A few weeks later, the Boys were back on the road. This time, Brian brought Leighanne with him. He had asked her to come, but he knew that if he didn’t she would just assume that she was coming anyway. She’d kept her promise and hadn’t spoken about Noelle, but he knew that she wasn’t going to take the chance of the two of them reconnecting again.

Brian was sure of one thing; Noelle wasn’t going to be going back on the road with them. The decision that he and Noelle had made was mutual and only made out of a rational need to let each other go. Being back in the same space where it all started would have made being back together—this time in a dirtier way—that much more appealing.

It turned out that Brian was right. Noelle wasn’t around and if people asked AJ about her, it was where Brian couldn’t hear it. Since Brian and AJ weren’t breaking each other’s faces again, Nick and Howie and the crew members assumed that no harm was done. If asked, they’d all admit that they knew that Brian and Leighanne were going to work things out all along; everyone was just glad that it didn’t seem like Noelle was the one who got hurt in the process.

Little did they all know that there was a much bigger story in the background. Only AJ was aware of Leighanne’s hospitalization. The others knew that something had gone down, but the details remained mum. Brian was glad to let everyone think what they wanted to think, but out of respect for his wife and the decisions that she’d made, he wanted to keep their private life as private as it could be.

There hadn’t been many dates left on the tour when Brian had left to go back to Atlanta, so within a couple of weeks all of the dates had been rescheduled and performed.

Brian sat on the couch in their hotel room suite, waiting for Leighanne to get ready to go to the wrap party. Everyone was invited—the stage crew; makeup, hair and wardrobe people; the band. Brian hated to be late. It was one of the many things that had always irked him about Leighanne; she had no sense of urgency about being where she was supposed to be when she was supposed to be there.

Brian glanced down at his watch again, and then called back to where Leighanne was finishing her makeup in the bathroom, “Leigh, everyone’s probably already down there. Are you almost ready?”

Leighanne rushed into the living area right then, sticking her second earring through her ear. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

Brian stood up and grabbed his wallet and the room key and placed them into his pocket. He glanced over, admiring his wife. She was wearing a sexy, dark red dress. Her hair was in waves around her shoulders. Brian remembered that the time that she took was always worth it.

He walked over to Leighanne and pulled her into his arms. “You look beautiful.”

Leighanne smiled. A slight blush rose to her cheeks. It had been a while since Brian had been so sentimental.

“Thank you,” she replied softly. “You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Brian kissed her softly and then pulled away. “Ready?”

Leighanne nodded and they headed to the roof-top pool area that the tour management had booked for the party. When they arrived, Leighanne broke off to speak with some of the women whom she’d grown close to over the years while Brian headed toward the bar to grab a beer and indulge in some of the appetizers.

Brian sat down at one of the bar stools and took in the scene around him. It was a scene that he was so familiar with, but something seemed missing. He kept his mind from focusing on just what that was. He popped a shrimp cocktail into his mouth and took a swig of his beer, then winced. Seafood and beer was not a great combination.

Brian wasn’t alone at the bar for long. People came and went around him. He spoke to Nick for a while about songs that he was working on for his solo album, and then he spoke to Howie about his not-so-new baby, James. Nick was excited to have some time at home to record, and Howie was excited to have some time at home to be with his family. Brian was happy to be speaking about other people’s lives rather than dwelling on putting his own back together for once.

As Nick and then Howie walked off to speak with others, AJ found his way to the bar. He’d wanted to speak to Brian, but they hadn’t really had the opportunity. Brian seemed to have an additional shadow these days.

“Hey,” AJ greeted as he sat down on the bar stool next to Brian.

“What’s up?” Brian greeted in return.

“Leighanne looks like she’s doing well,” AJ said after he ordered a bottle of water from the bartender.

Brian turned around and looked at his wife who was fawning over pictures of Howie’s baby. He turned back to AJ and sighed softly. “Yeah, she’s doing okay.”

AJ took a sip of his water, and then put the bottle back down. “How about you?”

“How about me what?” Brian asked, playing dumb.

“How are you doing with everything?” AJ rephrased, shooting a glare at his friend. He didn’t want to spell it out, and he was sure that Brian didn’t really want him too either so he hoped that Brian would stop being coy.

Brian got the hint and shrugged. “I’m okay, I guess.”

“Things working out okay with you and Leighanne?” AJ continued. He wasn’t sure how he felt about having this conversation, but since his sister swore that they’d ended things amicably AJ guessed that he didn’t have anything to be angry with Brian about.

“Things are okay,” Brian replied. He took the last pull of his beer and then ordered another. It might not have been that sensitive to AJ’s problems, but Brian figured that it had been long enough that Brian’s having a beer shouldn’t bother AJ that much. “Things have been weird, but I guess we’re working things out. We’re speaking again and not screaming at each other and we even enjoy each other’s company when we’re not trying so hard. We start marriage counseling when we get back.”

AJ nodded slowly. “Can I ask you a kind of personal question?”

“What the hell? Shoot,” Brian answered. AJ knew about everything there was to know about the last few months of his life, Brian didn’t know what difference one more question would matter.

“You seem miserable,” AJ observed.

“That wasn’t a question,” Brian sighed.

“Are you miserable?” AJ asked as he rolled his eyes.

“Is that your question?” Brian fired back.

AJ put his head into his hands and shook his head slowly. “Are you always this hard to talk to?”

Brian sighed and decided to stop being difficult. “No, I’m not miserable, exactly. I’m confused. I love Leighanne. I never stopped loving Leighanne; it’s just different and I don’t know if it’s right different or completely wrong different.”

