My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Twelve

                AJ pulled away and placed his hands on the side of her face as she cried.  “Sweetheart, look at me.” He said.  “This is not your fault, all the tests came back, there was nothing wrong and it was just something really unfortunate.” He told her.  “The Doctors told you this is not your fault.”

“But it is I am his Mother, I was supposed to protect him.” Chelsea said angrily. “Not a bunch of wires, tubes and a plastic box.”

“He still needs you.” AJ told her. “He still needs his Mom there, to tell him everything will be ok, to watch over him every day, to hold him in your arms and keep him safe.” AJ said as Chelsea began to calm.  “You have to stop blaming yourself sweetheart, this wasn’t your fault.  You did everything you were supposed to.” He said and she scoffed a little.  “He needs you to be strong.”

Chelsea took a deep breath and exhaled.

“Do you wanna come back later?” AJ asked.

“No” She said as her eyes closed.  “No, I can do this.” She took another breath.  “I can do this.”

The couple got ready again and then headed back into the room.  AJ rolled her up to the incubator and locked the wheelchair in place.  When he glanced up he caught everyone looking at them through the window.  They looked a little confused and worried, so he gave them a gentle wave letting them know things were ok, for now.  He pulled a chair beside her and took her hand as the Nurse explained to Chelsea what everything is for.  She shook all the way through, her hand never once releasing its grip.

“Would you like to hold him now?” The Nurse asked and Chelsea looked at her in shock.

“H-hold him?” Chelsea replied unsure.

“Yes” The Nurse nodded.  “When you can hold him close to your heart and skin, it allows him to pick up the bond he has with you.  It’s been proven that preemies who are held by their mom or father have a stronger chance of surviving than ones who stay incubated.” 

“I-I don’t know” Chelsea replied as she looked at the baby.  “Is it safe to take him out?”

“Right now we’ll keep him wrapped and secure to protect the skin from to much moisture, when he gets a little older then we can do the skin to skin but he has no under lining health problems, many preemie Doctors prefer  to do this, the bonding they get from it is a huge positive.”

“Alright” Chelsea said.

“You sure?” He whispered to her knowing how she was just a couple of minutes ago.  Chelsea nodded but her eyes didn’t break from the baby.

“Hold him like this ok?” The Nurse said as she handed Chelsea her son.  AJ noticed his wife took a deep breath as Logan was set in her arms but AJ smiled.  He knew his smile was ear to ear seeing the two of them together.  He took a moment and then reached into his pocket; he pulled out his phone and set it to camera.  Taking a couple of steps back he lined the two up on the screen and then took a picture.

“We’ll do two minutes once a day and then in a few weeks we’ll do two minutes twice a day usually in the morning and at night.”  She told them.  “Now if something does happen while you’re holding him don’t panic, I will come over and check him, maybe something slipped off or it might be more serious but the important thing is not to panic ok?”

“Ok” Chelsea replied with a nervous nod.

The nurse lightly smiled at them and then walked over to a counter and began writing something.  AJ looked at Chelsea and Logan and a wave of calmness came over him.  He turned a little and looked out the window.  Everyone was standing around, they waved and he lightly waved back. 

“How you doing?” He asked when he looked at back at her.

“I’m ok right now” She replied but didn’t move her eyes from her little boy.  “Oh do you want to hold him?” She asked finally looking at him.

“No its ok this is your time.” He replied as he put his hand on her leg.

“Are you sure?” She asked.

AJ lightly laughed. “Yes sweetheart.”

When the nurse came over to put Logan back into the incubator AJ was kind of glad.  He really didn’t want something whether major or not, to happen while Chelsea was holding him for the first time.  Trying to get her to see none of this was her fault was hard enough.

“So did you want to stay longer or did you want to go back to your room.” He asked her.

“I want to stay” She said.

“Ok” He replied with a light smile.

AJ grabbed a chair and sat down next to his wife.  He held her hand and stared at her as her eyes stayed locked on their son.  The two didn’t say much to each other but they didn’t need to.  The way they held each others hand, the look in their eyes when they would quickly glance at each other and the gentle kisses on the temple said more than words ever could. 

When AJ looked down at his watch he was surprised to see it was after lunch.  He looked at Chelsea and she was still staring adoringly at Logan.  He looked out the window and saw that no one was there.  A frown came over his face wondering where everyone had gone too.

“Are you hungry?”  He asked Chelsea when he looked back to her.

“Yeah but I don’t want to go.” She replied with a small frown.

Just then one of the machines started buzzing.  Both AJ and Chelsea jumped and then looked at the incubator.  The nurse hurried over and began looking at the machine that was buzzing and now beeping.

“What’s going on?” Chelsea asked and then the door to the room opened and Doctor Lane came into the room. 

“Chelsea I’m going to ask you to step out for a minute ok? Just so we have some room.” The Doctor said to them.

“What’s going on?” Chelsea asked as AJ grabbed the back of her wheelchair.  She leaned over to get a better look now that people were blocking her view.  “Why is she opening the incubator, what’s going on, tell me what is wrong with my son?” Chelsea asked as her and AJ left the room.

“Chels let them check it out ok?” AJ said as he stopped her.

“Go to the window.” Chelsea told him.

“Just wait here and she…” AJ stopped when Chelsea stood up.  A gasp of pain broke from her lips.  “Chels.” He replied as he reached up and grabbed her arms.

