The Morning After- As told by Annie

I groaned as the sunlight streaming through the porthole above my head assaulted my eyes. Seriously? We were going at it for the third- no, fourth- time, and the unnaturally bright sun was suddenly interrupting us? Weird. winced in pain and rolled over, snuggling against the warm presence curled against my body. Then, I remembered. Fuzzy pieces of the previous night’s events invaded my mind, mixed with snippets from the amazing dream I’d just awoken from. I choked back a sob when I realized that the blonde head of hair I was haphazardly running my fingers through was a couple inches longer than the short, cropped hair I’d caressed in my dream, and the warm body I was laying against was a few inches taller, the shoulders a little bit broader. Suddenly aware of my nakedness, I shivered, despite the fact that Nick’s arms were wrapped tightly around my waist and his legs were intertwined with mine beneath the white down comforter. Oh God, what had I done?

 I carefully wiggled out of his grasp and slipped out of bed, then went about in search of the clothing I’d been wearing the night before. I found my bra on the rug beside Nick’s side of the bed and my camisole draped across the arm of a chair in the corner. My pink pajama pants were in a wad on the floor just a few feet from the door. I slipped on my bra and cami, and hugged myself, rubbing my upper arms with my hands. Nick’s room was freezing. I went in search of my flannel pajama top, but quickly realized that I had recklessly left it somewhere on the dance floor. One of my bunny slippers was sticking out from under the bed, and the other was just inside the bathroom door- about twenty feet away. How in the world did that happen? And where the heck were my panties? I scanned the room once more for my underwear and jumped when Nick groaned and rolled over. I stood still until I was sure he was still asleep, then slipped my pants and slippers on and tip-toed out of Nick’s suite. I grasped the doorknob, being careful not to let the door slam, then raced to my suite on the other end of the hallway.

“I’m so sorry, Andrew,” I whispered, leaning against my door as I shut it. I felt like I was going to throw up. I raced to the bathroom, and hovered over the toilet, but nothing came up. With hot tears flowing, I splashed some cold water on my face, and as I was toweling myself off, I noticed the bottle of Zofran on the sink that Nick had left in my room on the first night of the cruise. I shook one out in my hand and walked to the mini fridge to get a bottle of water. Then, I went to my suitcase to find some ibuprofen for my pounding head and took three of them, along with the Zofran with one big gulp. After I’d showered and gotten dressed, I fumbled through my suitcase again, this time digging all the way to the bottom. After I found what I was looking for, I went outside, figuring that my hungover self could probably use some fresh air.

I settled into a lounge chair on the empty deck by the pool and started talking. “I know it’s silly, but I kind of feel like you’re not going to hear me because I’m not at your gravesite. Yet looking out at the sun shining over the ocean kind of feels like heaven, even though right now I’m in my own personal hell.   So, I guess I’m going to give it a try. What was that all about, Andrew? I hadn’t dreamed about you in months, and you show up like that? Was it to remind me that technically, you’re still my husband until I marry someone else? If I marry someone else. Well, don’t worry Andrew. Your message is loud and clear. It was my first coherent thought when I woke up this morning. Are you trying to send me a message?” I sighed and wiped away some tears with the corner of the cashmere throw I had draped around my shoulders. I don’t even know why I’d brought it with me. Perhaps subconsciously I knew I was going to need it?

“You know how I am when I’m drunk. Inhibitions aren’t something I possess when you get a little alcohol in me. Of course, you always said that all you had to do when you wanted me to be perfectly honest was make me a cocktail. So, what does that mean about what happened with Nick? I’m not proud of it, but... God. There’s only ever been you, Andrew. Saving myself for marriage was something that, as a Christian, I’ve always been proud of. For over five years, I’ve been completely alone, then I go and do this. Is that why I dreamed about you?” I looked out at the harbor the ship had docked in and watched the sailboats bob up and down in the waves. “I like Nick. I like him a lot, but he’s kind of the ‘anti-Andrew’. Yet, then again, so many things about him remind me of you, and it’s not just the blonde hair and blue eyes. He has such a big heart, and he’s a big goofball, and he makes me feel like a princess. I haven’t had a man look at me like that since, well, you.” I took a sip of my coffee and stared out at the ocean, allowing my tears to flow freely. Then, I felt a presence beside me.

“Hey,” I looked to my right to find Leighanne settling into the lounge chair beside me.

I stared back out at the water. “Hey.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I sighed. “You don’t have enough pennies for all of my thoughts,” I scoffed.

Leighanne looked around the deck to make sure we were alone. No worries. I’d already done that before I started talking aloud to my dead husband. “How was your night?”

I turned to face her and gave her a suspicious glare. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?” I feared that she already knew where this was going.

“I was really drunk, and I think I did something really stupid last night,” I said quickly.

“You think?”

I dropped my shoulders in defeat. “I know.”

Leighanne pursed her lips. I knew she was wondering whether she should go on, and truth be told, I kind of wanted her to. I really needed a friend at the moment. “Would that something happen to be 6’1” and blonde?” I couldn’t help but smile at her interpretation.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Well, yes, but....” Leighanne sighed, her eyes apologetic. “Brian saw you leaving his room this morning. He’d gone to the ice machine and was on his way back.
I drew in a sharp breath through my teeth. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”

“Well, he’s not happy about it. I tried talking to him, but right now he’s thinking like Annie Morgan’s manager and not like Nick and Annie’s friend. He was saying something about your image when I got mad and walked out on him.”

“He doesn’t need to worry about it. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again.”

“Why not?” I nodded towards my left hand clutching my coffee. The thin platinum band glinted in the sunlight and Leighanne gasped. “Oh, Annie,” she whimpered. “What happened?”

