My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Twenty

                AJ stood at the back sliding doors in the kitchen as he watched Chelsea.  She was sitting on the patio chair smoking.  He frowned when she lowered her head and slid her fingers through her hair; something had her very agitated and she had been this way since Nadia woke up screaming.  She scrunched up her hair, lowered head a little more and then let go as she went for another drag.  He sighed as he watched her lips move for a couple of seconds.  When he heard footsteps behind him he turned around.

“Hey darling, how are you doing?” He asked when he saw Nadia.

“Fine” She mumbled as she sat down.

He walked over to the table and sat down across from her, when he did she looked over at the window.  The officer came and took her statement.  She told him about what happened with Helens boyfriend and then she told him about what happened with Helen herself.  Being left alone for days on end, having to find food for herself, waking up for school to find strange men in the house, and the endless verbal abuse.  No wonder she felt safer with them, was happier with them, and no wonder she let it all happen.  She wanted out of there whether they were her parents or not.

“She’s smoking again huh?” Nadia asked as she looked back to him.

“Yeah” AJ replied as his eyes darted to the door.

“I’m sorry she missed her appointment.” She said.

AJ reached across the table and touched her hand.  “Don’t be, you’re more important to us right now.”

“Is Mom ok?” She asked him.

“Yeah, yeah she’s fine” AJ told her.

“You don’t lie very well.” Nadia replied in a mumble loud enough so AJ could hear.

“No, no I don’t” He sighed remembering all the times he got in trouble because of that fact. None of which he will tell his daughter about.  “She’s fine hun really, she’s a little upset about what you told us today and she’s just outside getting some air.” He told her hoping he sounded more truthful.

“Do you care if I go chill in my room?” Nadia asked.

“Yeah go ahead” AJ replied with a nod.

AJ watched as his Daughter left the room, he listened as she walked up the stairs and when her bedroom door closed he looked out the back window.  He strummed his fingers along the table and then stood up from his chair.  He walked over to his back patio doors and opened it.  Chelsea looked up as the doors whooshed open; she started wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater, and sat back in the chair.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes.  “I’m missing one” He said without even looking. 

Chelsea’s head was low and it didn’t move as only her eyes darted up to look at him and then she looked away, looking back down to the pavement.   He sat down on the chair beside her as he dropped his pack of smokes on the table and lit one up for himself. 

“Where’s Nadia?” Chelsea asked quietly.

“In her room” AJ replied as he blew out the smoke from his lungs.  “So if you wanna talk…”

“About what?” Chelsea mumbled. “About how horrible of a Mother I am.”

“Chels” AJ sighed

“It’s all my fault she went through all of that.” Chelsea said as she started to cry again.

“If it’s your fault than it’s my fault too.” AJ told her and she looked at him with a little bit of shock.

“You didn’t even know she existed.” Chelsea told him.

“And you were being held captive by your Father, you couldn’t even leave the mattress you slept on let alone chase after her.” AJ said and then he took another drag.  “I don’t know what I can do to make you see none of this, what happened to Nadia, what happen to Logan is not your fault.”

“You can’t” Chelsea replied.  “You weren’t suppose to be the one protecting them, you weren’t the one that failed them.”

“So what…” AJ replied.  “What am I suppose to do, let you mope around here, smoking all my cigarettes…”

“I’ll get my fucking own if they mean that much too you!” Chelsea snapped at him as she jumped up from her chair and sent it toppling over.  For a second he saw pain etch across her eyes and then they flared up with anger.

“Chelsea” AJ said stunned.

“There’s nothing you can do ok?” She yelled as her finger jetted out in front of her pointing at him.  He sat there frozen he had never seen her this mad especially at him. “You think you or some Doctor can ask me questions that I haven’t already asked myself?!  You want me to deal so let me fucking deal and stop hounding me!”

“Chelsea May Stanley!” Someone’s voice bellowed out from behind them.  Chelsea spun around and AJ quickly leaned over his eyes darting right to the back doors.  There standing outside of them was Kevin, Kristin, Mason, and Anne, and it was Anne that busted out the full name.  His eyes went back to Chelsea her breathing was heavy, she was lightly shaking and she stared at the woman.  “Get into this Kitchen now” He heard Anne say and as she said the words Chelsea turned to look at him.  Her eyes were filled to the lids with tears that hadn’t fallen yet but they showed anger and rage and it burned him like a branding iron.  As she turned the tears fell and she walked across the patio.  She said nothing to Kevin and Kristin as she walked past them and she said nothing to Anne as she walked past her.  Kevin’s Mom followed her inside and closed the patio door.

