Part 49 - Awesome

Everything seemed to go in fast forward once I called Gena and told her that I wanted to adopt Maxwell.  The spare bedroom that was originally going to be Kevin’s Man Cave turned into a nursery, Kevin’s things were delivered by the movers, and I didn’t freak out one bit.  It was like his things showed up and fit in perfectly.  His Thinking Chair that I dubbed “Steve” after Blue’s Clues truly did fit into my living room theme like it had always been there and his clothes fit into his side of my closet without any trouble. 

Once Maxwell was moved in and we’d had a few weeks to get used to having a baby around I often found myself trying to remember what life had been like without him.  One day he wasn’t there, and the next he was just part of our daily routine.  What Tami had said about him being a good happy baby was true.  He was honestly one of the most awesome babies I’d ever met, and not just because he was mine. 

Then there was Kevin.  I’d thought he was sexy and amazing before but once he stepped into the role of Daddy, it was total overload.  He changed poopy diapers like a pro and often times would get up in the middle of the night to check on Maxwell even if he wasn’t fussing.  The way they’d sit together just watching the water made my heart swell on a regular basis.

A lot of times when I’d get up to watch the sunrise in the morning Maxwell would be awake and I’d take him outside with me.  We’d snuggle and watch the sun come up and I’d fall further into love with him.  I’d tell him what I knew about his birth parents and referred to them as his Angel Mommy & Daddy then I’d tell him all about his Uncle Sean and all of the family that he had here on earth that loved him so much.

My fears about being a good enough mom stuck around but weren’t nearly as strong as they’d been when I was trying to decide if I should adopt or not.  I had my moments where I’d fuck something up and get frustrated but then Maxwell would look up at me and smile and everything would be fine again.  It was kind of amazing what his smile could cure for me.

As for my mom, she was in her glory being a Grandma.  She came up to visit us as often as possible and would usually stay a few days at a time.  She was so in love with Maxwell, but so were the rest of us.  Even Vinnie easily transitioned into his role of big brother without any trouble.  Basically, everything was great and for a welcome change I wasn’t waiting for it to get bad, I was just enjoying it.

Christian said to me one day, “Being a mom and in love looks good on you…”

“It feels good too,” I told him with a smile.  “It’s crazy, isn’t it?  How for a while there I was so ready to just be alone forever and then in one summer I meet Kevin and adopt a baby.”

“It’s crazy but I think it’s perfect.  If you’d done it the traditional way it would have driven you nuts.  You’re the kind of person who needs to do things quickly.”

“Well, I definitely did that…” I chuckled.  “It’s true though, I kind of like the fact that we’re sort of learning as we go.  A few months ago I wouldn’t have been able to tell you what it was like to have to balance writing a book while raising a baby.  Now, it’s my reality and I just do it because it’s what I have to do.  And I love it.”

“Just tell me you and Kevin are still having mind-blowing sex… It would break my heart to hear you’d fallen into the dry spell.”

I laughed, “No dry spell in sight, trust me.  We’ve become pros at quickies during Max’s naps and quiet rendezvous so not to wake him up at night.  We do appreciate when Mama offers to sit for a weekend though and we can have uninterrupted adult time.”

“I have to say… Kevin as a dad is one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen…” Christian said and fanned himself.

I laughed, “Right?  He’s such a natural at it too.  I still think about that stupid ex whore of his and wonder how she couldn’t want this with him.  I mean, I get that some people just don’t want to be parents.  But to know how much Kev wanted it and then to just flat out lie to him about it… I just don’t get it.”

“Well that’s because you have a heart and she clearly doesn’t.  She may have loved Kevin but she didn’t really, really love him if she could hurt him so easily.”

I nodded, “Yeah… I can’t imagine ever wanting to do anything that I know would hurt him so bad.  I’d rather tell him the truth than lie and get his hopes up over and over again.”

“He’s a lucky guy…”

“I’m a lucky girl.”

“Who would’ve thought all those years ago when we met in Psychology class that we’d end up like this, huh?”

“Not me…” I laughed.  “I figured I’d be teaching English somewhere by now and grading papers.  Not writing novels and living with a pop star while raising one of the most adorable babies ever.”

“And I’m a housewife living with a famous chef who is nearly twice my age…” he said and giggled.

“You’re an awesome uncle too, of course.”

“Of course!  I wish Sean could be here, but I’m glad I’m able to stand in.”

I rubbed my locket between by thumb and finger and smiled, “Yeah, me too.  I think he’s around though.  Sometimes I’ll watch Max and he’ll be laying there on the floor just babbling and giggling like he’s having a great conversation with someone but no one is there.  I have to think that it’s him.  Either that or my kid is just weird.” 

“Well… his mom is kind of special…” he teased. 

I shook my head, “Poor kid is doomed…”

“Nah… he’s going to end up just fine.  I think we all are.  We’re all just learning as we go along, doing the best we can with what we’ve got.”

I smiled, “We’ve got a whole lot of awesome…”

“Yes we do,” he said with a smile.