When Brian arrived to the venue, he had to go straight to hair, makeup and wardrobe and then to the stage to perform. He hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to Noelle privately about what had happened with Leighanne. In fact, everything had been such a whirlwind when he’d arrived, he didn’t remember seeing Noelle at all.

Ever the professional, Brian went through the motions for the show. He sang his parts in the songs and he hammed it up for the crowd, but he couldn’t get his mind past everything that had happened earlier in the day. He couldn’t stop thinking about Leighanne showing up, begging him to love her. He couldn’t stop thinking about seeing his once calm, gentle wife slapping Noelle across the face. He couldn’t stop thinking about Noelle’s stone-cold expression when she had walked out of the room and left him there with Leighanne.

He’d said over and over again that he didn’t want to hurt Leighanne, but today he watched as he completely destroyed her. Brian knew that Leighanne still loved him with all of her heart, but he also knew that if she let herself let go, she would realize that they weren’t meant to be together.

Noelle on the other hand, just kept walking away. She was so quick to run away from him. Today, Brian wouldn’t let that happen. He wasn’t going to let her close him off, not this time. Part of him wondered if there was going to come a point in time when she would stop running.

During their first costume change, Brian darted off of the stage. He quickly changed his clothing and rushed back out of the dressing room while the band played their interlude. He only had a couple of minutes, but he wanted to find Noelle. He wanted to know that she was there, waiting for him, still all in. He looked all over, but Noelle was no where to be found. He only had seconds to spare. He ran back toward the stage empty handed and turned to AJ.

“Dude,” Brian started, slightly out of breath from his series of sprints down the venue hallways. “Where is your sister?”

“She went back to the hotel when the show started,” AJ answered, simply. He was in his performance frame of mind. He didn’t want to be pulled into Brian and Noelle’s drama—not ever—but certainly not now.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me that?” Brian yelled in frustration. He pulled his arm back and punched AJ in the shoulder. “I’ve been running all over this place looking for her!”

AJ looked at his shoulder and then looked back up at Brian. There was an expression of amused shock playing about his face.

“Did you just punch me?”

Brian clapped his hands to either side of his face and laughed.

“Yes, I did!” He dropped his hands and smiled when AJ started to laugh with him. “Today has been a weird day.”

AJ nodded slowly and sighed. “Yeah, it definitely has. Noelle was okay. She knew that you were busy when you got here. She wasn’t mad or anything. She said something about having a shitload of clothes to pick up off of the floor. I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know what that meant.”

Brian rolled his eyes and laughed again. “Leighanne threw all of Noelle’s clothes all over the floor, perv. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

AJ tilted his head to the side and lifted his eyebrows. There were a million things that he could have said about knowing that there were other reasons that Noelle’s clothes were on the floor, but then he remembered that Brian was dating his sister and that was weird.

As they took their places in line with Howie and Nick to make their appearance back on stage, AJ replied, “I guess she needs to do more than pick up her clothes, then. She needs to make sure that they haven’t been thrown out the window or burned with a cigarette lighter.”

“You’re not kiddin’,” Brian mumbled as they made their way to the stage and finished the show. Once again, Brian went through the motions and the crowd was none-the-wiser to his behind-the-scenes drama.

After the show, Brian met with some fans that were waiting for pictures and autographs. He did his duty and canoodled with whatever important persons decided to come and say hello, but as soon as he was free, he was out the door and headed back to the hotel. He was tired and his body was sore, but he didn’t care. Something didn’t seem right. He didn’t really know what it was, but everything around him just seemed off somehow.

He burst into his hotel room eagerly. He made his way through the empty hallway and sitting room and into the bedroom portion of the suite. Noelle was sitting up in bed leaning against the headboard with her feet tucked underneath her. She was dressed for the night in a tank-top and a pair of short girl-boxers. The television was playing some reality dating show. When Brian entered, Noelle turned to him and smiled.

“Hey,” she said softly. She moved her legs from underneath her and stretched them down the length of the bed and crossed her ankles.

“Hey,” Brian replied with a sigh of relief.

Apparently, he’d let everything get to him too much and had made a big deal out of nothing. He shrugged out of his jacket and pulled his sneakers off of his feet. He dug into the pocket of his jeans and took out his wallet and room-key and set them on the dresser. Then, he walked over to the bed and climbed in next to Noelle. Immediately, he reached out and wrapped his arm around Noelle’s shoulder, pulling her closer to him.

Noelle smiled as she snuggled into his chest. She wrapped her arm around Brian’s waist and held him tightly to her. She inhaled deeply, taking in his slightly musky, but still amazing smell. When she looked up, Brian was looking down at her with a smile. She leaned forward and planted her lips gently against his.

Brian wrapped his hand around the back of her head and held her closer, prolonging the kiss for as long as he could. When she finally pulled away, Brian sighed.

“Today was—”

“Crazy,” Noelle finished softly.

“Yeah,” Brian agreed. He reached up and stroked Noelle’s cheek where Leighanne had hit her. “Crazy. I’m sorry about all of this. You’ve really been dragged into a mess.”

