My Breathless Mistress VI

Chapter Eight

                AJ sat on a bench outside of the hospital, Kevin and Brian sat on either side of him.  The cars whizzed by as the tires drove over the damp roads from the rain showers of before.  He lifted his hand to his mouth and wrapped his lips around the filter of his cigarette.  His lungs pulled in as much smoke as they could before he pulled it away.

“This can’t be happening.” He finally spoke as smoke drifted from his mouth.  “This can not be happening.”

“You gotta take this one hour at a time right now.” Kevin said.  “Try and not let things over whelm you.”

“Over whelm me?” AJ snapped and then took another strong drag from his cigarette.  He shook his head as he blew the smoke from his chest.  “Everything was going so good.  We were happy, we were together, and I was happy, finally happy.” He said as the tears came back.  “No pain, no heartache…” AJ took a deep breath as a tear dripped from his cheek onto his hand.

“I know” Kevin said in a somber tone.  “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now but all I can tell you is that you need to be strong, maybe stronger than you’ve ever been.” His friend said as he sat back letting his tears fall and flicked the cigarette away.  “That baby is going to need you and Chelsea is going to need you.”

“Fuck what do I tell Nadia?” He asked.

“You just do what you always do.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him.  “Tell her the truth.”

He looked down, rubbed his hands on his pants, and realized he was still in his sweats and t-shirt.  “I just need a minute” AJ said sitting on the bench, his hand on his knees, as he stared at the ground.

“Ok we’ll go back in and wait for the Doctor, when you’re ready go talk to Nadia.” Brian said as him and Kevin stood up.

With his eyes locked on the ground his mind wondered about Chelsea, lying on the cold steel table, the giant green screen in front of her, and the beeps and clicks of the machines around her.  The Doctors talking, nurses prepping and then there was her.  Scared and alone, wondering what was happening to her little boy.  He put his head in his hands and started to cry again.  His heart ached to be there with her, to tell her it was going to be ok even if he didn’t know for sure.  He ached to hold her, to make her feel safe like he always did.

“It’s going to be ok” He told himself not caring if anyone heard him.  His eyes closed and he took a deep breath.  “It’s going to be ok” He said again.  “You have to trust Mclean, trust that everything will turn out right because they need to know it will and if you don’t believe it, they won’t either.”

Standing up from the bench he wiped his eyes and headed into the Hospital, he made sure to go past Brian and Kevin just to make sure the Doctor hadn’t come back out.  When they told him she hadn’t he made his way down to the cafeteria.  Again he was sent through a maze of hallways and down into what he figured was the basement of the Hospital.  He saw the sign that read Café and walked to the doors.  When he opened the glass door his eyes started scanning the large room immediately.   There near the large wall to wall windows were Nick and Nadia.  He took a deep breath, wiped his hands again and walked over to them.

“Hi” Nick said when he saw him walk up to the table.

“Hi” AJ said trying to smile.

“I’m gonna go see if Howie’s here yet.” Nick said and AJ knew he could see it in his eyes and gave them a moment.  When Nick got up AJ sat down in his spot and with everything he had looked at Nadia.  She was staring back at him and her face frowned.

“It’s bad” She said and for a second he blanked on what to say.

He nodded lightly.  “Yeah it’s bad but it’s not terrible.”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Your Mom’s in the OR they’re giving her a C-Section, do you know what that is?” He asked.

“That’s when they have to cut the baby out” Nadia replied.  “They’re taking him out?”

“They have to, she went into labor, her water broke and the baby went into distress.” He said

“Is he going to die?” She asked and he saw tears sitting in her eyes.

“We don’t know yet hun, when they take him out they’ll put him on machines to help him breath and machines to help him eat, and they’ll put him in a special crib that will keep him warm.” He told her.  “But how his little body will react to all of that we just don’t know.”

“Can I see her?” She asked.

“Not yet, she’s not out of the OR.” AJ told her.

“Should we go back up there then?” She asked.

“Finish eating” He told her with a nod.

“I’m not hungry anymore” She said as she looked at her food.

“Are you sure?” He asked and she nodded. “Alright let’s go upstairs then.” He said and they both stood up. 

When they turned into the hall that led them to the ER Nadia grabbed AJ’s hand.  He looked down at his hand then too her.  He wondered how scared a fifteen year old girl must be to take her Dad’s hand in public.  When he looked back up he saw Brian, Nick and Kevin standing by the benches they were on earlier.

“Howie’s here he’s outside talking to Leigh.” Nick said as the two stopped at his friends.

“Kris is on her way, she sent Mason to the other babysitter.” Kevin said.

“Cool” AJ nodded.  “Shit I gotta call my Mom”

“I did” Kevin said “I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah” AJ replied.  “Don’t think I could handle telling her right now. “

“She’s going to call my cell when she gets a flight; she figured you’d be pretty busy.” Kevin told him as the door opened and AJ looked over. No Doctor.

“Hey I brought my hand held wanna play it?” Nick said as he reached into his jacket pocket and handed it to Nadia.

“What game?” She asked.

“Call of Duty.” He replied

“Sweet” She said as she walked over to the bench and they both sat down.

“How’s she doing?” Kevin asked and AJ looked at him.

