Later that week, Brian was in the studio listening to audio of some of the verses that he’d recorded over the last few days. Aside from himself, the studio was empty. At this point in their careers, they were lucky to be able to go into the studio, lay down vocals alone and only have to coordinate schedules later in the game when they had finishing touches to make to an album.

As it stood now, this album was close to being finished. They were set to continue working on it through September for a release in either late November or early December.

Brian was getting lost in the music that was floating from the speakers in the room. He’d recorded the song earlier in the week. The lyrics were distracting and soon he was lost in his own world.

You’re talking now am I’m hearing everything that you say, and I’m holding on as the rope frays and it’s dragging me along to my grave.

Brian looked down at his bare wedding ring finger, rubbing it idly with the thumb of his right hand. He hadn’t even seen the end coming. One day, Leighanne realized that it was over and everything that Brian had given up was for nothing. The principle was still the same. In the back of Brian’s mind, he knew that he’d done the right thing. He had proven that his marriage was over. He had no reason to look back and wonder ‘what if’?

But now, Brian didn’t even know what to think. The end of his marriage was sad, but he couldn’t say that it was going to be a mistake.

“I think that you should probably go back to LA alone,” Leighanne said as she pulled away from Brian and sat up straight on the couch. She wiped the tears from her eyes as Brian looked on confused.

“Am I missing something? I thought that you wanted to come,” Brian replied, missing the subtleties in what Leighanne was trying to say.

Leighanne smiled back at him softly. She reached over and took her hand into his. “Brian, you were right.”

“I was right about…?” Brian trailed off, still not completely understanding though he was starting to get an idea. He didn’t want to jump to the wrong conclusion and start a whole other mess of problems.

“Everything,” Leighanne said, shaking her head slowly. “You were right about everything. You’ve been miserable and I don’t want to be the one who makes you miserable. I can’t hold onto you anymore and the truth is that I was only holding on because I was scared to lose you. I didn’t know how to live without you; I still don’t know how to live without you. But for the sake of both of us, I have to try.”

“Leigh,” Brian replied with a long exaggerated sigh. “You didn’t make me miserable. We loved each other at one point. I hate that you tried to kill yourself—“

Leighanne spoke up, cutting him off, “That was stupid. I was feeling desperate and out of control and not like myself, and I did something really stupid and I’m sorry for that.”

She didn’t want dwell on the mistakes that she had made any more than Brian wanted to dwell on his own.

Brian tried to smile despite everything. He could feel the nerves rising in his body. This was the moment that he’d known was coming. He had agreed to work on his marriage, but when things still weren’t working after almost a year, he knew even Leighanne would have to know that it was time to throw in the towel.

“What changed?” Brian asked softly.

He looked up at Leighanne with tears in his own eyes. Whether he knew that it was right or not, forever was ending far earlier than he’d ever expected.

“Recently?” Leighanne asked as she pulled her hand away from Brian’s and wiped the tears that were falling down her cheeks. “Nothing, I guess. And that’s the problem. We weren’t fighting anymore, but we didn’t have a relationship either. I found those pictures last week, the ones that were in your suitcase.”

Brian sighed and looked away. “I tried to get rid of them. I just couldn’t.”

“You still love her,” Leighanne said. She meant it to be a question, but it came out more as a statement.

Brian nodded. This time the tears were falling down his cheeks. He knew that it was awful and he was a jerk for feeling that way, but he still loved her.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean for everything to go this way.”

“I know,” Leighanne whispered back, her voice hoarse with emotion. “But I’m glad that you kept those pictures—for yourself and for me. While you were with Noelle, I held on because of the hope that I saw in your eyes and heard in your voice, but when I saw how happy that you were, I knew that look that I thought I saw on your face wasn’t hope for holding onto the past. You were looking into the future.”

“I wish that things were different,” Brian replied, finally looking up. “I really wish that we both still felt the way that we used to about each other.”

“Me too,” Leighanne responded honestly. “You are a good man, Brian. You stayed by my side when I needed you, but we both know that nothing’s going to change.  It’s time to move on. We’ve got to let go.”

A dead silence fell over the room as they turned the unexpected events of the day around in their heads. Finally, Brian looked up and smiled softly at Leighanne. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

“I love you, Leigh. I’m always going to love you,” Brian said softly into Leighanne’s ear.

Leighanne held Brian back tightly. She clenched her eyes shut as he kissed the side of her head. It was the most sentimentally affectionate that he’d been in months, and it was when they were saying goodbye.

“I know,” she finally replied. “And I’m always going to love you too.”

And with that it was over. Leighanne was staying in Georgia and Brian was in Los Angeles alone where he was soon going to be taking up permanent residence.

The song that was playing in the background of the studio continued on as if it was the soundtrack to his thoughts.

I can’t feel without ya, you know I can’t deal without ya, and now I got a life without ya. It’s killing me… that we can be undone.

