She smiled for what felt like the first time in forever. Having the guys around was helping her more than she ever thought possible. She would never admit that she needed help, never admit that she was weak in any sense of the word. Though she was sure the guys had picked up on her wavering strength, especially Kevin. She was grateful that he was back in her life, grateful that he was there for her and she hoped she was helping him in some way. She leaned back against the wall and watched as he played with his son; the sparkle in his eye was unmistakable. She had missed him, missed so much of his life. She still couldn't grasp the concept completely that Kristen wasn't there sitting beside her, watching, making comments and telling stories.

She glanced up when she felt little arms wrap around her leg, she glanced down seeing the little blonde head, reaching down she touched his head, "are you trying to hide from Daddy?"

He nodded his head as he looked up at her. Her breath caught slightly in her throat, it happened every time the little boy looked at her, he had the same eyes as his father. They pierced right through her. Kevin had done the same thing when she first met him. They had an instant connection and bonded over the simplest of things.

She was brought out of her trance as the little boy giggled and ran off, finding something to amuse himself with. She felt Kevin beside her, "he is so much like you."

"Isn’t he? I still can't believe sometimes that I had a part in making him, it's surreal," as he kept his eyes trained on his son, reaching an arm to wrap around her shoulders pulling her against his side, "he has her blonde hair though."

"He does," she whispered as she let herself lean against him, not sure what else to say to the other. She didn't want to bring up Kristen if he didn't want to talk about.

He ran his hand up and down her arm in comforting strokes, being in Florida right now was exactly what he needed, it was the perfect distraction to help start getting his life back on track. Knowing that Ash needed his help, knowing that she was fragile and falling apart. He had heard her that first night they had all meet back up again, he had went to stay with her that night, and after getting Mason settled he had went to talk to her. He noticed her door was closed and was about to knock when he heard her crying.  He’d rested his hand on the door, he didn't want to disturb her, and he didn't want her to know that he had seen her at her weakest. He knew that would destroy her, make her push them away.

"How is everything going with Shay? Is she ready to go home?"

"I don't know, I mean how much can someone be ready to go to a place they don't even remember? I have a hard enough time trying to get her to listen to me, which well to be honest was always a problem. I just want to help her; I want to piece her life back together. Fuck Kevin, I want to go back in time and make it so this didn't happen at all, maybe if I had stayed with Paul..."

"Ashdonabee!" as he looked at her sternly, "don't even think like that. He destroyed your life, pulled apart your self-worth. Staying with him would have killed you and you know it. Heck I couldn't even see you; you couldn't talk to your best friend, what kind of life was that? You are beautiful, smart and completely talented; I don't ever want you to think that staying with him would have made your life better for you. We all want back our confident beautiful Ashdonabee Accord, the one that stepped into that room all those years ago."

She tilted her head slightly to look up at him, biting her bottom lip to keep herself in check, "I'm trying to get back there, trying so hard to figure myself out. I just haven't had time to focus on anything but Shay, she takes all my time and energy and she needs it right now."

"Not all of it, we are here now to help you, to take some of the weight off your shoulders. You don't have to always take on everything yourself," flicking his eyes quickly to check on his son before looking back at her, "and please don’t take on my pain, it's the last thing that I need or want. Just being here, seeing you again, it helps to be around people I care about and ones who need me. I always want you to know you can depend on me."

"I always could, I just feel so guilty that I didn't know about Kris. That I was so disconnected. I wish I had been able to talk to you about it."

"There were so many times I wanted to call you, but I didn't. I knew if he answered your phone it would never be good for you. I hated the position he put you in, and when I heard that you had left him, I actually smiled. Kristen wanted to call you, but she didn't have the strength to even sit up most days," his voice fading out as he spoke.

She felt her heart tighten as she looked at him, moving her arms around him and hugging him close, just offering him whatever comfort that she could, "I bet she fought so hard to stay with you, you are an amazing man Kevin, I'm sure she knew how much you cherished her and loved her. She never wanted for anything when you were there and now Mason will never need for anything, he will have all the love in the world because you are his father."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, resting his cheek against her temple, holding onto her tighter, "the reason I'm making it through this, and still holding on is because of my friends, ones like you who listen and don't judge and let me do things on my own time. It's why I followed the guys; I needed all that comfort I had when I was a part of the band."

"You are always a part of the band," she replied, "maybe not a physical part but an emotional one."

He smiled kissing her forehead, "I think we should go grab something to eat, I haven't seen you eat a decent meal since I’ve been here."

"I don't have time," came her reply as she smiled up at him, "but if you are offering to take me lunch I won't object in the slightest."

He laughed softly; he loved how their conversations flowed, no matter how serious they could get they always ended up smiling or laughing at something or another. He glanced over at Mason, "he needs to eat anyway; he's been burning off so much running around all day."

"He must get that from his mother, all that energy because I’ve never you move faster than a turtle," she teased as she squeezed his side before pushing off the wall and stretching her arms over her head.

"Hey," he laughed as he pushed off the wall nudging her with his elbow, as he stood beside her, "Mason, come on it's time to go eat."

She smiled as the boy ran towards him, laughing as his father lifted him up into his arms kissing his temple. She took a deep breath as she looked out over the atrium tucked somewhere in the hospital and sighed, she would be glad when she didn't have to be here anymore, when the brick walls weren't her home anymore. For sure she would miss it, especially when she had become friends with some of the hospital staff, but Shay was finally getting to go home. What exactly was home? A room in her town house? A place Shay hasn't stayed in years, it wouldn't help her, at least that was her opinion, but the Doctor said she needed family, and she was her only family at this point. Kevin brought her out of her trance by taking her elbow and motioning they should leave. She nodded her head and wrapped her arms around herself. For some reason since the guys had shown up she felt overexposed. Maybe it was because they were watching her carefully, taking in her every move to make sure she was okay. Most times she just wanted to scream at them but what good would that do? They were just trying to help after all right?