The morning after arriving to Gainesville, Brian awoke early. He pulled Noelle closer to him gently and smiled to himself. Finally, it seemed like everything was right. Leighanne knew that things were over between her and Brian—even if she was unwilling to accept it at that moment—and Brian was where he belonged. He finally felt okay again.

Earlier in the year, while he was torturing himself over the decision of whether or not to leave Leighanne, Brian knew that he was unhappy in his marriage and with the way that his life had turned out, but until he was truly happy again—in love with Noelle, in love with his work and the people surrounding him—he didn’t really realize how unhappy he had been. The day before, an overwhelming feeling of guilt pinged off of his every nerve ending. He didn’t want to hurt Leighanne, but how could he lie to himself now? How could he allow himself to feel a completely nauseating, heart-wrenching sense of nothingness when he finally remembered how it could be better than that?

That was Brian’s whole thing in the beginning. He didn’t remember anything different than sadness and fighting and headaches. In his heart, he knew that wasn’t the way that marriage was supposed to be, but his head told him that he didn’t have any other choice, that Leighanne was the choice that he had made and that Leighanne was the choice that he was stuck with for the rest of his life.

Brian never believed in divorce, and as hypocritical as it sounded, until he was in the position where he was questioning whether getting divorced was the right move for him to make, he was so judgmental towards people who hadn’t stuck it out or tried harder. Maybe there were other things that Brian could have tried—marriage counseling, a longer trial separation—but he always came back to this moment, or other moments like it, when he had the woman that he truly loved wrapped in his arms.

He hadn’t been fair to Noelle the day before. He was going through something inside and ended up snapping at her and then, without even thinking about it, he hung up on her. He knew that he hurt her feelings, though she wouldn’t mention it now after knowing where his head was at the time.

They’d had a long talk the night before. He’d spilled his guts and retold the entire story about how it hurt him to hurt someone who cared about him no matter how right that it was. Noelle was as understanding and compassionate as she could be, but Brian knew that it was hard for her to hear the intimate details of the conversation and about the way that Brian felt. It would be hard for anything to believe that Brian was truly invested in starting over so soon. Brian wasn’t sure of much, but he was sure about the way that he felt about Noelle.

Brian leaned down and kissed the top of her head softly and then untangled himself from Noelle’s body. He slipped out of her room quietly, made his way to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Brian’s intentions had been to make Noelle breakfast; however, after scanning the contents of her cabinets, that didn’t seem likely.

Just as Brian leaned in to pull out a carton of eggs, he heard footsteps approaching behind him. He smirked, learning that he’d been caught, but grabbed the carton anyway.

“Hey, Baby,” Brian called from inside the fridge. “I was going to make you breakfast. You ruined the surprise.”

As Brian turned around with the carton of eggs in his hand, he realized that he wasn’t talking to Noelle at all. There was a petite red-headed woman standing behind him. He quickly scanned his memories, trying to remember when Noelle had mentioned that she had a roommate.

“Uh, hi,” he said sheepishly and then pointed down at the blue carton that he was holding. “Eggs?”

Emily’s jaw fell to the ground. There was a Backstreet Boy. In Noelle’s kitchen. In his freaking underwear. She tried to pinch herself inconspicuously to see if she was dreaming. Judging by the smirk on Noelle’s boyfriend’s face, she hadn’t been as stealth as she’d like to imagine.

“Um, hi. Hello. No, no eggs for me. I’m just going to go get Noelle,” Emily stammered as she stumbled back towards Noelle’s bedroom.

“She’s not awake yet,” Brian replied, still smirking. “You can hang out with me. I can put some pants on and we can have breakfast?”

Brian laughed to himself. He realized that he didn’t know this girl, but he figured that if she was trying to rob the place he could probably take her in a fight.

“Yeah, you know, I think I hear Noelle in the other room, actually.” She held up a finger to Brian signaling that she’d be right back. “One minute.”

Emily quickly backed into Noelle’s room and slammed the door shut. She noticed that Noelle was still sleeping soundly and she was grateful for that. She picked up a pillow from the side of the bed that she assumed was Brian’s and smashed it into Noelle’s head.

Noelle shot up in bed, ready to start swinging at whoever had hit her with that pillow. She wasn’t good at waking up in the first place, least of all while being smashed in the head in the middle of an endearing dream about the man that she loved. It would figure that he would break her from a perfect dream Brian by being goofy real Brian.

When she looked over and saw that it was Emily clutching the pillow, she narrowed her eyes. “What the hell was that for?”

