My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Twenty-Three

                Chelsea lied on her side, her blankets wrapped around her as she stared at the wall.  She knew she had been up all night, the sun was starting to turn the sky a lighter blue, her room was lighter and she was glad for it.  All night she heard him laughing and taunting her.  Calling her stupid, pathetic, and horrible and it made her mad she couldn’t just push him away.  It made her mad that AJ expected her too.  She heard people talking outside her door and her eyes darted to see.  She wondered who was going to come in.   A nurse, maybe the Doctor telling her it was time for the test.  Her eyes frowned in anger as she thought about AJ walking through the door.  He was the reason she was still here, stuck in this room with her Father all night.  And now he wanted her to talk but she didn’t wan to talk, she just wanted to be left alone, by them, by him and her Father.

                When the door opened she held her breath and exhaled when someone walked in she wasn’t expecting.   She sat up as they closed the door and turned to her.

“Nadia? What are you doing here?” She asked as she went to pull her hands from the blankets but decided against it.

“I called Dad this morning to see how you were, he told me what happened.” She said quietly as she stood at the door.  “He came and got me before he came here.”

“You don’t need to be here.” She said a little angry at AJ for bringing her here.

“Why?” Nadia replied as she stood by the door and Chelsea looked at her a little confused.  “You’re my Mom and you’re sick.”

“I’m not sick.” Chelsea replied with a slight roll of her eyes.

“Really” Her Daughter replied and the tone took her by surprise.   Nadia walked over to her bed and pulled down her covers, they both looked at her arms.  “Looks sick to me.”  Chelsea looked up at her Daughter.  Trying to explain but how could she.  “I may be fourteen almost fifteen but I know enough to know that that…” She paused and looked at her Mothers arms again. “Is not a good thing.”

“Nadia I…”

“I don’t blame you for what happened.” Nadia said and Chelsea looked up at her.  “They took me from you, she kept me hidden.”

“But I forgot…” Chelsea mumbled as she looked away.

“Because you couldn’t deal.” She told her.  “And when you were able to you remembered, you searched for me and you found me.”

Chelsea sighed as she closed her eyes.

“And stop blaming yourself for Logan too.” Nadia spoke up.

“Nadia” Chelsea replied not wanting to go there.

“I miss him too.” Her Daughter told her.  “But he’s gone and we can’t bring him back.

“Nadia.” Chelsea said as she started to feel herself getting upset again. “Please” Even her, why couldn’t people just drop it and leave her alone.

“It doesn’t make you a bad Mom…”

“I don’t want to talk to you about this?” Chelsea said sternly.

“Then talk to somebody.” Nadia told her.

“Nadia” AJ said from the door and both girls looked at him.  All he did was look at her and with a huff she got up from the chair and walked outside with the others.  He took a step in and let the door close behind him.  Chelsea looked away from him and folded her arms under her blankets.

“How did you sleep?” AJ asked as he walked over to her.  She didn’t say anything. “Well I didn’t sleep much” He replied but she didn’t want to talk to him.  She heard the crinkle of him sitting back in the leather chair. “I was up all night wondering what to do.  I thought back to what it was like not having you.” AJ told her.  “When you were dead and how lost I was.”  She still didn’t move.  “When we found you in Mexico I thought, I have her back and I’m never letting her go.” He paused and she heard him take a deep breath.  “And I never thought the day would come when I would say, I gotta let her go.”  Her head snapped up at him and he didn’t flinch.  “Until last night.”

“Alex” Cheslea said as he stood up.

“I’ve already talked to Kevin, you’re going to be staying with him.”

“Excuse me?” She replied, hurt and anger rushing through her.  “Where do you get off telling me…?”

He interrupted her.  “I have to do this for Nadia” AJ told her.  “She can’t be around this Chelsea.  She’s been through enough.”

Chelsea looked down at her blankets again; she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

“You’re right, there’s nothing I can do, there’s nothing the Doctors can do.  The only one who can do anything is you Chelsea.” AJ told her.  “I hope for Nadia’s sake, you do.” When she heard the door click she looked up and he was gone.

“So is this some sort of threat to get her to snap out of it?” Nadia asked as they walked down the hall.

