Leah’s Point of View

When I woke up, AJ wasn’t next to me. It made me feel alone. I needed him by my side in order to stay strong. Life was only going to get harder. I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I had no choice. It was time to face my demons and move on with the life I wanted to live.

I got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. My body was achy so I decided to take a bubble bath. Once the water was ready I eased myself into the tub. My body started to relax, but my mind was working overtime.

“Leah, where are you?”  I heard AJ call from the bedroom.

“I’m in the bathroom.”

A minute later AJ walked into the bathroom. I could see that he was in a bad mood. Something told me that I wasn’t going to be thrilled with what he was going to say.

“Brian’s downstairs. He wants to talk to you.” He sat on the side of the tub. “You don’t have to talk to him. I can go tell him to fuck off.”

“That’s okay. I would rather get things over with and move on. Tell Brian I will be down in about ten minutes.” I smiled at AJ. He was my future. “I want to be with you.”

“I love you, L-bug. See you in a few.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and left.

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Brian was sitting on the couch looking dejected. My heart was breaking for him. I slowly walked down the stairs.

“Brian.” I got his attention as I sat down. He looked at me but didn’t say anything. “AJ said you wanted to talk.”

“Yeah.” He ran his fingers through his hair. I could tell that he was nervous. “Why?”

“I didn’t set out to hurt you Brian. I do care about you.”

“I just want to know why.” He shifted uncomfortably.

I composed myself before I spoke. “Deep down I never fell out of love with AJ. I channeled that love into hatred. That’s why I stayed away from him all these years. When I came on tour all those feelings resurfaced.”

“Did you ever love me?” He looked at me with disgust. I couldn’t blame him.

“Yes. Brian you came into my life at time when I was ready to move on with my life. You taught me how to love again. I still care about you, Bri.” I moved next to him. My hand went to his face. Slowly he backed away.

“Don’t.” He stated harshly.

“I didn’t plan on this happening.” Tears started to fall. Damn the pregnancy hormones for turning me into a human fountain. “It wouldn’t be fair to either of us if we stayed together. We would end up hating each other and I don’t want that. I had given up on love until you taught me what love was.”

“And look where it got me.” He laughed bitterly. “I never thought you would be the one to screw me over. After what Leighanne did to me, I didn’t think you be such a cold hearted bitch.”

“I never set out to hurt you intentionally. Brian, you have been such an important person in my life. I’ll always have a place for you in my heart.”

“But why AJ?”

“The heart what the heart wants. I need to be with him. If you truly love me, then you’ll let me go.”

“What about my heart? Did you even care to think about my feelings?” He asked bitterly.

“Brian, since the tour I thought about it more than you’ll ever know. Please don’t make me out to be a cold-hearted bitch. Never in my wildest dreams did I plan on this happening. I took your feelings in consideration because deep down I don’t think you’re in love with me either.” I finally put the thoughts I was feeling out in the open.

“How can you say that?” He stared at me with a perplexed look.

“Oh, Brian.” I scooted near him. “Don’t take it that way, please. I know that we both loved each other, but to say we were in love with each other would be a lie. We both settled when it came to love.” I hated making him feel like shit, but I needed to honest.

“How dare you?” He said spitefully. “I’ve given you everything.”

“You’ve been good to me. I won’t deny that.”

“Then what does AJ have that I don’t.”

How could I tell him without crushing his heart more than I already was? This was killing me. Brian deserved to be loved by someone who could him with all his heart.

“Brian, please don’t make me go there.” I pleaded with him. “You taught me how to love again. I know you can do so much better than me. You deserve a woman who thinks you make the stars twinkle just for her.”

“I thought I found her, but I guess I was wrong.” He frowned at me.

“Brian, don’t.  I already feel guilty enough; you just want me to hurt more.”

“You’re damn right. I want you to feel as bad as I do right now.”  He stared at the carpet. He wasn’t able to look me.

“Fine, Brian. You want to know what AJ has that you don’t, I’ll tell you. He accepts me for who I am faults and all. He doesn’t control me. I am allowed to be myself. AJ understands my screw ups. He gets me better than I get myself.”

Brian sat quietly for a few minutes. His face was unreadable. I was scared to know what he was thinking.

Brian cupped my face and moved closer to me. He kissed me and pressed his forehead to mine. “As much as I love you, I won’t stand in your way. It kills me to see you with him. ”

“Thank you Brian.”

“I just want to see you happy.” He stood up and walked out of the house. I sat on the couch my eyes brimming with tears.  AJ walked into the living room and sat beside me.

“Is everything okay?”  He asked in concern.

“Yes. No. I don’t really know.” I leaned against him. He put his arms around me and I was safe.

“How did Brian take it?”

“Not well, but that was to be expected.” I played with AJ’s shirt.

“I know I wouldn’t like it if you chose another man over me.”

“Can we stop talking about it?” My head was hurting. “We still need to talk to Eden.”

“I think we should give her until tomorrow. I don’t think either of us could handle her temper at the moment.” We both laughed. Eden had both of our tempers. She didn’t show it much, but when she did it was scary.

“That is probably a good idea. I can’t deal with her throwing another tantrum.  Do you think we should wait to tell her about the pregnancy?” I looked up at AJ. He kissed my forehead.

“I think that would be for the best.”

Before he knew it, I straddled AJ’s lap. Our lips met and crushed into each other. As his tongue entered my mouth, my hands moved under his shirt. I was so into AJ that I forgot about everything in my life. His hands cupped my ass causing me to grind into his hardening erection.

“Hmmphf.” Eden stomped past the couch and sat on the chair. “Can you please stop for two freaking minutes?”

I got off of AJ’s lap and sat down next to him. “Eden…”

“Just stop mom. I’m stilled pissed and don’t feel like discussing anything with you or dad.  Can you both just cool it when I’m around? I can’t stand to see you that way.”

“We’ll cool it off in front of you, but you have to treat us with respect at all times.” AJ told his daughter.

“Fine.” She flipped on the television and ignored us. I hoped that things would get better, but I had a feeling they would only get worse.