His eyes finally broke from her but only because he couldn’t see her anymore.  The sun reflecting made it hard to see through the glass.  He sat there in awe at what had just happened.  Never had he seen her that mad but that mad at him? 

“What the hell was that about?” Kevin asked.

AJ just shook his head; he still needed a minute to absorb what had just happened.  Everything replayed back in his mind, her jumping up from the chair, the screaming, the anger and he put his head in his hands.  He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair.

“Alex?” Kevin said.  AJ sighed as he sat back grabbing a smoke from his pack.

“We found out why Nadia’s been having the nightmares.” AJ told him and then it hit him.  “I think….Chelsea needs help Kevin.” He said as he looked at Kevin with tears in his eyes.  “I can’t help her through this.”

“What did Nadia tell you?” Kevin asked and with a deep breath and a wipe of his eyes AJ told him.  Telling him everything that had happened in the kitchen, Nadia waking up screaming, what she told them, and then what she told the Officer. 

“She’s still talking to herself which I could only assume means she’s still hearing her Dad.”  AJ said as he put out his cigarette.  “And she’s still smoking, not by my permission, she’s stealing them outta my packs.”  He then sat up in his chair and took a deep breath.  “Our Daughter needs at least one of us there right now, Chelsea doesn’t want me around, and she doesn’t want me helping her with this…”

“Alex she’s upset…” Kevin spoke up but AJ put up his hand.

“You didn’t see her eyes Kevin; I know that woman and I have never seen her like that.” AJ said as he started to get choked up.  “Something is seriously wrong; this is more than being upset.  When Chelsea wants to be left alone?  Alone Kevin”

“Yeah” Kevin nodded and AJ could tell by the look on his face he understood.

“I’m going to go take Nadia out somewhere, when you guys wanna head out just give me a call, I’ll start heading home.” AJ told him as he stood up.

Holding his smokes and lighter in one hand he reached for the door with the other and opened it.  When he walked into the kitchen he saw Anne, Kristin, and Chelsea all sitting at the table.  Chelsea was still very agitated and she didn’t look at him as he stood in the kitchen.

“Where’s Mason?” Kevin asked after he closed the door.

“In the living room watch TV” Kristin replied and then her eyes went to AJ.

“I’m going to go take Nadia out somewhere for a couple of hours.” He said as he looked away from Kristin’s sad eyes to Chelsea.  When she didn’t say anything he pushed back the anger trying desperately not to be angry at her over this.  He walked out of the kitchen and into the living room; Mason paid no attention his eyes locked firmly on the TV show he was watching.  AJ walked upstairs and over to Nadia’s bedroom door.  He knocked on it and waited, after a moment it opened.

“Hey” She said as she looked up at him.

“Wanna go out for a bit? Grab a bagel or something?” He asked.

“We don’t have to, I’m ok really.” Nadia told him.

“I want to; you know spend some time with my Daughter.”  AJ said in a joking tone.

She lightly smiled.  “Let me shut this off then.”

“Sweet I’ll meet ya down stairs.” AJ told her.

“Is Mom coming?” She asked as he went to turn away.

“Ah…” He froze wondering what to say. Although he was glad she obviously hadn’t heard the fighting.  “No, Kev, Kris, and Anne are here so she’s going to stay with them.”

“Is Mason here?” She asked.

“Yup” AJ nodded.

“Cool” She said as she turned around, he sighed to himself in relief she wasn’t going to press for Chelsea to come.

He walked downstairs and over to the door, grabbing his hoody, he put it on and grabbed his keys from the hook.  As he zipped up the sweater just a little bit, Nadia came skipping down the stairs.  She then turned to him as she reached the bottom.

“Just gonna go say bye to Mom” Nadia said and AJ almost stopped her but he couldn’t think of anything to say.  He held his breath as she went into the kitchen and listened intently to the conversation.

“Do you want anything?” He heard Nadia ask.

“No” Chelsea replied, even from the door he could hear the coldness in her voice and his anger meter went up a notch.

“Are you sure, Onion Bagel, with Herb and Garlic?”

“I said I’m fine Nadia” Chelsea spoke again.

“I’ll take a Frap” Kevin spoke up.

