My teas gone cold and I wonder why

I got out of bed at all

The morning rain clouds touch my window

And I can’t see at all

And if I could it’d all be gray

But your picture on my wall

If reminds me that it’s not so bad

It’s not so bad…

            The sound of a plate hitting the wall echoed through the house. Her mother was at it again. She had run out of money for cigarettes and was on the edge. Eve had been in the kitchen cleaning before her mother started lashing out. She ducked again when another dish flew in her direction.

“Why don’t we ever have any fucking money!” her mother screamed.

“We never have anything because you spend it all on drugs!” Eve shot back.

            Her mother got up from the couch. Her thinning blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun. She staggered over to the girl, using her bony fingers to pull on Eve’s hair. Eve cried out as her mother became to shake her.

“Stop it!” Eve cried falling to her knees.

“We’d have money if your good for nothing father paid for you.” Her mother spat, “You’re just as worthless as him.”

“I’m not worthless-“ her sentence was cut short with a smack.

            Just then the front door to their trailer had opened up. It was her mother’s boyfriend John. The look on his face was unpleasant at the sight of their home and the fight in front of them.

“What the fuck is this shit?” he asked, “Joyce why is the god damn house a mess!”

Joyce let got of Eve’s hair, “This little bitch was edging me on. She was talking back to me.”

John turned to look at the sobbing girl on the ground, “You’re an adult now! You should know how to act better.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Eve sobbed.

            John strolled over to her undoing the belt of his pants. Eve’s head shot up with fear and stood up. She started to run but he caught her arm and threw her back against the wall. She screamed as he pinned her to the wall.

“I didn’t do it!” she screamed

“You need to be taught a lesson,” he heavily breathed into her neck.

            She continued to struggle as his hand made his way up her dress. He tugged on the fabric of her underwear until they were torn off. Hot tears streamed down her face as he forcefully slammed into her. Her eyes focused on her mother who looked nothing but pissed. Finally she stopped struggling and just relaxed against the wall.

“You’re such a whore!” her mother yelled, “You’re disgusting!”

            When John was done he backed away from her as she slid down the floor. A mixture of fluids ran down her legs. She sat on the floor crying, “Mommy…” she whimpered. All her mother could do was slap her, “That’s what you get for talking back and for fucking my husband! Go to your room.” Eve pulled herself off the floor and staggered to her bedroom. When she closed the door behind her she fell onto the bed crying herself to sleep.

~--------~

            A few weeks had passed since the incident at her home. She was so thankful that she was a senior this year and set to graduate next month. Due to her outstanding grades she was allowed to graduate before her 16th birthday. In school she was nothing more than an outcast. Sometimes people spoke to her but she hadn’t really had any friends. The bell rang in her classroom as she grabbed her books and left the room. She clutched her books, her long light brown hair covering her face. She made her way to the library.

“I need some help,” she said barely above a whisper.

The librarian turned around, “How can I help you today?”

“Do you know anything about Genealogy?”

“Some, are you looking to trace your family back for a report?”

“Yes”

            Eve sat in front of the computers with a stack of newspapers. For as long as she could remember she fantasized about her real father coming to rescue her like a white knight in a fairytale story to take her away from her wicked mother. But he never showed, but then again how was he? She had no idea who he was, her mother refused to tell her and the only information that she knows is that he never wanted to be involved. Bitterness had run through her that he could just abandon her and her mother. Finally after searching she found her birth certificate.

She starred at the screen, “Brian Thomas Littrell,” she whispered.