My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Thirteen

                AJ stood on the pier as he watched the water below crashing into the wooden pillars. With a flick of his fingers he sent the ashes out into the wind.  He looked up and saw the sun was getting close to the Ocean line.  Letting out a deep breath he sighed, thinking about what brought him here.  How he was only going out for a cigarette and ended up down on the pier in Malibu.  He just needed to get away if only for a few ours.  It felt like the walls were closing in, like he roof was coming down, and the air was being sucked out of the room he stood in. He was trying so hard to stay calm, to stay focused for Chelsea but he was starting to find it to hard.

“I need a drink.” He mumbled to himself.

Yeah just one drink that’s all he needed something to put his mind back into focus.  He took a drag from his cigarette and held it in and then exhaled blowing the smoke out.  His eyes darted down and he saw his smoke was almost out.  Pinching it between his thumb and pointer he flicked the butt out into the Ocean.  As he turned back to walk down the pier to the parking lot his cell phone went off.  He was actually surprised that this was the first time it rang since he had been gone.  Pulling the phone from his pocket he flipped it over and looked at the screen.  It told him it was Kevin’s phone.  Pressing on the screen as he put the phone to his ear he answered.

“Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Chelsea’s voice asked on the other end.

“Yeah I’m fine.” He replied as he slowly walked down the wooden path.

“Are you sure because I asked before you answer yeah I’m fine and then took off.” She replied.

“I know sweetheart and I thought I was but when I got outside, I just…I just had to get away and clear my head for a few.” He told her.

“Where did you go?” She asked.

“Down to the piers.”

“In Mali?” She asked a little surprised.

“Yeah, I was just getting ready to head back when you called.”  He told her.

There was a pause and then she spoke.  “Have you been…”

He cut her off.  “No Chels.  Just needed to get away.”

“So you’re coming back now?” Chelsea asked.

“Yes.” AJ replied.  “I see our car now.”

“Okay” She replied.  “I love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart.” He said then he waited for the click and then hung up the phone.

AJ got into his car and headed back to the hospital.  It was nice to get away, even though it was unplanned.  Although now came the guilt.  The guilt of not letting Chelsea know, like his wife didn’t have enough things to worry about.  Then he wondered if he was being selfish.   He pulled into a Coffee Bean and grabbed his usual but as he pushed on the door to leave the coffee shop something happened that he was not expecting.

AJ stopped dead and stared at the person in front of him.  “Dad” He spoke his voice barely a whisper and for a moment the three year old boy came back, glad to see his Father but then the memories returned, the pain returned.  Only there was a new feeling this time, the feeling of almost losing his son. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” AJ said and he could tell his Dad was taken off guard by the anger.

“I heard about what happened and…” His Father started to say but AJ knew what he was going to say.

“…and you wanted to come and say how sorry you are.” AJ snapped.  “How we should use this as a sign for us to work on our relationship, sound about right?” He asked as he moved past the man.  “I’ve heard this shit before.”

“Look Alex…” Again he interrupted him.

“No you look!” AJ yelled as he spun around.  “Two days ago my whole world almost came crashing down.  Two days ago I almost lost my son.” His Father showed no emotion as he continued yelling.  “The thought of almost losing him, kills me inside, it hurts, it’s scary, and I hate feeling it. So I have to ask myself when I see you standing here, pretending to give a shit.  How pathetic of a person do you have to be to lose your son by choice?” He then turned to his car and put his key into the lock.

“I didn’t come here to fight.” His Dad replied.

“Well what the fuck did you think was going too happened, huh?” He yelled as he got into his car and slammed the door shut.  “The last time I saw you was in fucking Paris, two years ago!”  AJ slammed the car into reverse and squealed out of his spot.

When he got to the Hospital he was still fuming over the encounter at the coffee shop.  He stormed his way upstairs and down the hall.  He paid no attention to Kevin and Anne in the hallway as he walked into Chelsea’s room.