“You could have warned me that Brian was here. Naked, in your kitchen, none the less,” Emily whispered harshly. She swung the pillow and hit Noelle with it again.

Noelle jumped out of bed and grabbed the pillow from her friend.

“Would you please stop doing that?” She threw the pillow on the bed and shook her head. “He got here late last night. I didn’t have time to tell you. You’re the one that barged into my apartment first thing in the morning. And he’s NOT naked.”

“He’s in his underwear. It’s the same thing,” Emily replied, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. “You never cared about me letting myself in before.”

“I still don’t care,” Noelle argued. “Just don’t complain when there are unfamiliar hot men in my kitchen.”

Emily laughed softly and shook her head. “I can’t believe there’s a Backstreet Boy in your kitchen right now. What the freaking hell?”

“Em, seriously, he’s Brian. That’s it. He’s not just some Backstreet Boy,” Noelle replied with a smirk. “Though, this is probably the answer to all of your teenage fantasies. Should I leave so that you can fulfill them?”

Emily closed her eyes out of sheer embarrassment. “I knew that I never should have told you that I was a teeny back in the day.”

Noelle laughed and pushed her friend playfully in the shoulder. “I’m sorry. I won’t mention it again. Would you like me to formally introduce you to Brian?”

Emily started to nod, but Brian hadn’t given the girls the chance to make their way into the kitchen. He knocked lightly on the bedroom door and then let himself in. While Emily and Noelle were powwowing in the bedroom, Brian had gone into his suitcase where he’d left it in the living room the night before and pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Now fully dressed, he felt a little less dirty about being alone in an apartment with his new girlfriend and her best friend.

“Morning, Elle,” Brian greeted with a truly genuine smile. “Are you ladies hungry? I was going to scramble up some eggs.”

Noelle bounced over to where Brian was waiting in the doorway and kissed him softly while pulling him further into her bedroom. “That would be great, but first, I want to introduce you to my best friend, Emily.”

Brian smiled and extended his hand for Emily to shake. “We’ve kind of already met, but it’s nice to know your name.”

Emily blushed again and Brian chuckled. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’m not usually so lame.”

“Not lame,” Brian replied, shaking his head. “I get it. A strange man is in your friend’s kitchen and you’re trying to decide whether to shoot him with the mace or give your friend a high five.”

Noelle rolled her eyes and smiled softly. “Men high five over bagging random strangers, Brian, not women.”

“No,” Emily replied with a giggle. “He’s kind of right. High five, Noelle.”

Noelle laughed and high-fived her friend. “You’re retarded.”

Brian laughed along with Noelle and Emily. He figured that he should have been embarrassed—about being a sort-of married man, caught half-naked in his girlfriend’s kitchen by her best friend—but the girls were both comfortable, he had no reason not to be. The playfulness was broken, however, when Brian’s phone buzzed on the bedside table in front of him. He pushed past both of the women and picked up his cell phone.

“Hmm,” he said, mostly to himself. “That’s weird. It says I have a voicemail.”

“Did you hear it ring?” Noelle asked Emily as Brian brought the phone to his ear to check the message. Emily simply shook her head.

Brian shot a small apologetic smile across the room. He realized that he was being rude, but the number of the missed call was from Atlanta. There was no telling what drama was waiting for him behind his voice mailbox now.

After a second, an unfamiliar male’s voice began to speak. “This message is for Mr. Brian Littrell. This is Mike from ABC Storage. I’m calling to confirm that your reserved storage unit has been cancelled and your deposit has been credited back to your account. If you have any questions, please feel free to call me at 321-555-9876.”

Brian stared at the phone in confusion for a second and then clenched his jaw.

“Damn it,” he cursed to himself under his breath. He slammed his phone shut.“You’ll have to excuse me. I need to make a call.”

He brushed back past Emily and then kissed Noelle on the cheek before slipping out of the room.

When she heard the front door slam, Emily turned to Noelle with wide eyes. “That’s weird. What was that about?”

Noelle shrugged and looked curiously to the door. “I don’t know.”

Outside, Brian was furiously dialing his EX-wife’s phone number. Leighanne answered after only one ring.

“Brian,” she breathed. “I was hoping that you’d call. Where are you?”

“Where I am is none of your business,” Brian spat furiously. He didn’t know how to get through to her anymore. What part of ‘it’s over’ did she not understand? “Where do you get off cancelling my storage unit? I had everything set up. I’m leaving for tour again soon, Leighanne, I’m don’t have the time to play games.”

“Who’s playing games?” Leighanne asked, softly. “I know that you’re going to change your mind. All of your things are back where they belong in the house.”

