My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Twenty-One

February 14th 2010

                Chelsea is going down hill and she’s going fast.  The only one she’ll talk to is Nadia and even that borders on heartless, I’m trying not to get mad at her but fuck it’s so hard.  Sometimes I wanna slap her up side the head and be like wake the fuck up.  Other times I wanna just grab her in a big hug and hold her and tell her everything’s ok…I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I talked to Kevin when Nadia and I got back from our outing and he said she basically took the lecture Anne gave her and then went upstairs.  She was still up there when we got home. I took her to the councilor and nothing; she refused to talk to him.  I told him about her hearing her Father, talking to herself, her mood swings and he said right now they couldn’t do anything if she wasn’t willing to talk but if she became a danger to herself or others, than they could admit her.  My poor Chelsea, I’ve only ever seen her this broken once and that was when she was in Mexico, so I can only imagine what kind of pain she is in.  I try to remind myself it’s only been about a week since he died but with everything going on it feels like years.  It’s like she’s falling and slipping out of my grip…I dunno…I just don’t know...Right now Nadia is at Kandis’s house, the girls don’t have school tomorrow some teacher workshop.  I’m glad; she hasn’t really been out of the house since Logan died so I’m hoping some girl time with Kandis will help.  One less thing I have to worry about.

                AJ lightly tapped the back of his pen against the pages of his journal as he thought about what to write next.  His head tilted a little when he heard the echo’s of his wife shouting upstairs. A loud thump shook the ceiling above him and he looked up.  It wasn’t directly above him that was Nadia’s room.  The sound of glass breaking and things falling onto the floor sent out a muffled thunderous crash from above.  AJ threw down his pencil as he jumped up from his desk.  He heard the sound of glass smashing, Chelsea screaming with thumping foots steps and then more glass shattering.  Then directly after that a loud bang that sounded like something slamming of the wall in their room. He bolted out of the door and skipped up the stairs as he heard his wife screaming for him to help her. 

AJ erupted through the door and stopped dead in his tracks.  He didn’t even have time to see the trashed room, the broken mirror across from their bedroom floor, her shattered vanity mirror and all the debris on the floor.  No, all he saw was Chelsea on her knees, her arms held out in front of her as blood dripped down from the numerous gashes and cuts on her arm.

“Chel…” AJ couldn’t speak his throat was dry with a lump the size of a boulder in it.

“Alex help” She said when she realized he was in the room.  He hurried into the bathroom and grabbed a couple of their towels and rushed back to her.  When he went to wrap the towel around her arm, he saw that some of the wounds had glass in them.

“Jesus Christ Chelsea what did you do?” He asked as he looked at her.  Dropping the towels under her arms as she started to sob again he reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the cordless phone.  With his shaking finger pointing at the shaking phone he dialed 9-1-1.

“I just wanted him to stop to just leave me alone.” She cried.

When the operator came on the line AJ frantically gave her the information she needed to know.  Keeping her arms elevated and keeping her calm were the most important things. Her face was getting pale, she was shaking and sweating. AJ could barely listen to what the operator was telling him as his mind race with worry and fright.

 He could hear the sirens off in the distance through the open bedroom window.  Quickly he thought about the front door, was it unlocked?  Yes, yes it was unlocked.  He heard the front door open and shouted that they were upstairs.  His mind flashed back to the night in the bathroom when she fell and hit her head. 

The medics came thundering up the stairs and when the reached their bedroom AJ was moved out of the way.  His eyes broke from her for a second but it was long enough to take his attention from her to their room.  It was trashed.  Her vanity mirror was shattered, the objects on top scattered through out the room.  With pieces of glass strewed among the objects his eyes drifted over to another pile of glass only this collection of glass was from the long mirror across from their bed.

“Sir?” A man said and AJ looked at him.  “We have to take her to the ER we can’t remove the all the glass in her arms here.”

