentlemanly, not things I was expecting. The shocker came when he asked to sleep in my bed… with me. A few years ago I could see him being egotistical enough to expect the nicer room. He was not usually like this with us, but that was because we wouldn’t let him. Now, though, to share a bed with him, felt weird. We always slept in the same bed or near each other as kids, had done it accidentally the night before. The planning and intent this time felt different, good different, awkward different, just different. I wasn’t about to say no though, not by any means.

We got ready for bed, me in the cutest but warmest pajamas I had, him settling for stripping off his shirt and pants. Dear Lord. We climbed into bed, turned on the TV and picked a string of shows that would hopefully keep our interest. I felt Nick shift closer to me, and then closer again. He reached for my hand and pulled me the rest of the way to his side. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he turned my face slightly to his and kissed my cheek, right to the side of my mouth. Tease.

“Good night Dells, sweet dreams.”

“Good night Nick.” As if I was gonna sleep now. I curled into him and let myself relax and watch TV until my body literally couldn’t take it any longer. Then I slept tucked into Nick safe and sound.