“No” AJ replied not looking at her just kept walking down the hall but she stopped dead.

“So we’re just going to kick her out of our lives? You told me you two wouldn’t break up, you wouldn’t get a divorce.”

AJ stopped and turned to his Daughter.  “I’m not kicking her from our lives and no one is saying the D word yet…”

“Yet?” Nadia replied.  “Why didn’t you wait until we heard what the Doctor said; now you’ve given her more of a reason not to give a shit!” Nadia yelled.

“Nadia” AJ said sternly towards the word she used.

“You go; you leave her I’m not!” Nadia yelled at him and started walking back towards Chelsea’s room.

He looked around the hallway, the rage rushing through him he wanted to hit something, anything.  His fingers ran through his hair as he growled and sat down in a chair in the hallway.  He closed his eyes tightly pushing his emotions away, he needed a clear head right now, and he knew he was doing the right thing, for him and for Nadia.  When he felt someone walk up beside him he looked up and saw Kevin sitting down on the chair next to him.

“Nadia says she wants to stay with her Mom.” Kevin said as AJ looked away.  “She can if you want to know, she can stay in the house with us while Chelsea stays in the Guest House.”

“Am I doing the right thing?” He asked as he looked to Kevin still fighting back his tears.

“What do you think?” His friend asked.

“I can’t have Nadia around that, if she had been there last night and saw what I saw…” AJ paused.  “I can’t deal with that…with what I saw…I don’t wanna deal with what else she could do to herself.  I can’t just sit around and wait for her to wake up because it’s eating away at me.”  He told him.  “Last night I came this close.” AJ said as he showed his pointer and middle finger a hair width apart. “This close to drinking.”

“But you didn’t?” Kevin replied.

“No” AJ sighed.  “That’s not me anymore. I’m a Dad now, I’m Nadia’s Dad and I can’t go there.”

The two sat quiet not knowing what else to say and then Kevin spoke up.  “I think you’re doing the right thing.” Kevin told him.  “I know you love Chelsea, but you gotta think of Nadia and you gotta think about yourself man, and if taking a step back is going to help you.  If it’s going to help you take care of your Daughter and Chelsea than it’s something you gotta do.”  AJ looked down at his hands.  “Plus she needs to know, not just from you from all of us that what she is doing, the path she is going down is wrong and if this is the way you have to do that than, man, that’s what you gotta do.”

AJ looked at him; it made him feel a little better that someone had his back.  It didn’t surprise him it would be Kevin.  He sat there for a few more moments repeating the words Kevin had said, reminding himself he was doing the right thing. 

“You should at least wait till the Doctor does the evaluation and then go home; Nadia can stay with us if she wants.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him.

“Yeah” He replied with a light nod.  “I’m going to go for a coffee and a smoke tho.”

“Okay” Kevin replied as they both stood up.

AJ walked out of the hospital and headed down the street to the coffee shop.  He lit a cigarette on the way there and started to think.  Things had gone wrong so fast, things had changed so fast, and this was the part of life he hated.  Just when you were happy, you were in a groove and loving every minute of it, the music stops and the club shuts down.  Something ruins the fun, the groove and the happiness.

He walked into the shop, walked up to the counter and ordered a large black coffee.  It wasn’t his usual fancy coffee with the works, this one was straight black.  When the woman handed him his drink he walked over to a table and sat down.  As he looked out the window he let his mind wonder to a time that didn’t hurt, a time where there was certainty.

“What are you doing?” AJ whispered as he walked up behind Chelsea as she stood at Nadia’s slightly opened bedroom door in her PJ’s.

“Just watching” She whispered back.

AJ smiled as he looked into the room and saw his Daughter sleeping.  They had just gotten back from dinner after flying back from Kentucky.  His arms wrapped around her and she leaned back against his chest.  “We found her.” Chelsea nodded lightly.

“I’m sorry” She sighed as her head titled a little to look up at him.

“Don’t be, I told you already you were scared, he shouldn’t have come after Nadia or you like that.” He told her as he held her a little tighter. 

“I didn’t care how much it hurt me, all that matter was you being able to see her.” She told him still talking low.