AJ nodded as the man turned around.  He looked down at his wife as the other medics helped her stand up.  They still held the towels under her arms as they walked her out of the room. He looked down at the cordless phone still in his hand and then put it to his ear.  The line was dead so he hung up.  Dropping the receiver onto his bed he walked out of the room and down the hall.  When he reached the stairs the medics had Chelsea half way down.

“Do you know what happened?” The last medic at the top of the stairs asked.

“No” AJ replied shaking his head.  He was still shocked and jolted by what had just taken place.  “I was in my office downstairs, she started yelling and then I heard banging and glass breaking.  When I got to the room she was on the floor bleeding.”

“She’s not telling us anything” The Medic told him.  “Her arms and hands are pretty bad but she missed the arteries.”

AJ swallowed hard as his chest tightened and his heart stopped for a few beats. “She’s… We… Our Son died only a couple weeks ago, she’s been having a very hard time dealing with it.  I’ve taken her to see Councilor Entra at Cedar Sinai.”

“Okay good because that’s where she’s going.” He told AJ as they walked down the stairs.

AJ followed the men and Chelsea outside.  He locked up his house and followed them to the ambulance.  They let him ride in the back with her but he wasn’t much support, seeing as he couldn’t hold her hand.  Nervously his foot shook on its toes as his arms rested on his legs.

When they got to the Hospital AJ was told the usual response about waiting outside until a Doctor came a got him. 

“Cigarette” AJ mumbled as the nurse walked away.  He reached into his pocket as he started walking towards the large sliding doors but there was nothing there.  Checking his other pockets he let out a sigh, they were sitting on his desk back home.  Then he realized he had also left his cell phone there, sitting right beside his smokes.

He walked down the hall a little bit and dropped a quarter into the phone.  He dialed Kevin’s number and waited as the phone on the other end rang.  He knew Kevin would most likely screen the call since the number was most unknown.  When the answering machine picked up he looked up at the ceiling. 

“Dude its Alex are ya there?” He spoke trying to stay calm.

The phone clicked as someone picked up.  “Hey man where are you?” Kevin asked.

“I’m at Sinai” AJ told him.

“What happened to Chelsea?” Kevin asked his voice dropped to a somber tone.

“I don’t even really know, I heard shouting, smashing glass, banging, thumping, I go running upstairs and she’s on the floor bleeding…”

“What!?” Kevin shouted into the phone.

“Our room is trashed, everything is everywhere, glass everywhere, she smashed the fuck outta the mirror and her vanity mirror.”

“Jesus Alex” Kevin replied a little breathless.

“Yeah, yeah so, so I’m like fucking freaking here” AJ said as he started to shake.  “What the fuck am I suppose to do huh? I can’t do this anymore…” He spoke as he started to cry.  “How do I tell Nadia about this?”

“Where is Nadia?” Kevin asked.

“At Kandis’s” AJ replied as he sniffed and wiped his eyes.  “Thank fucking God.”

“Yeah no shit man.” Kevin agreed.  “Do you want me to come down?” He asked.

“I-I don’t know, I don’t know if she’ll be let out, or if they’re going to keep her, I’ll call you back when I know more.”

“Are you sure? I can just come and sit with you.” Kevin said as AJ sighed.

“Fine, sure” AJ replied.

“Where’s your cell anyways?” He asked.

“Forgot it at home” AJ replied.  “I need to sit I’m gonna let you go.”

“Okay I’ll see you in a bit.” Kevin told him.

“Yeah sure” AJ replied and then hung up the phone.

AJ walked over to the chair he was sitting in before which by his luck was still empty.  He sat down with an exhausted sigh and laid his head back against the wall.  AJ sat waiting running what happened back at the house over and over in his head.  He knew he was right when he told Kevin this was it.  He wasn’t going to sit around and watch her destroy herself if she didn’t want any help.  His mind drifted back to the past week.  The mood swings, the bickering, and the out right fighting.  The look on Nadia’s face after a fight, after a bickering match, or any time her Mom would snap at her.

“Mclean?” A woman said and AJ quickly sat up.

“Yes” AJ replied to the woman as he stood up.

“Follow me please” She said as she turned towards a door.