“Fine now, she’s got her video games.” He said and he actually smiled.  “Otherwise quiet, she wants to see Chelsea.”

“And you?” He asked.

“Wish I could see her too, tell her.” He paused.  “Tell her everything’s going to be ok.” The left door opened and AJ looked up. No Doctor.

“There’s some seats over there AJ let’s go sit down.” Kevin said as he took AJ by the shoulder.

They walked over to the benches and sat down. “She’s probably so scared Kevin.” AJ said as he started to cry again.

Kevin nodded.  “But she’s strong AJ, I know you know that, she’ll be ok.”

“And my son?” AJ asked looking at Kevin.  “Will he be ok? There’s nothing I can do for him, there’s nothing I can do for her and I’m crawling out of my own skin, it’s driving me so crazy.”

“Do you need a smoke?” Brian asked.

“No” AJ said shaking his head.  “I just wanna see them.”  The right door opened. 

“Mr. Mclean?” The woman said as she looked down to the benches that Nadia and Nick were sitting on and AJ stood up quickly.

“Y-yes, I’m right here.” AJ said as the woman looked at him.

“If you’d come with me I can take you to see your wife now.” The woman said.  He nodded unable to speak and then he looked at Nadia.

“I’ll come and get you ok?” He said as she walked up to him.

“Okay” She nodded.

AJ walked through the door and the woman closed it behind them.  They walked down the hall; it was busy, nurses and doctors walking all around.  His eyes darted at every door wondering which one she was in.  He had so many questions racing through his head and then they stopped, his mind went blank.

“She’s in here” The woman said pointing to the door on his left.  “She’s sedated and recovering well.”

“What about the baby?” He asked, his voice cracking.

“It’s still up in the air, he is being put on the ventilator and being incubated but his heart rate went back to normal the minute we got him out, so that is a good sign.” She told him.

“It is?” He replied unsure.

“Yes” She nodded.  “As soon as he’s settled I will come and get you, let you know how he’s doing and you can go see him if you like as well.” The Doctor said as AJ nodded a little enthusiastically.

The Doctor left him standing at the door.  He stared at it not sure how the woman on the other side will be.  Reaching for the handle he turned it and pushed open the door.  He saw her right away, the bed raised slightly, she was lying on her back, her head was turned to the side, and her eyes were closed.  Carefully he closed the door and walked over to her bedside.  There was a stool there so he pulled it close to the bed and sat down.

When he looked back to her, her eyes were fluttering open.  “Alex?” She mumbled.

“Hi.” He whispered as he took her hand and she started crying right away.  “Shhh, sweetheart it’s ok”

“No” She mumbled shaking her head.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Chelsea you have nothing to be sorry for.” He told her as he touched her face.

“I couldn’t protect him.” She cried and AJ frowned.

“You did nothing wrong Chelsea, this wasn’t your fault.” He said his voice still a whisper.

“But I was supposed to protect him.” She said as he wiped the tears from her face. “Just like I was suppose to protect Nadia and I didn’t.  I didn’t keep him safe.”

“You did sweetheart, you did.” He told her but he wasn’t sure if his words made a difference as she started crying again.  AJ pulled down the side bar, slipped his arm under her, carefully sat beside her and gently pulled her into his arms.  “It’s ok, it’s going be ok Chelsea. “

“You don’t know that” She whispered as she held him tightly.

“I do” He told her and he noticed it calmed her a little.  “I do because when things get bad, we fight, we fight to make it good again and that’s what he’s going to do, he’s going to fight, and he’s going to make it.”  She moved her head and looked at him.  “He’s strong and tough like his Mom.” He smiled

“And thick headed like his Father.” Chelsea replied with a small smile.

“Impatient like me too apparently.” He said and it brought a bigger smile to her face and he thinks he even heard a laugh.

“Have you heard anything?” She asked as she laid her head on his shoulder.

“Nope, the Doctor said she was going to check on him, and will let us know as soon as she can.” He told her as he brushed her hair from her face.  His head rested on the top of hers.

“Oh god” Chelsea said as she lifted her head.  “Nadia? Is Nadia ok?”

“She’s fine Chels, she’s out near the front with Kevin, Brian, and Nick.” He told her.

The room went silent and then her arms wrapped tighter around him as she started crying again.  He closed his eyes and held her.  “Get some sleep Chels.”

“Promise me something?” She mumbled.

“Promise?”

“When they say ok, go sit with him, and stay with him until I can get there.” She said and he looked at her.

“And what about you?” He asked.

“I’ve got Nadia, Kevin and Anne, you’re all he has.” She said as she looked back at him.

“Okay” He nodded and kissed her on the forehead.  “But till then I’m staying right here”

Chelsea laid her head back down and it didn’t take her long to fall asleep.   He lied there with her and he kept his mind busy with memories of them.  He thought about the night in the hotel in Kentucky and how they had fallen asleep on the couch much like they were lying now.  He thought about the night they made love for the first time and then the first time thirteen years later.  The door opened and AJ looked up.  Doctor Lane stood at the door and motioned for him to come outside.  Carefully he slipped out from under her and pulled up the roll bar.  He walked over to the door and met the Doctor in the hall way.

“Ready to see your son Mr. Mclean?” She asked as AJ stood there frozen.