It was a cold dark, dang night. I couldn't sleep. I would get too hot one minute, and then cold the next, I couldn't stop crying. Everything hurt from what they had done to me. I couldn't stop my tears, my fears, my lack of eating, then over eating, and my heart ache.

As I got out of bed to open the window. I looked at the church near our house. It was an old Catholic church with a Stain glass Jesus with sheep. I thought how could Nick, BSB, and NKOTB have lead me to this?

I sat back on my bed and began to cry again. 'This was going to be a long, hard week'. I thought. Then began to pray to God and Jesus again and then I thought of how it all began.

"Ok will you give me another chance please, Nick?" I heard myself saying as I re-lived the memory in my dream that night. "No" Nick told me. "But I apologized. I gave Howie 20 bucks, come on!" I begged him at work in my office for a cleaning company as a secretary. "No" he said as he shoowed me off.