Chapter Three
January 27, 2001

“Jesus Christ, your eyes are huge. You ok?”

Julie giggled at AJ McLean’s concerned expression. “As if yours aren’t? Chill the hell out.”

AJ picked up his sunglasses that had been haphazardly thrown on the table and slid them on, despite being inside a dim hotel suite. He was shirtless and barefoot, dressed only in a pair of worn jeans. He looked like he had been up all night and his wild hair was an uncombed mess. “It’s fucked up, you know. You’re like my little sister. I feel like a god damned prick right now. It’s killing my buzz, to be honest.”

“Whatever.” Julie rolled her eyes, “So melodramatic.”

AJ didn’t respond, he just shook his head. He had such a pensive look on his face that Julie couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Fuck off. Look, it’s--” He roughly picked up her arm from across the table and glanced at her watch, “Jesus. I was supposed to be at sound check ten minutes ago.”

“Guess you’d better get going, Mr. Backstreet Boy,” Julie said with mock seriousness.

AJ quickly showed her his middle finger. “Clean this shit up before someone sees it,” he commanded, motioning towards the table that was littered with an assortment of drugs and related paraphernalia. “I’m gonna hop in the shower.”

Julie saluted him with one hand and held a cigarette in the other. She watched him stalk off towards the bathroom and she rolled her eyes again. It wasn’t exactly the most romantic morning-after that she had ever experienced, that was for sure. In her head, Julie took a moment to picture cuddling in bed with AJ after a night of passionate love making. She laughed out loud at the thought and stubbed her cigarette out. She reached across the table and picked up the half-smoked joint AJ had left behind. After lighting it, she took a long, deep drag before sitting back in her chair. She wondered why he was being so moody, it wasn’t the first time that things had gotten out of hand.

When AJ had called her last night, Julie had been surprised to hear from him. He had apparently forgotten to mention that the Backstreet Boys were going back on tour.  He had sent a car around for her, making Julie feel like a rock star, and they had hung out all night. It started off innocent enough. The plan had been a few drinks at the hotel bar followed by some good old fashioned club-hopping. AJ ended up drinking a little more than she was used to seeing though and then he hooked up with a local group of sketchy people. They all went back to AJ’s swanky hotel room and his new friends busted out all kinds of drugs. Julie wasn’t a stranger to drugs, she ran in AJ’s crowd right alongside him, but she had been a little overwhelmed by the sheer quantity. She had relaxed though as the night went on and she got more and more wasted. She loved hanging with AJ, she always felt safe and never had any of the paranoia issues that she normally experienced while partying.

A fight had broken out at some point during the night. Julie had been so out of it that she couldn’t remember the reason why, but everyone else had ended up splitting, leaving AJ and Julie alone. AJ hadn’t wasted any time taking advantage of that opportunity. He had slammed the door on his now ex new friends and then turned around and, without warning, shoved Julie against the stark white wall. He kissed her roughly, pulling her curly hair and sinking his teeth deep into her pale skin. Julie had responded to him by wrapping her legs around him. Certain drugs made her horny and she knew they had the same effect on AJ. It wasn’t the first time they had ended a crazy night by having painful, bruise-forming sex. They didn’t have feelings for each other beyond friendship, it was only that the other was there, available and familiar. There was no love involved and Julie used him just as much as he used her.

Julie was just finishing up the last of the joint when a loud knock startled her. She eyed the door warily but didn’t make any move to answer it. Whoever it was had a key though, it opened a few seconds later without her assistance.

A female voice, nervous and shrill, was the first one Julie heard. “You can’t just barge into his room!”
“Watch me,” a male voice responded, clearly agitated.

Two very blonde people appeared in the doorway of the suite’s living room and Julie sighed. She recognized the Littrells instantly. Talk about a buzz kill. “He’s in the shower,” she told them flatly, hoping the pair would go away and leave her alone.

Leighanne smiled at her hesitantly, but the smile didn’t quite reach the woman’s eyes. Brian, on the other hand, completely ignored her presence. He walked around, picking up various objects and examining them for several minutes before stopping in front of the large window. Julie watched him look out towards the street. He had a distant look on his face and for the first time ever, Julie realized that Brian was looking old and tired. He took a deep breath, breaking the drawn out silence, and turned towards her. “What the hell happened to you, Julie?” Brian asked her. There was no anger in his voice, just a quiet sadness.

“Huh?” Julie looked at him in confusion. She wasn’t used to Brian speaking to her at all, much less with such sympathy. She didn’t want his concern though, it was insulting. He had never even given her the time of day so it just came across as an act of superiority. He could take his pity and shove it.

Brian shook his head and turned back towards the window. “When I first met you, you were a good kid.”

Julie remembered. It had been a sunny summer day when she and her mother had flown to Orlando. She had been 14 at the time and they were visiting her mom’s friend, Denise, and her son. She had known AJ her whole life, her mom told her they had played together when she was a baby. As far as Julie could remember though, they had never been particularly close. Julie and her parents moved to Atlanta when she was three years old and they only saw their friends in Florida a couple of times per year after that. That all changed during that visit though. AJ had been about to head off to Europe with his band and Julie had found it all incredibly exciting and glamorous. The two teenagers kept in touch with letters and phone calls and became close friends over the following years. She had met all the “boys” that week. They had all been friendly and nice to her. She especially had enjoyed spending time with Nick, since they were the same age.

“You don’t know me,” Julie hissed at Brian. She didn’t want to have this conversation with him or with anyone else. It was true, back then she appeared to be a straight, clean cut kid. She went to church, she was on the honor roll, she was even in the marching band. Her friends were similar, their idea of a good time had been driving to their rival’s football games to check out their band shows. Despite her promising future, Julie had been miserable and unhappy. Three years later, the summer before her senior year of high school, Julie became a completely different person. It baffled a lot of people. The few people who bothered to actually talk to her, instead of just whisper about her behind her back, never got any answers. Julie never spoke about it and as far as she was concerned, if someone didn’t like the new her, they could screw off. Now Julie was almost 21, and she cared even less about what people thought of her.

Brian nodded, gazing out. “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t really care to either.”

“Brian!” Leighanne gasped at her husband’s harsh words.

Brian waved her off, “I don’t have the time or the energy. My concern is for AJ alone... he gives me enough to worry about. Sorry if that’s mean but it is what it is. And from where I’m standing, all I can see is that this girl just drags him down further. Some best friend.”