“What?” Brian asked, respectably calm considering the situation.

“I put your clothes back in the closet and I hung your accolades back on the walls. Your things are where they belong,” Leighanne reiterated.

Suddenly, she got a bad feeling. Things seemed like there was a chance that he was changing his mind, now Leighanne wasn’t so sure.

“Leighanne!” Brian yelled. “I gave you the divorce papers. They’re going to be filed in the court sometime soon! My things belonged in storage, not in that house!”

“I threw them out,” Leighanne replied stubbornly. “I told you. I’m not getting divorced. Period.”

“You don’t get to make that choice alone. You can’t just say ‘no.’,” Brian responded. He was trying not to raise his voice. Noelle’s neighbors didn’t need to know about his drama, but Leighanne was making this so much harder that it needed to be.

“Well, you don’t get to just make the choice either, Brian,” Leighanne snapped back.

“Why can’t you just handle this with some class?” Brian yelled. He knew that it was a low-blow, but he was out of ways to handle this diplomatically. “Just sign the papers and let me go. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?”

“You don’t know that you don’t want to be with me,” Leighanne replied softly.

Brian could hear her voice cracking and he suddenly hated himself again. It sucked that he had to break Leighanne’s heart. He never saw himself as a divorcee either, but when it’s done, it’s done and he was getting increasingly frustrated with the situation.

“Leigh, I’m sorry. I know this is hard, but I do know that I don’t want to be with you. Being together wasn’t a mistake, but we made a mistake ever getting married and I’m sorry,” Brian replied as gently as he could. He walked over to the balcony railing and leaned against it. He twined one of his hands into his hair and squeezed his eyes shut.

“You’re wrong,” Leighanne replied, through her fight was fading. She knew that he would see what was right in front of him eventually, but arguing wasn’t going to be the way.

“I’m not,” Brian sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to go.”

Brian slammed his phone shut without waiting for her to say goodbye or to argue her point. He thought after last weekend, he’d be done arguing. The decision was made, why couldn’t it just be over?

Brian was broken from his thoughts when the door closed behind him and Emily walked out of the house. Brian stood up straight and tried to smile. “Leaving so soon?”

Emily nodded slowly. “Yeah, I have some things to take care of. I was just dropping off Noelle’s mailbox key.”

“Are you sure that you don’t want to stay for breakfast?” Brian probed, though really, he wasn’t into it anymore.

“I’ll have to take a rain check,” Emily replied as she waved and made her way to the stairs. She paused at the top of the staircase and turned around. “It was really nice to meet you though. I hope that I’m not over stepping my boundaries, but I know that the two of you are in a weird situation and I just wanted to say that I’m really glad that you’ve been able to work it out. I haven’t seen her as happy in a while.”

Brian couldn’t help but to grin at Emily’s words. He made Noelle happy and he was glad for that. “Thanks, Emily. We’ll have to get together again before Noelle and I leave.”

 Emily nodded. “Definitely.”

As she waved goodbye and turned toward the staircase, Brian walked back inside the house. He closed the door gently and exhaled a soft sigh. Noelle was waiting for him in the living room.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m not really feeling breakfast anymore though. You want to just hang out in bed this morning?” Brian walked over to her slowly and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Wrapped in my arms. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to be.”

Noelle smiled sympathetically and kissed his jaw line softly. “That sounds amazing.”

Brian smiled gently and scooped Noelle into his arms, content simply to have her lie by his side of the rest of the no-doubt long day.

----

Later that night, Brian and Noelle were out to dinner at one of Noelle’s favorite restaurants, Carolyn’s Kitchen. There was a comfortable feeling to the restaurant that served home-cooked favorites. Each booth was its own private sanctuary and there was a wood-burning fire that was always burning near the bar—even in the winter.

The restaurant was the perfect hideaway for Brian and Noelle. They could sit in their corner booth and not worry about Brian being disturbed by anyway and rumors starting to run rampant. 

All afternoon, they had been avoiding the subject of Brian’s rollercoaster ride mood swings, but Noelle was becoming frustratingly curious. Once their meals plates were cleaned and the decadent chocolate cake that they’d ordered was nearly finished. Noelle decided that she didn’t want to wait for him to decide to talk.

“So,” she started slowly as she took her final bite of cake. “Are you ever going to tell me what that phone call was about earlier?”

 Brian sighed softly and shrugged He put his fork down next to Noelle’s on the dessert plate. “It wasn’t anything.”

 Noelle rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Whatever you say.”

