Chapter 12 

"Well, my goodness gracious. Look what the cat dragged in. Mr. Nickolas Carter!"

Nick laughed and opened his arms to greet Brian. "Hey man! It's good to see you...again."

"Nick, it's only been a couple of days since we finished up recording."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. I just missed my best friend. That's all." Nick said while grabbing his bags.

"Okay. What happend to Nick and where is he?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not your usual self. I can tell." Brian said while grabbing one of Nick's bags and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Just some stuff."

"Just some stuff? Carter doesn't just 'go through some stuff'. Usually when you're going through stuff, it's something major. You look exhausted. Like you have slept for days man."

"I haven't."

"Talk to me, Nick."

"Look Brian, can we not do this? Right now? In the middle of the airport? Tonight, I promise."

"Alright, alright. No pressure. Whenever you're ready... I'm here."

"Okay, thanks."

* * *

"He's gotten so big, Bri."

"Yeah," Brian said, smiling, watching Baylee play with his toys in the living room later that night. "He really has."

"He looks exactly like you, too. No denying that."

Brian laughed. "You're right. He definitely does. My pride and joy."

"I thought it something like, bundle of joy?"

Brian looked at Nick. "Since when has Nick Carter become so interested in baby terms?"

Since I just found out that I had one. "I'm uh, not really. I just, you know. Heard it somewhere." He lied.

"You know since your his "Uncle Nick", it would be nice to see him having little "cousins" around to play with."

"Ha, real funny Brian." Nick snorted.

"What? It's true. When will we see little Nick Jr.'s running around, huh?" He said, slighty smirking at Nick.

"Okay. First, even if I DID have a kid, he's name definitely won't be 'Nick Jr.'"

"Relax Nick. I was just playing around with you man." Brian noticed Nick's mood changed and started to wonder why the topics of babies were effecting Nick this way.

"What's got you so, I don't know, uptight about this?"

"What? I'm not uptight. This is coming from the one person who acts like he has the little perfect family? Right." Nick said, while walking away.

"Whoa. Calm down Nick. I'm sorry that I love my family. Since it effects you that much, maybe next time I won't show them any love at all."

"Brian, that's not--"

"No, that's exactly what you meant, Nick."

"It's not. Look, I'm sorry Brian. I just, I don't know."

"What's going on? Talk to me."

"It's...nothing."

"Really? Because, you pretty much just lashed out on me over something stupid."

"It's not stupid." He sighed.

"So...then."

"It's Emma."

"Oh, you talked to her?"

"Yeah."

"How'd that go?"

"Shi-- I mean, horrible. She lied to me Brian, after all this time. She lied to me."

"She lied? About what?"

"She--" Nick stopped and thought about what to say. "I pretty much did what you told me to do."

"That's a first."

Nick looked up at Brian and glared at him. "Can I finish?" Brian nodded. "So, I did what you told me to do. I talked to her. I was going to go her apartment but, she ended up calling me first and asking me to come over because she said we needed to talk. So I did."

"Doesn't sound too horrible."

"It is. She started acting weird. Like she couldn't even look at me without crying or tearing up. All she kept telling me was that she was sorry and that she didn't mean for this to work out this way. At this point, I was confused like a motherfu--flower. So I asked her what was going on cause, she was scaring me. That's when she told me..."

"Told you what?"

"Just the look on her face when she told me. I know she felt sorry. I could see it in her eyes but, god. After everything, everything that I did and said, she pulls shi--crap out."

"Okay, I'm really trying to understand you here, buddy. What exactly did she tell you? Is she with someone else? She loves someone else? Heck, is she married? Kids?"

"No. Well, no to all of those...except the last one."

"Kids? She has kids?"

"A kid."

"Well, wow. Uh, that's...a bit--"

"My kid."

"Um, say what?" It was Brian's turn to look at Nick and glare at him.

"It's my kid. Well, was." Nick looked away and felt tears forming in his eyes.