“Me too” Kristin replied and AJ sighed.

“Oh-okay” Nadia said.  “I’ll let Dad know see you guys later.” A moment later she came out of the kitchen.  “Kevin wants a Frap…”

“I know I heard” AJ said trying to push down the anger.  He opened the door for her and they both walked outside and headed to the car.

“So where did ya wanna go?” AJ asked.

“Don’t care” Nadia replied as she stared out the front window.

“Well let’s go take a walk down Robertson Boulevard and get something to drink, maybe do a little shopping.” AJ said with a light smile.

“I know Kev and everyone was there but I wish Mom came with us.” Nadia said as she looked at him.  “I guess I upset her huh?”

“You didn’t upset her; she’s just upset over the whole thing.” AJ told her as he stopped at a red light.  When the light turned green AJ pressed on the gas and the car started to move.  “Is that why you didn’t say anything?” AJ asked as he started to come to a realization as he spoke. Nadia looked at him confused.  “Because you didn’t want to upset your Mom?”

Nadia lightly shrugged.  “One of the first things she told me was about how sorry she was she couldn’t protect me; she was in the hospital and everything.” Nadia shrugged again.  “I didn’t know if you guys were really my parents besides what I felt...”

“What you felt?” AJ asked.

“When I saw Mom for the first time, I dunno it’s hard to explain what I felt but it was something.” She told him.  “And when ever you hugged me.”

“Really?” AJ asked a little surprised but it gave him a good feeling. 

Nadia nodded.  “It just felt like what a Dad’s hug would feel like.” She told him and he smiled almost got teary eyed. “And then we got the tests back and you really were my parents and I thought about what she said and how sad she was so, I didn’t say anything.”

AJ pulled into the bagel shop they went into when Cheslea first went into the hospital.  He parked the car and looked at her.

“But then Mom had Logan and for a second I thought I was going to lose her cause I didn’t know what was going on.” Nadia told him.  “I started thinking more about how things use to be and how they are now and I was worried it would end.” His Daughter took a deep breath.  “And then Logan died, Mom stopped talking, stopped eating and just stopped; now you guys are fighting…” She paused and then looked at him.

He knew at that moment he was wrong and she had heard them fighting.  “When you’re Mom remembered you she blamed herself for forgetting, for letting Helen and her Dad take you away from her. But it was never anything major.  She understood there was nothing she could have done.”  He looked out the front window.  “And remember I told you how she was blaming herself for what happened to Logan.”

“But they said they couldn’t find any reason.” Nadia told him.

AJ nodded.  “And to most people that would be good, that there was nothing wrong with them but your Mom took it as then it must have been her. Something she had done, or ate, or who knows.”

“Is that why she just shut off when Logan died?” She asked and AJ nodded.

“Sometimes when people are really upset they find a way to not deal with it.” AJ told her.

“Like you and drinking?” She asked.

“Yeah” AJ nodded.  “With your Mom it was sleeping and she was getting better.”

“Until I told her about my nightmares.” Nadia told him.  “Because now she feels like an epic failure.”

AJ couldn’t help but show a small smile.  “Yeah.”

“Are you and Mom going to break up?” Nadia asked after a moment of silence.

“No” AJ replied quickly and with confidence.  “No darling we’re not going to break up.”  He told her.  “Look at our family like a house, ok?” He told her.  “When Logan died, it was like an Earthquake and it shook the house.  There’s some damage and we need to fix it, it’s a lot of damage so it might take a while.”

“But what happens if it can’t be fixed?” She asked as she turned in her seat towards him.  “What happens if that Earthquake put a huge crack in the foundation and the house has to be torn down?” 

Damn how did she get to be so damn smart?  “Chelsea” He sighed to himself and he didn’t know how to answer her but he knew he had too.  “Then we’ll fix the foundation and rebuild.”

“But it won’t be the same house.” She said.

AJ lightly shook his head with a sigh.  “You’re to damn smart for fourteen.” 

“Whatever is going on with Mom I can deal.  Not knowing what is going on but knowing there is something wrong that doesn’t work with me.” She told him.  “I don’t like not knowing especially with you guys because…” She paused.  “That was with Helen, not knowing if she’d come home in a mood, if she’d come home at all.  Who was going to be there after school when I got up?”  AJ slowly nodded understanding what she was saying too him.

“Let’s go grab something to eat and we’ll talk.” AJ told her and she nodded as she sat back in her seat.