“I dreamed about him,” I murmured, unable to look her in the eye. “I was sleeping in Nick’s bed, and I dreamed about Andrew.”

“What kind of dream was it?” I flashed her a “look,”-- the kind of look that only another woman would understand, and Leighanne widened her eyes in realization. “Oh. So, not a G-rated dream, I presume?”

“No. Not at all,” I answered, blushing, with my voice barely above a whisper.

“And now you feel guilty about what you did with Nick last night.”

“Yeah.”

“I understand,” Leighanne told her, leaning forward. “As a Christian, I’m not going to condone what you did with Nick, but this-” she pointed at Annie’s wedding band. “Is only going to make you miserable. I know you miss him. I know you love him, and I’m sure you had your reasons for bringing that with you on this boat, but it’s been five years, Annie. You’re only thirty years old. I didn’t know Andrew, but I think I know enough to know that he wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.” I gave her a weak smile and wiped a few tears away with my fingertips. Everything she was saying was true. “Now, go fix your face and come to breakfast.”

“I’m not so sure I want to face Brian just yet,” I admitted.

“You let me take care of Brian.”

Nick

Even though I was terribly hungover and still pretty much zonked out, I knew it the second Annie left my bed because I suddenly felt cold, despite the heavy down comforter that still covered my body. Then, when I actually woke up an hour later to find her gone, I knew it was bad news. I silently cursed the sunlight streaming through my tiny window and held my head in my hands, massaging my temples to try to stop the pounding. Still, I couldn’t help but smile when I remembered what I’d experienced just a few hours ago. The memories were foggy at best, but what I did remember was fan-freakin-tastic. When I stood up to head to the bathroom, I wondered whether the boat had already docked or not, because it sure felt like it was still moving to me. I grabbed a bottle of water from the mini-fridge and downed about half of it with two aspirin before I trudged to the shower.

After showering and getting dressed, I sifted through my shaving kit in hopes of finding the bottle of Zofran Annie had prescribed for me before I attempted to eat breakfast. I groaned when I realized I’d left it in Annie’s room the first night of the cruise, but headed for breakfast anyway. I’d been in this predicament enough times to know that having something in my stomach to combat the alcohol was probably a good idea. I hoped that she’d at least remember to take one. When I got to the dining room, I spotted her immediately. She looked tired... and beautiful. Leighanne was seated to her left, AJ to her right. Howie was sleeping with his head on the table across from her. I headed for the empty seat beside Brian.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you,” he muttered under his breath.

I paused, leaving my chair pulled out, but stayed standing and looked down at him with wide eyes. “What? Why?”

“Taking advantage of a drunk woman, Nick? One we know and care about, no less? Really?”  I’m pretty sure Leighanne kicked him under the table at that point because he hissed an “ouch!” but kept staring me down.

I looked at Annie who only glanced at me for a moment and blushed before continuing to shovel fruit salad into her mouth while staring down at her bowl. In fact, nobody at the table was looking me in the eye except for Brian, his huge nostrils flaring. Suddenly, I was embarrassed that he’d basically announced to the entire table that Annie and I had slept together, and I was even more embarrassed that his perception of the situation was that I had taken advantage of her. Oh dear god, had I taken advantage of her? No. No. That’s not what it felt like at all. So, I’m not proud of it, but when I’m embarrassed, my first inclination is to get angry, so I slammed my hand on the table and whispered harshly at Brian. “Not that it’s any of your business, but if I took advantage of her, that certainly wasn’t my intention. Now, I believe this is supposed to be between Annie and me and not the whole damn table!”

“Nick-” Annie’s soft, apprehensive voice echoed in my ear, but I was on a roll.

“Now, what happened between Annie and me is not now, nor has it ever been, or will it ever be any of your damn business!” I don’t know how I went from whispering to shouting, but it happened.

“Actually Nick, it is my damn business.” Brian retorted, standing up and puffing out his chest.

“Oh, really? Well, mister holier-than-thou, explain that one to me!”

“Okay. I will!”

“WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?!” This time I heard Annie loud and clear. She jumped out of her seat and marched over to us with her hands on her hips. Is it wrong for me to say that I was a little turned on by this “fiery red head” persona she’d taken on? She pointed her finger at Brian. “You, Brian Littrell, are not my father., and you aren’t my big brother. You are my manager, and as your client, I’d appreciate it if you’d leave Nick the hell alone!”

He’s her what? “He’s your what? Your manager? Really?” I stammered, completely bumfuzzled. I mean, it made sense, but I felt like this was the type of information that my- my-- whatever the hell Annie was- would have shared with me.

“Yes, Nick. As a matter of fact, I am, so imagine my surprise when I see her leaving your room early this morning and flying back to her own like a bat out of hell. I’d expect this from you, but from Annie...How could you, Nick? She was drunk and vulnerable, and...” Suddenly, he was raising his fist, and what was I doing? Clenching my own. To think that Brian- my Frick- could actually think that I would do something like that was completely ludicrous. Maybe to a groupie a few years, ago but Annie? Annie was in an entirely different league. I wasn’t going to throw the first punch, but if the little prick so much as laid a hand on me, I wasn’t above swinging back. Leighanne had leapt to her feet and put her hands on Brian’s shoulders in an attempt to hold him back.

“Stop it!” Annie waved her hands in front of her body as if to say “Time out!”
“For the love of God, stop it! For the record, I wasn’t that drunk, so if anybody took advantage of the situation, it was me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pack. “Brian, I’ll call you tomorrow when I get back to Kentucky and we’ll talk about Nashville. Nick, come with me.” She held out her hand, and I took it willingly. Yes!  Is it wrong that I wanted to stick my tongue out at Brian while we walked away?