"Was?" Brian asked, confused.

"Yeah. Emma told me that she only carried her for three months. Miscarriage. She would've been two years old now. But, you know what hurts the most Bri?" Brian shook his head.

"She told me on Haley's birthday." Nick whispered.

"Haley, huh?"

"Yeah. Haley Elizabeth. It was the name Emma and I had picked out when we were together. It was one night after a show when we were laying up in bed, thinking about how our future would be if we ever did decide to get married and have kids."

"I'm sorry Nick."

"Nah," He said, wiping a few tears. "It's not your fault. It just hurts me, man. She lied to me. She kept this shit from me."

"Is that why you called me and said you needed to get out of LA?"

"Yeah. I just, needed to get out. I can't be around that place or Emma for that matter."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. You know you can always call me and come out here and stay with us. We love you."

"Thanks Bri."

They both sat there in silence for a couple of minutes thinking of what to say.

"I'm sorry Nick. For what's it's worth, I know how you feel."

"Yeah. Like I said, it's not your fault. It just hurts."

"In the end, it'll get better. Just trust me on that one. Leave everything in God's hands, he'll know what to do with it." Brian smiled.

Nick reached into his pocket and pulled out the ultrasound picture. "This is Haley."

"Wow, she's beautiful." Brian said, staring down at the picture. "I mean it's all black and white and grainy but, you can definitely tell she's beautiful."

"She would've been..."

"No, Nick. That's where you're wrong. She's still in you. She's still in your heart. She might be gone but, her spirit still lives on in you and Emma. She still IS beautiful."

"Yeah." Nick then reached into his other pocket and pulled out a peice of paper. "I have this too." He said, handing the paper to Brian.

"What's this?"

"Lyrics to a song. It's not much but, I just wrote a few things that I had in mind. Maybe you can like, add to it or something."

"What's it called?"

"It... doesn't have a title yet."

"Do you have like the melody and all of that so maybe we can piece it together and head over to the studio tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I got everything. Honestly, don't laugh but, it has like a country type...vibe to him."

Brian laughed either way. "You want to sing some of it?"

"Uh, yeah...sure. I could...do that."

"Go for it."

Nick sat down, closed his eyes and started to sing the words that he had written just a few hours ago on the plane ride to Atlanta.

How come you never know
What you got until it's gone
Too bad
Because I never felt so good with anyone
How fooled was I into thinking
I was gonna be alright
Okay
Fine

So every day I try a little harder
To forget her
Lie here convince myself
Tomorrow will be better

The trouble is I can't get her out of my mind
When I close my eyes at night
Who's gonna save me
Now she's gone
The trouble is there's a part of me
That still can't let go of her memory
And now I know what it is
Love is what the trouble is


As Nick finished, he opened his eyes and saw Brian smiling at him. "What dude? You're giving me a creepy smile."

"I think we already got a title for that song."

"Yeah?"

Brian nodded. "'Trouble Is' You wrote that song for Emma didn't you?"

Trouble Is. Definitely has a nice ring to it. "Yeah, I did and about Haley too."

"Like I said Nick, she will always be apart of you. In here." Brian said, pointing to his heart."

"Thanks, man."

"So listen, tomorrow we're heading to the studio to see if we can write a bit more on it and then lay down and see what happens."

"Sure. We could do that."

"Aright, well. I'm going to head up to bed. You'll be alright down here?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I feel alot better, thanks."

"If you need anything, I'll be up there. Just knock or something."

"Thanks." Nick said. As Brian started to leave the kitchen, Nick called out to him. "Hey Bri?"

Brian turned around. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything. I owe you."

"That's what best friends are for. Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night Bri."

"Good night Nicky."

Nick laughed, and with that, Brian was gone. As Nick was left alone, he grabbed the picture that was sitting on the counter, brought it to his lips and gave it a small peck.

"Good night baby. Sleep with the angels."