“Take me to the window.” She demanded but let him sit her back down.

“No” AJ replied.  “We are going to stay right here and wait for the Doctor.” AJ told her.  He didn’t want to walk her over there and end up seeing something that would upset her more, making him more upset.  He was barely hanging on by a thread as it was. 

“He has to be ok, he has to be.” Chelsea whispered.

“We don’t know anything yet sweetheart, it could be something as simple as one of the heart monitor pads fell off, we don’t know so please don’t get yourself all worked up yet.” AJ told her as he placed his hand on the side of her cheek.

“Guys?” He heard Kevin say and he turned around.  “Everything ok?”

“We’re not sure.” AJ told him as he stood up.  “One of the machines started going off and Doctor Lane asked us to wait out here.”

“Did you need to get some air or something?” Kevin asked.

“I could go for a smoke.” AJ sighed. “But I want to wait and see what the Doctor says first.”

“Where’s Nadia?” Chelsea asked after a moment of silence.

“We figured you two were going to be a bit so Mom and Kris took her shopping.” Kevin said as AJ sat down on a chair against the wall.

The three sat there waiting, wondering as each minute past what was going on in the room.  AJ knew Chelsea was getting restless by the way she gently shook her leg and would bite a nail here and there.  With a deep breath AJ rested his head against the wall.

“Are you ok?” Chelsea said and he looked up.  He looked beside him and saw Kevin was reading something on the hallway wall. 

“Yeah” He replied as he looked back at her.  “Just worried, wondering what’s taking so long.”

“Do you feel dizzy or anything?”  She asked

He looked at her confused.  “No, why?”

“I just wanted to make sure the stress wasn’t getting your blood pressure up to high.” She said

AJ reached up and ran his hand down the back of her head and smiled.  “I’m good.”  He then leaned in and gently kissed her on the temple.

“Are you sleeping ok?” She asked as he started to sit back.

His mind raced back to the night before when he was lying awake and heard Nadia crying.  “Yeah, yeah I’ve been sleeping ok.”

“Okay?” Chelsea asked her eyebrow slightly rose.  “Well I guess I should be happy you’re sleeping at all.”  AJ smiled and lightly laughed at her comment. 

He looked at her and wondered if he should tell her.  No, not now, not until after they find out about Logan, she’s still far too upset.  He didn’t want her to worry at all about Nadia; he could handle Nadia her focus needed to be on getting herself better.

“I’m fine really.” He told her with a light smile.

The door to the room opened and Doctor Lane came out.  She closed the door behind her and then looked over at the couple.  AJ stood up right away trying to read the expression on the Doctors face.   Was it good was it bad? He couldn’t tell.  Chelsea hand wrapped tightly around his and he looked down quickly. 

“He’s ok for now.” She said and AJ sighed, the grip on his hand got tighter for a second and then loosened.  “We believe he’s suffering from patent ductus arteriosus. Prior to birth, the ductus arteriosus connects the two main arteries leaving the baby's heart-the pulmonary artery, which pumps blood to the lungs, and the aorta, which pumps blood to the rest of the body. The ductus usually closes when the baby is born, separating the two arteries. In premature babies, however, the ductus arteriosus may remain open causing extra blood to be pumped through the lungs in the first days of life.”

“Is that what happened?” Chelsea asked.

“Yes” Doctor Lane nodded.  “But we were able to clear his lungs and we now have him on medication called indomethacin.  This medicine causes the ductus arteriosus to close. Greater than eighty percent of premature babies who have an open ductus arteriosus improve with this treatment.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” AJ asked.

“If it remains open and symptomatic, an operation to close the duct may be required.” She told them.  “But one thing at a time…”  Doctor Lane looked down at her notes and then back at them.  “He’s resting now and you should do the same.” She said looking at Chelsea.  “Try not to worry too much alright?”

“Okay” AJ replied with a light smile.

Doctor Lane left them and headed to the nurses station.  AJ knelt down beside Chelsea.  “Ready to go?” He asked.  “I’m sure your lunch is waiting for you.”  Chelsea nodded and he stood up, grabbing the back of the wheelchair. 

“So did you guys understand what she was talking about?” Kevin asked as they walked down to Chelsea’s room.

“I think that ductus thingy was suppose to close when he was born but because he was premature it didn’t.  Which meant blood was filling his lungs, so they are giving him medication that will help it close.”

“Well that’s good that it’s something that is fixed with meds.” Kevin replied.

AJ gave Kevin a smile but he remembered the words the Doctor said.  If it didn’t close they were most likely going to have to operate.   It seemed to be one thing after another, the baby being borned early, worrying about Nadia and now things for Logan are up in the air.  His thoughts started to over whelm him and he stopped dead in the hallway.

“You alright man?” Kevin asked as he turned around.  AJ looked up at him and then down at Chelsea who turned slightly in her chair and looked at him.

“I…” He paused.  “I think I’m going to go for the smoke now, can you take her back to her room.”

“Alex are you ok?” Chelsea asked.

“Yeah sweetheart I’m fine.” He said trying to be as normal as possible as he moved from the wheelchair.  “I’ll meet you in your room.”

“Alright” Chelsea replied as he gave her a quick kiss and then headed down the other hall towards the elevators.  All he needed was a little air and everything would calm down.