Nick
I hated when Brian got mad at me. It wasn't often, but when it happened, it was bad. The tension was enough to choke a cow. The type of cow that was not a part of a hard shell taco supreme from Taco Bell. Trust me, I know. That shit's mystery meat.
Anyhow, we managed to somehow get through that show in Chicago, if only because the choreography separated Bri and I a lot of the time. Makeup covered up the nice plow I had given to his nose, but nothing could help my rug burns. I was in agony by the time the show was over.
Now, I know that what I did was wrong, but it still pissed me off that Brian had turned on Lauren like that. It wasn't her fault that I had gone scampering on the bus. I had wanted to. I had made that decision; in fact, it was one of those rare decisions I made all by myself.
So sue me if it was the wrong choice.
The next few shows didn't go so well. Between girls asking Brian where the Wylee booth was, me sneaking out to the IHop to meet Lauren (okay, so I wasn't THAT injured), AJ pouting over being screamed at, and Howie just staying out of the way, we were falling apart.
Heather was waiting for us when we pulled up to the Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut for the first of our two shows. I was staring out the window and caught sight of her waiting in the blocked off area, shielding her eyes and watched the caravan of buses swing in.
I had said goodbye to Lauren the day before in Baltimore. Even though I had tried to make it an 'official' goodbye, it didn't work well.
'Cause Lauren had told me she loved me.
And I had kinda told her the same thing back.
I had never spilled the words so easily. There we were, two people committed to being uncommitted, telling each other 'I love you.'
Then there was the picture. Lauren had wanted a little goodbye momento. She had straddled me, commanding me to strike a sexy pose. I didn't know how much sexier I could get buckass naked, but I stretched my arms over my head, gave her my 'I'm too sexy for my clothes' death stare, and heard the telltale snap. Then we had just happened to have sex again. Sigh. In the words of Yoda - Amazing, it was.
I was so screwed.
"There's your fiance," AJ said, tapping the window above my head. He had jumped up on the couch, hanging over me with his ape pits just an inch above my head. I swatted at him.
"Git off, man!"
AJ whistled. "Someone's grouchy."
I scowled. I saw Heather making a beeline and I jumped off the couch, prepared to get tackled. After ninety seconds when the door didn't open an inch, I glanced back out. She was gone.
And AJ's grin just got a little bigger.
"What?"
"She ran to the other bus."
"The oth--"
"Brian's bus."
"Why the hell--"
"Didn't you see the picture floating around Twitter?"
I paled. I had a bad feeling. "What picture?"
J's face was as bright as that ugly leg lamp from A Christmas Story. It was horrendous and awe-inducing at the same time. "Someone snagged a picture of you that I think a certain 'Kitty' snapped of you last night," he sang.
"No."
"Yup!"
"You don't think--"
"Heather saw? Oh hells yeah I do."
I blanched. Suddenly I heard a loud thud and looked down. AJ was sprawled on the floor doing a horrible imitation of my pose.
"I'm ready for my close-up Mr. Deville," he simpered, batting his eyelashes and keeping his brown orbs on me.
I snapped. You know the saying, 'if you can't take the heat, get outta the kitchen?' Well the heat was getting to much for me, but instead of getting out I thought beating up the kitchen was the better idea. I lunged for AJ, just like Brian had lunged for me five days before. He wasn't fast enough to scramble away. We wrestled around on the ground for several minutes before Marcus and Q broke us apart. I swear that those guys have a sixth sense about us. AJ spat on the ground, wiggling against the hold Q had him in.
"Don't blame me for your inability to keep it in your--"
"You need to keep your nose outta things!"
"You and Brian need mental help!"
"This has nothing to do with Brian!"
"This has everything to do with Brian! Just let him have Heather and go get Lauren and stop all this soap opera bullshit!"
I stopped flailing against Marcus. My jaw went slack.
"This is---she doesn't---I---"
Q must have realized AJ wasn't going to go all Captain Demento on him anymore. He let go and AJ rubbed his elbow.
"Why is it that everyone else can see what's going on except you three? Maybe that picture coming out was a good thing. Something has to make you guys wake up."
J tapped Q on the shoulder. "Let's go play a couple slots." He gave me a look as him and the big guy walked past.
"Make the right choice, Nick."
Heather
I slammed onto Brian’s bus. I’d just spent the worst night of my life. I’d found the picture ten minutes after she posted with the caption look what I’m doing right now. I’d laid in bed sick to my stomach, rolling and imagining her fingers on him, imagining his face, his eyes, his bare chest, all the features and body parts that were supposed to be mine.
And the scariest part was I was kind of wondering why I was so upset.
“Brian,” I choked out his name, “Brian?”
No actually, the scariest part was not only was I not upset, but I was excited a little bit because Nick cheating on me had given me the license to go to Brian, to tell Brian I loved him, to beg him to take me instead of Leighanne.
