Chapter 9
AJ walked out of the shower area, a white bath towel wrapped around his waist. His short curly hair was dripping wet as he ran his hands through it. The other guys were still in their showers after the concert. AJ and Brian were leaving to go back to Chelsea right away. Nick and Howie were hopping a plane back to Cali early tomorrow morning. Sitting down at the chair in front of his bag he pulled out a fresh pair of jeans and a fresh clean t-shirt.
With a sigh he looked at the t-shirt in his hand, his mind floating back to Chelsea. It gave him goose bumps every time he thought about her, alive, breathing, in her bed. He closed his eyes trying to push his feelings away but they weren’t having it. He dropped his clothes and put his head in his hands as he started crying. He tried to stop it, tried to stop his tears so the guys wouldn’t hear him but he couldn’t. He was frustrated at the fact he couldn’t just scoop her up into his arms and tell her how much he missed her. Angry at her Father for taking her and robbing them both of something special and he was scared, scared that she would never recover from this. But yet there was also joy in his tears, joy that she was alive.
“Alex?” AJ looked up when he heard Brian’s voice. He looked at his hand on his shoulder and then looked away again. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” AJ said sniffing as he wiped his eyes on his towel.
“How come you never told us about you and Chelsea? I mean we were close at that time.” Howie said as the guys sat down beside him.
“Like I told Kevin, I didn’t want to, didn’t want to deal with the thousands of questions and I just wanted to keep her to myself at that point.” AJ said with a shrug, still trying to compose himself.
“Maybe you should just go back to the hotel, get some rest and..” AJ interrupted Brian.
“Thanks but I’m good, really.” AJ said standing up as he picked up his clothes again. “I’ll be ready in a couple of minutes.” He said to Brian as he headed into the change rooms.
When he came back out the others were still in their change stalls getting dressed. He walked over to his bag and packed the loose clothing up and zipped it closed. Picking up his backpack he gently tossed it over his shoulder as Brian walked out brushing his hair.
“Might want to, you know.” AJ said motioning with his hand over his hair. “Start doing the comb over thing.” He said as he looked at the back of Brian’s head.
“Screw you Mclean.” Brian snapped as AJ started laughing.
“I always thought I’d be bald before you.” AJ snickered as he walked over to the door.
“And I thought Nick’s face wouldn’t always look like that but hey what can ya do?” Brian said with a shrug.
“Hey, leave me out of this.” Nick scoffed as he walked out of the change room. “Ass.”
“Give me a call tomorrow, lets hook something up when everyone has time.” Howie said to AJ as they left the dressing room.
“Pretty good start guys.” Nick said with a nod.
“Good luck at your shows man, sorry I can’t be there.” Howie said as him and AJ hugged.
“It’s cool.” AJ said with a nod.
“Hey maybe Chelsea will be well enough, she can go see it.” Nick said with a smile.
“I think she’ll be spending Easter with the Richardson’s.” AJ said with a light smile.
The fellas said goodbye one more time when they stopped in front of two vans in the under ground parking lot, one for Howie and Nick and one for AJ and Brian. Rolling down the window, AJ pulled out his pack of cigarettes.
“She’s going to kick your ass.” He heard Brian say and he looked over at Brian.
“Huh?” He said confused, his cigarette stuck between his lips.
“Chels, when she finds out you started smoking she’s going to kick your ass, her mom smoked and she hated it.” Brian said looking at him.
“I know” AJ said as he took a drag and pulled it away from his lips. “She’s going to kick my ass on a lot of things.” Brian lightly laughed.
“Does she know about her mom?” Brian asked.
“Yeah” He said as he blew out the smoke. “She asked about her last night, or this morning.” AJ said thinking.
“She’s got a long road ahead of her man.” Brian said with a sigh. “Kevin said she’s freaking out and seeing shit.”
“Yeah” AJ said quietly, remembering back to this morning.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to do?” Brian asked.
“What do you mean?” AJ asked as he flicked his cigarette and tossed ashes out the window.
“Well I mean, a relationship isn’t something you should be thinking about right now.” Brian said.
“And who said I was?” AJ asked a little defensive. “You really think I’m sitting here thinking, oh boy can’t wait to get back and open up that hospital gown, show her what I’ve learned over the years.” AJ said with sarcastic anger. “I suppose me crying back there was because of a severe case of blue balls!”
“Alex stop.” Brian said as he raised his hand. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Well enlighten me, what did you mean?” AJ scoffed.
“I just meant you have a lot of things coming up and I don’t know how close you two were, just what Kevin told me.” Brian said as AJ tossed his smoke out the window.