AJ followed her and they walked through the emergency room.  Past the small rooms made from curtains, past other nurses, helpers, and Doctors. The farther down the hall he walked the louder Chelsea’s crying became.  There was a man standing outside one of the rooms and when they approached him the Nurse stopped.

“This is Mr. Mclean” The Nurse told he man that AJ figured was a Doctor.

“Thank you” The man replied as he closed a metal clip board.  He then turned to AJ.  “I would like to keep her over night for observation and then tomorrow morning I want to send her for a psychiatric evaluation.”

“Okay” AJ nodded.

“Your wife refuses to talk and she refuses to stay so I will need your signature to admit her.” The Doctor told him and AJ nodded.

“Whatever it takes to get her better.” AJ replied.

The Doctor gave him a light smile as he opened his clipboard and showed him the form he had to sign.  He handed AJ a pen and looked down at the document.  With the light sound of his wife crying behind the curtain beside him, he took a deep breath and signed the form.

“We’re still stitching her up and removing the glass from her arms.  After we get her bandaged up we’ll give her something to help her calm down and sleep a little, you can sit with her as long as you would like too.” The tall man told him and AJ nodded.  “If you want to get a Coffee or something go ahead the nurse can let you back in.”

“Okay” AJ replied as the Doctor closed his clipboard.

As AJ turned around he exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair.  He walked down the hall and out the door he entered from.  Out of habit as he walked out the large sliding doors he reached for his smokes and sighed. He didn’t care if he had them or not, he just wanted to sit and get some air.  His head was spinning and as he sat down he let out a small whimper.  Softly he cried as he sat on the bench outside, the cars whizzed by and the people walked past.  He didn’t care if they saw him and he didn’t care if they stopped to stare.

When he had calmed down he wiped his hands and sat back against the bench.  He stared at the ground his mind replaying different moments over the past couple of years and then a memory he hadn’t relived in a very long time came rushing back too him.

He sat in front of his Mom’s couch watching TV but his mind wasn’t on the show, it was on one person.  Chelsea.  Johnny called earlier in the day telling him that stuff had been canceled for a couple of days.  Kevin had to leave for a family emergency.  His Mom’s words were.

“That girl Chelsea, that’s good friends with Kevin, apparently her Dad was in jail and he escaped so Kevin went out there, I really don’t understand delaying this, it’s not like she’s his sister or anything major.” He remembered.  Reaching over to the end table he grabbed the phone, dialed Chelsea’s number in Kentucky and waited.  His mind race through excuses on why he was calling her as the phone line kept ringing.

“Hello?” Her voice said on the other line and he smiled hearing her voice.

“Hey Sweetheart are you ok, Johnny called told me about your Dad.” AJ said as he sat up and turned down the volume.  He was glad his Mom or Grandparents weren’t home right now so he could talk to her freely.

“I’m scared Alex” Chelsea whispered.  “Mom’s freaking out”

“It’ll be ok Chels I’m sure they will find him.” He told her hoping his words would calm her. “It’s the freakin’ FBI”

“Can you come out, like maybe visit Kevin or..or…something?” She asked.

AJ frowned. “I don’t think I could Chels, my Mom was already asking me a hundred questions from going out there last time.” AJ told her.

“I miss you” She sighed.

“I miss you too” He replied frowning with her.

 “Crap I need to go.”

“K, I’ll talk to you soon okay and don’t worry sweetheart, you’ll be fine, you’re Mom will be fine, and we’ll see each other when all this promo stuff is done.”  He told her wishing he could kiss her.

“I love you Alex” She whispered.

“I love you too Chels” He said back as he closed his eyes and pictured her face.

“Bye”

“Bye”

That memory faded out as another faded in.

“No dude you’re doing it wrong it’s like this.” AJ said to Nick as they stood in the middle of the hotel hall way.

“Like fuck I’m staying here man, I’m sister has gone missing!”  Kevin shouted as he stormed out of the hotel room, with Johnny behind him.

“What!?” Brian shouted from the other side of the hall.

