2

I loved nights off, but I hated when on our nights off we were required by management to go out together. It wasn't like I hated my band mates or anything like that, but sometimes I just wanted to get away from them. Day in and day out we traveled together, performed together, and practically pissed together… every now and then I needed time to myself. We were in Chicago though, and Chicago meant going out to a club, as a group because going out as a group meant publicity. Like we needed the god damn extra publicity. We were already all over the news.

"Positive publicity, AJ…" That's what they told me when I complained about wanting time alone on nights off. Going out as a group was considered positive publicity and management thought we needed more of it. It wasn't enough that after I spent a few years getting on and falling off the wagon that I was clean, for real. It wasn't enough that in the middle of making successful solo careers for ourselves we got back together to do "one more album" to send Backstreet off with a bang instead of the painful thud that the Black & Blue tour seemed to give off. And it certainly wasn't enough that we were kicking ass on the charts like we did with Millennium, we still "needed" that positive publicity.

So we went out. We had dinner as a group, and then went to a club as a group. Sitting in VIP with fans everywhere trying to do everything they could do to get past security just for a glimpse of us, and most if not all of us wishing that we were back in our respective hotel rooms getting some extra sleep or doing anything other than sitting in that club. We were bored out of our minds, but getting all sort of positive publicity.

I yawned and leaned in toward Nick who also happened to be yawning, "How much longer before we can jet? This place is lame. I could be in my room watching Trading Spaces or something…"

Nick laughed at me, "Dude, you so need to lay off the Trading Spaces thing. I can't believe that you of all people are complaining about being in a club full of beautiful women because you want to go back to the hotel and watch some damn home decorating show."

I shrugged and finished my soda then lit up a cigarette, "I'm bored with clubs. Plus, they're doing a marathon tonight of the episodes where the people hated the rooms. Those are funny."

Shaking his head Nick smiled and patted my knee, "I don't know about you sometimes, man. But I love ya'. I'm goin' to dance. Get out of here if you're bored. I'll cover for you, tell them you feel like shit or something."  I watched Nick stand up and finish the rest of his drink before smiling down at me, "Have fun watching your little show…"

"Blow me…" I laughed and flipped him off.

"No thanks, but I bet you that there are about twenty girls down on the main floor who would."

"Just twenty?" I joked.

"Yeah, the rest are here for me…" he said with a smirk. "I may still be the youngest, but I'm not a kid anymore. Later…"

"Yeah, later…" I said shaking my head at him with a smile. I watched the crowd for a while and finally when I'd yawned about six times in a row and finished my cigarette, I decided to call it quits. "Fuck it… Trading Spaces and room service have got to be better than this."