This time, though, the lyrics weren’t referring to Leighanne. They were referring to the one person that he hadn’t been himself without since they met. It had almost been a year and yet, he was still obviously pining over Noelle. He had to stop himself from thinking about her so much. How did he know that Noelle even thought about him at all?

AJ walked into the studio, but stopped in the doorway when he saw Brian staring blankly at the wall in front of him. The song had ended; the static that was now playing over the speakers filled the room. Part of AJ wanted to turn around and pretend like he had never come in, but then he saw Brian’s barren ring finger and wondered what the hell was going on now.

“You’re burning a hole in the wall over there, Bro,” AJ said as he walked further into the studio and took a seat next to Brian at the control booth.

Brian jumped when he heard AJ’s voice. He wondered how long had his friend had been there. He’d never even heard anyone come in.

“Leighanne and I are over, Man,” Brian replied, deciding to come clean right away. The last time that he’d tried to hide his marital problems, he’d only made things worse for himself.

“I’ve heard that before,” AJ said, unable to help himself.

Brian expelled a breathy laugh and shook his head slowly.

“It’s for real this time. She brought it up; we had a long talk. We’re going through the mediation process. It should all be done fairly quickly and without aggravation.” Brian laughed again and put his head in his hands. “And in one comment, I’ve turned my entire marriage into a business transaction.”

“Wow,” AJ said, ignoring the mini-meltdown that Brian was verging on. He took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “It’s really over.”

“Yep,” Brian replied simply. He echoed AJ’s cleansing breath and sat back in his chair. “It’s really over.”

“What now?” AJ asked.

Brian shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’m moving out here, back into my house. My work is here. It makes sense.”

AJ nodded slowly. It did make sense. He wondered if he should tell Brian just who else lived in the area now. Just as soon as he’d decided against it, he opened his mouth and the words came out.

“Noelle just moved to town, you know,” he said.

Half of him was mentally kicking himself for saying anything; the other half was telling him that it was obvious that Brian and Noelle belonged together.

Brian shot him a confused glance. “What?”

“Yeah, she’s going to USC. She’s back in medical school. Or she will be once the semester officially starts in a couple weeks. She’s doing really good,” AJ finished. Then, he started to change the subject. “She actually just moved in last week. I’m kind of dating her friend, Emily.”

Brian had to laugh at the memory of when he and Emily had first met. “You and Emily, huh?”

“You know her?” AJ asked.

“We’ve met, yeah,” Brian replied. “You do know that she lives in Florida. How’s that going to work?”

“Stranger things have happened, Brian,” AJ answered, laughing. “She’s a cool chick. I like her a lot.”

“So, why are you telling me all of this?” Brian asked suspiciously, going back to the beginning of their conversation. He didn’t know whether AJ was trying to tell him to stay away from his sister or to go and track her down.

“Because I’m dating a cool chick and thought my friend would want to know?” AJ answered with confusion knitted in his brow.

Brian rolled his eyes. “Not that, Alex. You’re dating, Emily… kind of. Great. I’m talking about Noelle.”

“You called me Alex,” AJ replied, avoiding Brian’s question.

Brian put his head into his hands and sighed. “We’re talking about Noelle. Noelle calls you Alex. My bad, AJ. Now get back on track.”

“I don’t know why I’m telling you,” AJ replied honestly after another slight pause in conversation. “You were all depressed and things are now how they should have been last summer and that’s all.”

Brian smiled to himself. Part of him wanted to ask AJ where he could find Noelle so that he could go to her place and sweep her off of feet, but Brian knew that wouldn’t be right. Technically, that would put him and Noelle in the same position that they had been when they originally let go of everything that they had. Even if it was only going to be for a couple of months, Brian was still married. It wouldn’t be okay to drag Noelle into the middle of that again, even if she was still willing.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, J,” Brian answered, thinking that he’d read what AJ was trying to say between the lines. “But nothing’s really changed. I’m still not divorced, and I’m not going to put Noelle in the middle of my disastrous life again. At least not now.”

AJ nodded in agreement with Brian. He was glad that at least one of them was thinking rationally. Dating again was making him into a hopeless romantic despite the best interests of his sister.

“So I guess I shouldn’t mention this conversation to Noelle?”

“I’m not sure it would matter if you did, but probably not,” Brian replied. He then hurried to change the subject before he could change his mind. “I’m sick of focusing on my love life; tell me all about yours…”

Brian leaned back in his chair, happy to listen to AJ regale him with all of the stories of his budding relationship with Emily. Little by little he was starting to feel the weight being released from his shoulders. Listening to AJ get excited about a girl that he met was making Brian realize how life didn’t have to be the way that he had been living. It didn’t have to be misery and tears and feeling bad when something that he had known was going to end actually ended.

When one door closes another door truly does open. Brian’s problem was that the door he was walking out of still wasn’t completely latched. As soon as it was, he was praying that the door he wanted to go through was still opened.