“Chelsea’s missing, she wasn’t at the bus drop off.” Kevin said as Brian came running up to him.

“Kevin her Dad…” Brian said stunned as AJ’s chest tightened.

“And these fucking bastards aren’t letting me go home!” Kevin screamed back towards the two managers. 

AJ turned around and walked into his room.  He closed the door, locked it and stood against it as he stared at the window on the other side of the room.  His breathing was heavy and quick as he replayed what had just happened.

“No” He whispered as his eyes began to well up with tears.  “She’ll be ok they’ll find her.” He whispered as he closed his eyes.

Those two memories brought up the other memory, the one he tried so hard to forget.

“What did Johnny want?” AJ asked as he looked over at him Mom from the couch, his heart was racing and he tried to keep himself calm. 

“They found Chelsea sweetheart.”

“They did” He said with a smile, maybe to big of a smile for a friend.

“Alex” She said with a frown as she lightly shook her head.  “The police were called to a cabin fire in the northwest part of Kentucky, there was someone inside.”

“Someone?” AJ asked as his chest started to tighten.

“It was Chelsea hun…”

“What?” AJ replied breathless.  “You means sh-sh-she’s dead?”  He felt an over whelming pain rush through him but he blocked it, all of it. He put up a wall, a gate, whatever he had to do not to breakdown right here in front of his Mom.

“I know you and her were friends.”

“Yeah….Friends.” AJ thought.

“Did you want to go out there for the funeral?” His Mom asked.  If he said no she would wonder why, she would tell him he should go to be there for Kevin and if he fought her on it she would want to know why.  He didn’t want to go; he didn’t want to see her lying in a box.  There would be no smile to warm him up, there would be no hug to keep him safe, and there would be no more happiness without her.  He didn’t want to marry her, not yet anyways, he didn’t want to have kids, he wasn’t that stupid but he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, to just live and have fun and now…that was never going to happen.

“Alex?” His Mother spoke and it broke him from his daze.

“Ah, yeah, sure, whatever.” AJ replied with a nod. His Mother gave him a smile and then walked over to the phone.  “I-I’m going for a walk.”

“Alright, be back soon supper will be ready.” Denise told him as he walked to the door.

AJ walked out of his house and through the complex they lived in.  He walked towards the back and through an open break in the fence.  It brought him out to a small field, he walked across not know where he was going he just walked.  Getting away from the crumbling world as it fell on top of him, he headed into the park on the other side; it was empty most kids in for dinner already.  He climbed up the climbing structure and made his way to the long plastic red tube that stretch from one plat form to another.  Crawling into it he made his to the middling and scrunched himself into a sitting position. Hiding away from everything he let it out, the pain, the sadness, the anger, and sobbed against his knees.

“Alex?” Kevin said and AJ looked up startled.  His eyes were soaked with tears and he wiped them quickly.  “What’s going on?”

AJ sighed.  “Ugh, they want to keep her over night for observation and then give her a psychiatric evaluation tomorrow morning but she doesn’t want to do that, she’s not talking and wants to go home.” He paused and then looked at Kevin.  “So I signed a form saying I give the Doctors permission to keep her here and do what they have to do.”

“Good” Kevin told him. 

“I know” AJ replied as he looked away.  “Doesn’t mean she’s not going to be pissed about it.”

“She doesn’t know any better right now.  This isn’t like Mexico.”  Kevin told him.

“Tell me about it.”  AJ said as he looked up at a cloud rolling by casting a shadow over the falling sun.

“Does Nadia know?” His friend asked.

“No, I figured I’d wait until I knew what was going on, I don’t want to ruin her fun, and she needs this time.” AJ told him.  “She doesn’t need to see Chelsea like this.”

“I stopped by the house and I grabbed this.” Kevin said handing him his phone.

“Sweet dude thanks.” AJ sighed in relief.  “Hey you didn’t happen too…”

“Grab you’re smokes” Kevin interrupted as he tossed him the pack. 

“I fucking love you.” AJ said as he pulled a smoke out and took his lighter from Kevin.