“There you ar…what’s wrong?” Chelsea asked as he sat down in the chair beside her bed.

“You’ll never fucking guess who I ran into at the fucking Coffee Bean.” AJ snapped.

Chelsea sighed and he looked at her.  “There’s only one person who gets you that angry.  What did he want?”

“Same fucking thing he wants every time.  Try to make it work.” AJ replied sarcastically. “Well I’m done making it work, been done since fucking Paris.  I know why he left, cause he couldn’t deal with the damn song, can’t own up to anything but when he thinks he has an easy way in, a way he can get to me without having to deal with his shit, the he comes back.”  AJ took a deep breath and looked at his wife.

He sighed.  “I’m sorry”

“Don’t be you’re mad and you have every right to be.” She said. 

AJ got up from his chair and slipped onto the bed beside him.  He took her in his arms and gently laid them back.  “But I shouldn’t bring this on you.”

“I don’t mind.” She replied.

“I hope I didn’t make you worry too much.” He said as he closed his eyes.

“I can of figured you had gone some where to get away for a bit.” She told him.  “I was worried…” She stopped.

“You were worried I was out drinking?” He asked even though he knew the answer.

She nodded.

“Well I wasn’t, I just drove around and then went to the pier.” He told her.

The door to the room opened and AJ opened his eyes.  He smiled when he saw Nadia walk in.  “Hey kiddo”

“Welcome back.” She replied as she sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed.

“Did you have fun shopping?” He asked as he gave her a look for the comment.

“Yeah, shopping with Kris is always fun.” Nadia replied and AJ frowned.  His daughter then rolled her eyes.  “Next to you of course.”

“That’s more like it.” AJ replied with a light nod and Chelsea chuckled.

“So did you tell him?” Nadia asked as she looked at Chelsea.

“Tell me what?”

“No” Chelsea replied at the same time as AJ.

“Doctor Lane said Mom should be able to go home tomorrow.” Nadia said.

AJ quickly looked at Chelsea. “Really?”

“Only if I am up too it and I’m not sure if I wanna leave Logan.” Chelsea told him.

“I think you should go home.” AJ told her.  “I know.” He said when she went to protest. “But wouldn’t you like your own shower, your own PJ’s and your own bed?” He asked. 

“Yeah you’ll be more relaxed at home and you’ll sleep better, which means you’ll be better for Logan.” Nadia told her.

“And this is why they say she has your smarts.” AJ replied looking at Chelsea, his wife lightly smiled.  “We’ll get up and have breakfast, we’ll go the Hospital, we’ll spend a few hours with him and then we’ll go home. We’ll have a nice dinner relax and do it all over again the next and the day after that, until we bring him home.”

The three of them started talking about bringing Chelsea home but before they could get too far into the conversation the sounds of shouting outside of the room took their attention.  AJ got up off of the bed and walked over to the door.  When he opened it the voice broke through the room.

“You got a lot of nerve showing up here man.” Kevin snapped and AJ looked at his Dad.

“I just want to talk.” His Dad said sounding like a broken record.

“This really isn’t the place.” Anne spoke up.

“You really need to go home.” AJ said and the three people in the hall looked at him.

“Alex please don’t be angry with me you need to let this go so…”

“Do you want me to go get security?” Kevin asked.

“Yes” AJ replied.

“Coo” Kevin said as he turned to walk down the hallway.

“Fine.” Bob said as he put his hands in the air. “I’ll g…” His Dad stopped and stared.  At first AJ thought he was staring at him but then he realized his Dad was staring past him.  He looked over his shoulder and saw Nadia.  AJ closed the door and it broke his Dad’s stare.

“Is that…”

“Forget it.” AJ said sternly.  “I’ll be damn if I let you do to her what you did to me.”

His Dad stared at him, the expression on his face showed anger, frustration and then it went blank.  He watched as his Dad walked down the hall and disappeared as the door closed behind him.  Turning his head he looked back at Kevin and Anne who looked at him with sympathetic eyes.