There was a pause in conversation as both Brian and AJ absorbed what Brian was trying to say.

“Can I ask you something else?” AJ continued.

“Isn’t that the game that we’re playing?” Brian quipped. He didn’t mean to come off as such a jerk, but it had suddenly become really hard to open up to his friend about things.

AJ ignored Brian’s tone and continued again.

“Was it ever real? Were you ever serious about the divorce and No-” AJ paused and corrected himself, “And everything else. Or, looking back was it all wrong the whole time?”

Brian turned AJ’s question over in his head. He wanted to choose his words carefully. He sighed and then finally spoke, “AJ, it was like a whole, completely different life. It’s that dream that you never wanted to wake up from and now that you have… you just really want to go back to sleep.”

AJ just nodded and then clapped Brian on the back. “It’s tough to know what the right thing is, but at least you’re trying to do what you think is right.”

Brian looked back at Leighanne again. “That’s the thing, J. I’m not really sure about anything anymore.”

***

The next day, Noelle paced nervously outside of the Dean of Admissions’ office at the University of Southern California. She had applied only a few weeks ago, but on a whim she had called the school and requested an interview. The Dean got back to her rather quickly and accepted her request. They had scheduled the interview for a couple days later. Noelle jumped on a plane without telling anyone other than Emily where she was going and flew off to Los Angeles.

She could have called AJ and let him know that she was interviewing and thinking about moving closer to him, but she didn’t want him to start making ‘brother-plans’ and mess everything up. Noelle was ridiculously superstitious. She was of the belief that once you started making premature plans everything around you fell apart.

She also could have broken into his house again and stayed there while he was still gone, but then she knew that AJ would be back sometime that afternoon and it would be weird to find Noelle crashed on his sofa. She hoped to call him sometime later and surprise him with great news.

‘Hey! I’m in LA and I’m going to be moving here in a couple of months. Yay!’

But then just thinking about that phone call meant that Noelle was the one making premature plans, and she didn’t want to jinx herself.

“Ms. McLean?” the dean called as he poked his head out of his office.

Noelle stood up and extended her hand to the older, distinguished look gentleman. “Hi, it’s great to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to interview me Dean McCarthy.”

Noelle followed the dean into his office and sat when he directed her to a seat across from his desk.

“Of course, it’s a pleasure. I’ve been looking over your transcripts. You have excellent grades and good references, but I see that you were expelled from the University of Florida? Why don’t you talk about that?” Dean McCarthy shuffled through Noelle’s file and then looked up at her.

Noelle was taken aback. She didn’t expect to jump right into the past like that. She hoped to talk about some of her achievements first or at least her background.

“Well, um,” Noelle sighed and decided to just come out with it. “I made a stupid, unethical decision when I entered into a relationship with a professor. I want to make it completely clear that we were both consenting adults, and we were not in this relationship while I was in any of his classes. It just so happened that he was married and I didn’t know it at the time and everything pretty much fell apart around me after that.”

“Hmm,” Dean McCarthy said slowly while flipping through Noelle’s file again. “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve learned since then?”

“Other than not entering into relationships with your professors,” Noelle laughed uncomfortably. “More than learning anything specifically new, I’ve sealed the bond on things that were already there. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and fight for what I want and for what I believe to be true and right. I know that it’s not an ideal situation, but I want to be a doctor and I’ll be a good one. If USC doesn’t want me someone else will and I’m going to make another school very, very proud to have me as an alumna.”

The dean sat back in his chair and smiled, impressed with her. He paused trying to decide whether to tell Noelle what he knew. “Robert Matheson.”

Noelle was taken aback for a second time. “I’m sorry?”

“Dr. Robert Matheson,” the dean repeated. “Against my better judgment, I sent my daughter to the University of Florida. There were stories about Dr. Matheson. He uses his position to his advantage. I’m surprised you didn’t hear them yourself.”

Noelle shrugged and sighed softly. This wasn’t going so well. “There are always stories, Sir.”

Dean McCarthy leaned forward again and crossed his hands on the desk in front of him.

“Between you and me, the guy is a jerk anyway.” The dean smiled again and then moved on. “So, what have you been doing during your semester off?”

Noelle couldn’t help but to laugh. She was sure at this point that she’d have to resort to online medical school at ‘get-your-degree-here-real-quick.com’.

“My brother is a musician, a singer. I needed some time to take care of my business so I spent my summer and most of the fall traveling around the world with him,” Noelle replied.

“Oh?” Dean McCarthy inquired, interested. “Anyone that I would know?”

“Maybe. Since you have a daughter who is around my age probably so,” Noelle paused and smiled again. “My brother is AJ McLean, Backstreet Boy.”

The dean couldn’t help but to laugh softly. He’d never met anyone with a background quite like Noelle. “Well, you’re certainly unique, Noelle.”

“I’d say so,” Noelle replied. She sighed again and started to stand up. “Thank you so much for interviewing me. I won’t take any more time out of your busy schedule.”

“Wait a second,” Dean McCarty interrupted her exit. “Sit down. Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. As doctors or aspiring doctors, we all want to imagine that we’re perfect, but I assure you that you’ll make many more mistakes. Why don’t we talk a little more about your future? It’s not completely up to me, but based on your transcripts and even your unique background, so far my recommendation is to admit you. You still have plenty of time to change my mind.”

Noelle sighed and sat back down. This had taken a turn that she didn’t see coming. The whole time it felt as if this man was teasing her; really that might have been partially true. Still, he was interested and Noelle was one step closer to continuing to pursue her dream.

“I’m game,” Noelle joked. “Where should we begin…?”