“I know sweetheart.” He said as he kissed her temple.  “Come on we should get to bed, you need rest.”

AJ wrapped his arm behind her and they walked down the hall.  They both climbed into bed and AJ took her back into his arms.  She lied there enjoying the comfort of his grasp, the safety of being in his embrace.

“Chelsea?” AJ said.

“Hmm?” She replied.

“Chelsea” She heard again but this time it wasn’t AJ’s voice.  She opened her eyes and looked at the man sitting in front of her.  “What were you thinking right now?”

She sighed to herself, she was still here, in this room with this Doctor who thought he could fix everything with his pad of paper and tapping pencil.  Shifting around in her chair she sighed and looked away again.

“Chelsea do want help?” He asked.

“No” She replied.

“Do you think you need help?” He asked.

“No” She replied again, still not looking at him.

“What if I told you, you were suffering from Delusional Depression and if left untreated it could possibly turn into Schizophrenia?  You would become not only a danger to yourself but everyone around you.  And if you still refused treatment you could be put into a psychiatric hospital.”  He told her. “You wouldn’t be aloud to see your Daughter or your Husband until those Doctors decided that you were well enough too.”

“My Husband doesn’t want me around now anyways.” She mumbled.

“Can you blame him?” He asked.

“Yes” She snapped.  “He supposed to be there for me, he’s supposed to…”

“Watch you wither away into a blubbering fool?” He asked.  “Are you the only one allowed to be suffering here? Are you the only one allowed being in pain?  He needs his time to morn the loss of your Son, his Son.” The man looked down at his clipboard and looked back at her.  “From what I understand he has been there for you but you’re the one pushing him away.”

Chelsea looked down and the Doctor continued.  “Well you got what you wanted Chelsea, he’s leaving you alone. So why are you mad at him, he’s doing what a Husband should do, he’s respecting his wife’s wishes.”

“You’re depressed Chelsea you are so depressed you are hearing voices, whether they are aliens or your Father, it doesn’t matter.” He told her.  “I’m going to give you a prescription for Seroquel and I want to see you in two days, we’ll see how you’re feeling then and talk some more.”

He handed her the piece of paper as she stood up.  “If I find out you haven’t been talking them, I’ll send you to hospital that day.” He said to her still holding onto the piece of paper.  She looked away and didn’t say anything as she took it from him.

Chelsea walked over to the office room door and opened it.  She looked up and saw everyone staring at her.  Kevin walked over with the wheel chair but she waved him off.  “I need to go to the pharmacy.” She told him.

“Okay” Kevin said with a nod.  “I’ll walk you down.”

“Mr. Mclean?” She heard her Doctors voice from behind her and she turned around.  “Can I see you for a minute?”  Chelsea quickly looked at AJ as he walked past her and into the Doctors office.  When the door closed she spun around and with a huff she walked out of the waiting area. 

“Chelsea!” She heard Kevin shout a minute later.  She didn’t stop but his run was faster than her walk.  “Hey what did he say?”

“Why don’t you wait for AJ and find out?” Chelsea snapped. “What ever happened to Doctor patient confidentiality?” She asked.

“It only works like that when the Doctors think you’re competent enough to make your own decisions.” Kevin told her.

“I am” She snapped.

“No darling you’re not.” Kevin sighed.  “You are teetering on the edge of losing it completely and you are such a smart woman, I don’t understand how you can not see that.” He told her.  “…at least enough to want this help.”

Chelsea looked down at the piece of paper and stared at the chicken scratch that barely passed as hand writing.  “And like I said you’re more than welcome to stay with me and Kris but you have to follow Doctors orders.” He told her and she looked up at him.

“You’re not mad at him for kicking me out?” She asked a little hurt.

“No Chelsea, he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.” Kevin told her sternly.  “Do you not understand the severity of what happened last night?” He asked.  “If you would have hit an arty Chelsea you would have bleed to death right there in front of him.”

Chelsea said nothing as she just sat there staring at the paper.  Kevin put his arm around her and she slowly looked up at him.  “Let’s go get that filled and head home ok?” Chelsea could only nod as they both stood up and headed towards another wing of the Hospital.