“Number One Dad.” He replied sarcastically as he turned and opened the door to Chelsea’s room.

“Everything ok?” Chelsea asked.

“He’s gone.” AJ told her.

“That was your Dad?” Nadia asked him.

“Yup” AJ replied as he looked from the ground to Chelsea.

“How come he’s here?” She asked.

“He does this when something happens to me, he tries to come back into my life and make things right.  Thinking I would forgive and forget everything that’s happened.” AJ told her.

“When was the last time you saw him?” Nadia asked.

“A couple of Months after we found your Mom, he flew out to Paris to see one of my shows.” AJ said as he stood up.

“Where are you going?” Chelsea asked.

“For a smoke” He told her but he saw the look on her face.  “I swear.  I’ll bring Kevin with me.”  Chelsea lightly smiled at him.  “I’ll be back.” He said before he walked out the door.

Chelsea watched the door close and then she looked down at her blankets.  She hated seeing him like this and she didn’t mean his anger.  Whether his Father would show up or not show up or just the mere mention of his name would irritate him like this. She looked up when her daughter spoke.

“So if his Dad doesn’t care why spend all that money to go to Paris and see him?” Nadia asked.

“I think that’s a question your Dad often asks himself.” Chelsea replied to her.

“Why doesn’t he just ask him then?” She asked.

Chelsea looked at her daughter and she lightly laughed at herself.  She wondered if this was how she made people feel with her questions when she was Nadia’s age.  “Your Dad and his Dad have a very fragile relationship.” She told her.  “A lot of it has to do with the fact your Gran…” She paused catching herself.  “It has a lot to do with the fact Bob won’t own up to walking out on your Dad and for not being there.  He blames your Grandma, your Great Grand parents; he would probably even try the blame the Pope if it fit the story.”

“You don’t like him either?” Nadia asked as she curled up in the chair.

“It’s not that I don’t like him, I don’t know him.  When he showed up in Paris I was in Kentucky.  Before that was when we were about fifteen sixteen and he hadn’t heard from him since he was about eight.” She told her.  “All I knew of him was what your Dad told me and even then it wasn’t much because he didn’t remember much.”  Chelsea paused and thought back.  “I can only imagine what went on in your Dad’s head the day he showed up at Bob’s house when he was eighteen and saw everything.”

“What did he see?” Nadia asked.

Chelsea looked at her.  “Backstreet.” Nadia looked at her weird.  “He had magazines, pictures, posters, articles, and even concert tickets.”

“Bummer” Nadia sighed.

“Yeah” Chelsea nodded.  “From that moment Bob was all about your Dad until he went into rehab and then the spot light started to fade, the group took a break, and Bob stopped calling, stopped visiting and that was that.”

“Did he tell you this?”

“Yeah, Kevin’s told me a bunch of stuff too.” Chelsea said. “Your Dad does talk to me about it, when it is bothering him but he doesn’t go into detail.”  She looked down at her wedding ring.

“Well Dad didn’t like it when his Dad was looking at me.” Nadia said.

“Is that why he closed the door?” Chelsea asked and Nadia nodded.

“Can I ask you something?” Nadia spoke up after a moment of silence.

“Sure”

“I over heard Kevin telling Anne that you were asking Dad about his blood pressure and Kevin was really confused on why you were so concerned over it.”  She told her.  “Is Dad ok?”

“Yeah he’s fine.” Chelsea told her.  “When he went for his physical before the tour his Doctor said his blood pressure was a little high and he pinned it down to being stress.”

“How come you never said anything before?” Nadia asked.

“It’s not life threatening just something your Dad needed to pay attention to, so we figured there wasn’t any need to and with Logan and everything I just wanted to make sure he was ok.”  

“Well you should say something to Kevin cause he’s kind of freakin’ out.” Nadia said with a light laugh.

Chelsea chuckled.  “He does that when he worries.”