“Brian!” I called again.
I froze. Because I heard it.
“Mmm, ohh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh that feels so good, don’t stop.”
I was standing mere paces from the bunks, and I couldn’t go any further. I was nine years old all over again, frozen in place by the fence, ten feet from the Jacuzzi, their limbs intertwined in ways that I hadn’t even known boys and girls could do before that moment. Except this time it was no Jacuzzi.
My heart practically shattered. So he had gone back to Kentucky to get Leighanne. And now he was doing what any married man should be doing with their wives. He was making love to her.
Love.
I staggered backwards without another word, down the steps and off the bus to the lot. My stomach was in coiled knots of agony. How the hell could I have been stupid enough to think that maybe he’d choose me over her?
I dashed across the lot, bleary eyed and aching, when I ran square into Nick, who had been on his way to Brian’s bus. I hit him in the chest with the full force of my run, and he caught me, his hands on my back, his strong – good smelling boy hands. He stared down at me, “Heather, I—“
And suddenly it was like my brain went blank. I didn’t want to run away, I didn’t want to do anything except make the pain stop. And there was a lot of pain. I looked into Nick’s eyes and, in the most broken voice I’d ever heard escape my mouth, I said, “Fuck me.”
He blinked in surprise, “What?”
“Take me to your bus and fuck my brains out,” I snapped.
Nick licked his lips, his eyes growing hungry. Then, like he was snapping out of it, he shook his head, “Heather, no I’ve been so disrespectful to you, it’d be wrong to –“
“NICK!” I yelled his name sharply, like a pissed off mother. “I said fuck me.”
Apparently chivalry can only withstand the offer being presented twice because Nick didn’t stand up against me a second time, he picked me up and carried me back to his bus, his crotch growing against mine, his fingers clutching me. We landed on the bus floor and I started yanking clothing off my body, like shedding the shirt and pants and lingerie I’d been wearing when I heard Brian with Leighanne would make the memories fade.
“Heather,” he said cautiously, “Heather, did you see the –“
“The picture? Yeah.” I shook my head, “I don’t care.”
“You don’t ca—“
“NICK!” I shouted his name again, sharply, and he reacted like I’d slapped him. He stared at me, eyes wild. “Are you gonna stick it in me or what?”
He stared at me, “What got into you?” he asked.
And that’s all it took.
I was laying on the bus floor, Nick pulled over me, only wearing panties and a bra, and sobbing. Tears poured out of my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. Nick stared at me, dumbfounded and confused looking. “Heather, I-“
“Shut up,” I begged, “I need you to love me like you love her.”
He stared at me. “Heather,” his voice was gentle.
“Just fucking keep pretending then,” I sobbed, “Please.”
Nick lay down beside me like he was collapsing and turned to curl his body against mine, his arm tucking across my bare stomach. “I’m not pretending to love you,” he whispered quietly, “I just – I think I love her, too.”
And I couldn’t see through the tears.
Brian
I’d been ditched by Howie and Leigh – who were probably having crazy-wild sex on the tour bus Howie and I were sharing right now. I was running late. The hotel room smelled like shower and my hair was still wet even as I tugged my shirt on and tied my sneakers. Downstairs, Jenn and a van were waiting for me to get me to the venue in time for VIP. I stared at the letter I’d written. I’d spent hours writing it, and carefully scrawling Heather’s name on the envelope. I was going to tell her the moment I saw her, try to beat Nick to her.
I’d seen the picture of Nick on Twitter, surely she had too. Surely she wouldn’t wanna still marry him. Surely this was my chance.
I clutched the envelope in my teeth.
And just in case I pansied out, I had written it all down and sealed it with scotch tape.
“Took you long enough,” Jenn chastised as I crawled across the seat into the van.
“Sorry,” I said, tucking the envelope into my jacket pocket. “I was extra stinky from all the basket ball.” I winked at her. As stress relief, I’d made Jenn find me a hoop to play at in Baltimore and I’d played for a solid six hours just me and the net.
Jenn wrinkled her nose, “And now you smell like a cologne factory threw up on you.” She smirked, “Hot date tonight, Littrell?” she asked, winking.
“Sort of,” I answered. I subconsciously patted my chest, where the envelope was hiding.
At the venue, the van dropped me off by mine and Howie’s bus – from which emerged a very messy haired Leigh and a prouder-than-pie Howie. “Thanks for the –er- alone time,” Howie greeted me with a wink.
“Yeah, no problem.” I glanced around. I didn’t see Heather anywhere. “Have you seen Heather any—“
“Really? Have I seen anything except the bunk and –“ Howie looked at Leigh.
“Nevermind.” I jogged away from the love birds, and prayed Heather was maybe backstage.