“I don’t plan on pushing anything.” AJ said trying to stay calm. He knew Brian meant well but it was really starting to piss him off. “I’m going home, double checking the rehearsal dates with the band, and then I’m either going back to Mexico or to Kentucky for a couple of days, I’ll fly back do rehearsals and then my shows.”
“Don’t burn yourself out.” Brian said eyeing him as they pulled off the highway towards the town of Morelia.
“I got so much shit going on in my head right now, there’s just too much energy for me to burn out.” AJ sighed as they turned down the private hospital’s street.
“Then don’t crash hard.” Brian said as they turned into the hospital.
“I’ll be fine.” AJ replied as the van rolled to a stop.
He opened the door and climbed out of the van. He gently slapped his pants making sure his smokes were still in his pocket and closed the door. Stretching he reached up and leaned back a little. Sighing he dropped his hands beside him and walked around to the back of the van as the driver and Brian opened the door.
They took their bags and headed into the building. When they walked in the front doors a lady at the desk looked up and smiled at them. Brian opened the door and AJ walked into the private hallway. The chatter of people echoed in the hallways, muffling the sound of the guys walking down the hall. Brian opened the door to Chelsea’s room and when AJ walked in behind him he was surprise to see Chelsea sitting up in her bed talking to Kevin. Both guys put their bags down away from the door.
“There they are.” Kevin said with a smile. “How’d the show go?”
“Great” Brian said with a smile. He walked over to Chelsea and gave her a hug. “I was here this morning but you were sleeping.” Brian said with a light smile.
“Hey Bri, Aunt Jackie wants you to call her, I’ll show you to the phone.” Kevin said as he pointed to the door.
“Alright.” Brian said with a nod.
“So.” AJ said as he turned to look at Chelsea. “How are you doing?” He asked.
“Ok I guess.” She said with a shrug. “Kevin said I had an episode this morning, he said I spazzed out on you.”
“Yeah” AJ said with a light nod as he sat down in the chair next to her bed. “But its ok, not your fault.”
“I’ve been hearing that all day.” She said with a sigh.
“Besides you seem like you’re doing better.” AJ said.
“Yeah, for now.” Chelsea said quietly. “Until the phone rings, until someone drops something or I have another nightmare.”
“You’ve been through a lot Chels, it’ll pass.” AJ said as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“Yeah great, then everyone else will be another 13 years ahead of me.” She said and AJ caught the anger in her tone. “I mean look at you, you’ve changed a lot. You have tattoo’s, more earrings than I remember, and I’m sure you have a girlfriend or wife that is waiting for you to get home.” She said as she started crying. AJ frowned as he got up from his chair and carefully sat down beside her. He gently pulled her hands from her face and wrapped his fingers around hers.
“I don’t.” He said as he let go and wiped away her tears. “Don’t have a wife, don’t even have a girlfriend, and yeah, I have a lot of tats, and earrings, and I’ve defiantly changed.” AJ said with a nod. He felt himself getting emotional again, his lip started to quiver. “The past 13 years hasn’t exactly been easy for me.” He told her. “I didn’t tell anyone about us, actually Kevin found out a couple of weeks ago, just before he came down here. They found a box you had with pictures and stuff in it.”
“You didn’t tell anyone?” She asked. “You told your mom didn’t you?”
“Nope.” AJ said. “When you died, what we had no one knew about and I wanted to keep it that way, keep you to myself.” AJ said as he looked at her hands. “And then after that, everything just snowballed. I found my dad who then at that point wanted to be apart of my life, not to mention all the drama that with having him in my life. I was being pulled in different directions by everyone around me to be this way, act this way and it tore me apart.”
“Alex.” She said sadly.
“I became addicted to alcohol and drugs cause I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore, I just wanted you back, so I could tell you what was going on, talk to you like I use too.” AJ said as a tear dripped from his eye. “Finally Kevin basically had it with me, the way I was acting, we were on tour and he ripped into me along with my hotel room doors.” He stopped talking, remembering that night. “I thought it was you, pushing him getting him to kick my ass.” He said with a little laugh and it made her laugh too. AJ smiled at her, happy to see her smiling.
“I’ve been through a lot, some of it because of you and some of it not, but I plan on spending a lot of time filling you in.” AJ said “ and I don’t know what happened to you when you were with your dad, and if you never tell me, that’s fine but if you do, that’s cool too.” AJ said and she looked away from him. Placing his hand on the side of her face, he turned her head to look at him. “I know what it’s like having to pick up all the pieces and figure out how they go back together, how they fit now and it’s going to take you a long time to get your life back but I will be here whenever you need me, ok?”
“Ok” She said with a light nod. He smiled at her and then slid his hands up the side of her arms, pulling her into a hug.