 Brian grinned a crooked smile and shook his head. He didn’t want Noelle to think that he was hiding things. He was just sick of thinking about it. He guessed that he wasn’t the only one who was tired of feeling this way.

“It was Leighanne. She cancelled my storage unit and threw away the divorce papers. I guess that she thinks that the more stubborn she is about it the more willing I’ll be to change my mind.”

Noelle could feel the anger rising in her—not at Brian, but at Leighanne. It was completely unwarranted and Noelle knew that. Brian was Leighanne’s husband. She had a right to fight for her marriage. Still, Noelle was staking claim here. She wasn’t letting go of this one, not when he’d already made the effort, not when he knew that he didn’t want to be with his wife anymore.

“What’s wrong?” Brian broke into Noelle’s thoughts.

Noelle smiled at how well he could read her. “Nothing, really. Jealousy, I guess?”

Brian laughed at her honesty. “You don’t have anything to be jealous of.”

 “Even so.” Noelle paused before continuing, “Can I ask you a question?”

 “Anything,” Brian answered quickly.

“When’s the last time that you and Leighanne… well, you know.” Noelle grabbed her water glass and pulled it in front of her face to hide the blush rising to her cheeks. She didn’t know what would possess her to ask such a personal question.

Brian chuckled to himself and shook his head. “Wow.”

“You don’t have to answer that,” Noelle replied quickly. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Brian replied as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not that. It was just unexpected.” Brian paused, thinking about it. He was shocked that he honestly couldn’t remember. Every time he thought back to sex, he thought of Noelle. “I really don’t know. Way before the tour started.”

Noelle nodded. “So, if you weren’t—together—ever, then how did she not see this coming?”

Brian shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, you don’t really want to think that your marriage is ending. Leighanne could probably stay in this misery forever. I can’t do it. Not anymore.”

“What changed?” Noelle fired off her next question.

“I don’t know,” Brian answered. “Everything. We were together for years and the next logical step was to get married, so we did. I’ve had a lot of time to think it over and I don’t know that it was ever really right. We started to fight a lot. She stopped being happy with my career. It was just one thing after another until enough was enough. I left the day before the tour started and within a few weeks, I asked for a separation. Truthfully, though I knew that divorce is what it was going to eventually come to, I didn’t have my lawyer draw up papers until a few weeks ago.”

Noelle let the new information process in her mind for a second before continuing with her line of questioning. She didn’t know what was making her so curious about all of the things that she had been avoiding. Maybe it was the fact that she was finally comfortable enough with him to ask? Maybe it was because she felt like she was so firmly involved.

“How do you feel? About your marriage ending? I mean, we talked about it a little bit the other day, but still. It’s incredibly sad, so I’m just wondering how you feel about it,” Noelle stammered on. She leaned into him across the table, but resisted the urge to reach out for his hand.

“Um, yeah,” Brian replied slowly as he turned her question around in his head. He looked down at the table and then looked back up again. “It’s sad. You never want to hurt someone that you care about, but I’m not in love with her anymore.

You’re a big part of my new state of clarity, but it’s so much more than that. Once the weight was lifted off of my shoulders, once I knew that it was really over, everything was better. I felt like I could breathe again.”

 Brian reached across the table and took Noelle’s folded hands into his. He smiled softly. “Any more curiosities?”

Noelle shook her head. “No, not really. I love you though.”

“I love you too,” Brian said. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly. He pulled his hand away and signed the credit card slip to pay for their meal. “You ready to get out of here?”

Noelle nodded as Brian slid out of his seat. He held his hand out to her and helped her up out of her side of the booth. As they walked toward the entrance of the restaurant, Noelle wrapped her arm tightly around Brian’s back and pulled him close. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

Brian kissed the top of her head softly and draped his arm over her shoulders. “So am I.”

When they reached the parking lot, they noticed that it had started to rain.

“Hang out for a bit,” Brian said. “I’m going to go get the car.”

He leaned down and kissed her again before sprinting out through the rain.

As she watched Brian disappear through the lined rows of cars, a gust of wind chilled Noelle and she wrapped her arms around herself. A moment later, the doors to the restaurant swung opened behind her. When Noelle turned around to excuse herself and get out of the way of the door, she was shocked to see a familiar salt and pepper haired man with strong features and wise eyes staring at her.

“I see that you’ve got yourself a boy toy, huh, Noelle?” Rob Matheson asked with a smug smirk tugging on his pursed lips.

Noelle turned around quickly, her face pale. She could not believe that this was happening to her now. At that moment, she was completely convinced that the universe was playing tricks on her and she was already completely over it.