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Chapter 19

Both Brian and LeighAnne quickly grabbed the kids and walked away, leaving us alone once more.

“We gotta stop doing this in public.” He paused, running his hand through his hair. “I may have to tell her.” I closed my eyes, not wanting to talk to him about her after that amazing kiss. I leaned around him, grabbing my water and purse, but he was faster. He grabbed my arm to stop me. “Don’t be like that. If anything else happens, I have to tell her.”

“Believe me Nick, I know.” I shrugged out of his grasp, and turned to walk away, but stopping. “Personally, I think you’re confused.”

“Me, confused? I’m not the one kissing one man and going on a date with another, am I?”

“No, you’re just the one kissing one female yet screwing another. It’s obvious there’s still something between us, that something’s there…”

“There’s nothing.” I turned and glared at him, knowing the lie for what it was. But fine, he was a grown man, he didn’t need me to hold his hand or to guide him, nor was I going to. If he didn’t want to man up, I wasn’t going to make him. But neither was I going to sit idly by anymore. Oh, I still had every intention of making him suffer, that was a given, but to pine away? That may not be a given.




I stepped out of the elevator, both of the kids holding on to my hand, neither one speaking but both knowing I was upset, as was their father. I walked into my hotel room, telling both of them to go pick out something nice, for Uncle AJ was taking us to dinner. They both beamed and ran into their rooms. I leaned my head back against the door, part of me not wanting to leave this room, yet the other part knowing I just had to go. I heard the footsteps, than the knock, not wanting to answer it. I groaned as I pushed away from the wall, slowly opening the door, welcoming both of them inside.

“Baylee, they’re in the room, if you wanna play.” He smiled and nodded, making a bee line to the bedroom. “Have a seat. Want anything to drink?”

“No, and I’d rather not be side stepping this issue. Wanna explain what we happened to walk in on?” I sighed, sitting down in the chair, watching as both LeighAnne and Brian sat down across from me.

“We kissed.”

“I gathered that.” I glared at him.

“I don’t need the smart ass remarks, Littrell.” He tried to stop it, but his lips formed into a smile.

“Theresa…”

“Look, that wasn’t our first kiss. A couple days ago, when you took the kids to Chuck E Cheese, we sorta talked backstage and we hugged and one thing lead to another. Leigh walked in on us, and ended the brief kiss. From there, we’ve never really been alone.”

“Leigh, and she hasn’t said anything?”

“Not to my knowledge. She said she wouldn’t, either.”

“And this time?”

“I’m not sure. We got done playing the game, and he made a comment, than I made one back, the next thing I know, I’m staring into those eyes that are on fire with passion. And we’re kissing. But, before we even get there, he said he was stupid, in letting me go. That I was what he needed all along.” Brian glanced over at LeighAnne before turning back to me. “What? What was that look for?” Brian chewed on his lower lip, not quite meeting my gaze, which only made me nervous. “What is going on, Bri?”

“One night, we were talking, and drinking. He asked me what made me fall in love with LeighAnne, but more importantly, what kept me loving her. So I told him. She was everything I had ever wanted, everything I dreamed of. She wasn’t too crazy, nor too sane, she wasn’t too feminine, nor too tom boyish, to me, and for me, she was perfect.”

“Why am I not liking this?” He shrugged, grabbed his wife’s hand, and I turned my glance to her, seeing the sadness in her eyes. I jumped out of the chair, my arms wrapping around my waist. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“You need to. He told me he still loved you, would always love you, that that would never change. But he said he no longer felt, well, passion for you. That you were the same person. You didn’t want to be different.” I grinded my back teeth, hating this with every fiber of my being. “So, I made a suggestion.”

“Stop it!”

“Theresa, please.” I glanced at him over my shoulder. “It wasn’t easy. I told him if he felt so strongly, but still wanted things to work out, to talk to you, to ask you to change for him, for you guys. I swear though, I never once thought it would go down like this. I never thought he would have filed for divorce because you wouldn’t change.”

“It’s not even that I wouldn’t. I did want to, I wanted to make him happy, but how can you make someone happy when they do nothing but apply that pressure. I wasn’t changing fast enough, or in the ways he wanted.” I turned and finally looked at him, the tears silently running down my face. “At the start of my depression, Nick had…acquired a friend. I realize now or at least at the time of my divorce, who Nick wanted me to be like, or to be sorta like, and that was this new friend. I also knew that he had cheated with me on with this new friend, and believe me, she knew about his life, our life.” I watched as both of them absorbed that information, both of them coming to the same conclusion. “Yeah, um, Terri’s been in the picture for a while. When I started coming out of the depression, that’s when Nick approached me about changing. I wanted to, believe me I did, but I really never felt I could compete with her. After all, I had three deaths, my babies being the toughest.”

“Woah, baby? You were pregnant?”

“Oh, I forgot, he never told anyone about that. Yes, Brian, I was. So, maybe that’s why you telling him what you told him hurts a lot more.” He got off of the couch, his arms wrapping around my shoulders, but I pulled away. “The past is the past.” I swallowed, trying to compose myself so the tears wouldn’t fall anymore. “There’s a lot that happened I’m sure neither one of you know, even for being mine, and his, best friends. I’d rather not dwell on the sad parts.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Really, please, let’s not discuss that, or at least right now.” They both nodded, still amazed, and yet concerned. “For what he still feels for me, he stills not willing to give her up. I don’t know why.” I shrugged, turning my attention back out the window, watching as Nick walked out of the hotel, his bodyguard right beside him. “I know what he feels for her isn’t true love, no matter what he tells you, her, or anyone else. I just don’t know why he’s fighting everyone and everything.”

“Because he’s scared.” That brought my attention once more to Brian’s.

“Why?”

“He will always love you, everyone knows this, even Terri. And yes, you’ve changed. You’ve bought clothes, dyed your hair, hell, even wearing a little more make up there, but is this going to last? It’s not that Nick fell out of love, it’s that he no longer had passion for you anymore.” Passion? Desire? Nick loved me, but he didn’t desire me. Nick desired someone like Terri, or Terri, yet he didn’t love her. Hell, if he could merge me and Terri into one, he could possibly have the perfect woman! Yet, he had to have felt something, for those kisses weren’t just based on love, there was passion fueling them. So, if that was the case, why was he fighting it? Why deny it? Why go on lying to HER? Or, even better, lying to himself?