“Don’t apologize,” Noelle practically whispered. She sat up and threw one leg over Brian’s so that she was straddling his lap, facing him. “When I decided to do this with you--really do this--I knew what I was getting myself into.”

“Still,” Brian replied, as guilt took over. “She shouldn’t have attacked you like she did, both physically and verbally.”

Noelle laughed softly and shook her head. “I kind of provoked her and anyway, I’m a big girl. You did good, though. Well, you did good for me. You’re here, right? And I’m here with you and she’s gone. I just—I have to admit that I feel bad for her. It’s obvious how much she loves you and you must have felt the same at some point in time and it’s just—it’s heartbreaking.  I don’t like being the cause of someone else’s pain. I feel kind of guilty.”

“Noelle, you don’t have anything to feel guilty for. You didn’t steal someone’s husband. Things were already over between Leighanne and I—” Brian started, but Noelle cut him off.

“I know, I know. Things were over before you met me, I get it. That doesn’t change the look on her face.” Noelle shook her head slowly and sighed again. “I really shouldn’t let myself get concerned with her. I don’t even know her, but I still feel bad.”

“That’s because you’re a good girl,” Brian replied with a smile as he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her toward him for another kiss.

“I’m not always good,” Noelle mumbled into his lips.

Brian smirked and shook his head. He kissed her lightly again and then pulled away.

“Well, you’ve gotta be good tonight because papa’s gotta get some sleep.”

Noelle pouted at him playfully and Brian rolled his eyes and slapped his hand lightly against her lower back. “Get off me woman.”

Noelle laughed as she swung her leg back over Brian’s lap and landed back on her side of the bed. She waited while Brian changed for bed and then climbed under the blankets with her. He reached over and turned off the light at the bedside table before lying down and pulling Noelle into her place against him.

Brian pressed his lips against hers once more and whispered into the darkness, “I love you, Baby.”

“I love you, too, Papa,” Noelle replied, mocking his earlier nickname for himself. They both laughed softly before drifting off to sleep.

***

It was the middle of the night when Leighanne arrived back home to Georgia. After Brian left her standing in the hallway of the hotel, she raced back to his room and re-packed her bags. She took off and got on the next flight back home. Brian hadn’t so much as called to make sure that she was okay. He didn’t make sure that she’d gotten onto a plane safely or to see if she’d ended up staying another night. He didn’t care anything about her one way or the other.

That thought finally hit home to Leighanne and ached to her very core. She didn’t know how someone could change so much in so little time. She didn’t understand how she could be so low on his list of priorities. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t the way in which things were supposed to be.

Even his mother had tossed her aside like she was the flavor of the week. His family—her family—had forgotten about her as well.

All day, she’d had to avoid the gazes of people in the airport and on the plane. She didn’t want anyone to ask her if she was okay. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, because the truth was, she wasn’t okay and none of them could help her. She didn’t know if she was ever going to be okay again.

As she walked into the house, there were still tears streaming down her cheeks. She had just walked in, but already it was as if the walls were caving in around her. When Brian had originally given her the divorce papers she’d destroyed his gold record displays and torn up their wedding photos. Their remaining photo albums were stored away, so there were already very few reminders of him in the house. Still, his presence haunted her. It was the memories in her mind; the ones that wouldn’t ever fade.

She could look at the couch and remember cuddling up to watch a movie, but ending up doing so much more. She could lie in their bed and remember feeling his warm body against hers at night. She could still smell his scent as it was blended into everything. He was everywhere, but he would never be back again. She took everything for granted and now, she would never be in his arms again.

Leighanne left her bags at the door and went into the bathroom. She needed to get cleaned up. There was no way that she was staying there. She was going to go to Suzanne’s house, but she wasn’t about to let her sister see the mess that she’d let herself become over Brian Littrell.

When she saw her appearance in the mirror, it caused her to cry harder. Her blond hair was a mess. Her eyes were puffy from crying and in the background all she could see was the vision of Brian walking in as she was fixing her hair and wrapping his arms around her from behind. He’d place a kiss on the side of her neck and whisper that he loved her. With the blink of an eye, Brian disappeared and she was alone, cold and broken.

Without thinking, Leighanne opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out the leftover bottles of painkillers that Brian had been prescribed after he’d sprained or pulled some random muscle in his body.

He vowed ‘til death do us part, Leighanne thought to herself, then I’ll just help him keep his damn vow.

In a mess of uncontrollable sobs, she pulled the tops off of the bottles and shoved the pills into her mouth. She grabbed one of the small bathroom cups that she left by the sink and filled it with water to help her get the medication down.

It didn’t take long for the affects of the drugs to start taking over. Leighanne stumbled out of the bathroom and down the hall. Her breathing became labored and her eyes became blurry. Her heart started to pound inside of her chest and suddenly, she was scared.

In the living room, she clutched the shelf where the phone was kept. She grabbed the phone as the room started to spin and she fell to the ground. Forcing herself to stay awake, trying not to panic and cause her labored breathing to become even more so, Leighanne held down the button on the speed dial for her sister.

Luckily, Suzanne picked up after the first ring.

“Suzanne,” Leighanne mumbled almost incoherently, “I did a stupid thing.”