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Vowels and consonants, that composed words and sentences, had became a whole set of blurred black ink on white paper. Even tough that was the fourth, fifth times that Brian had read again that letter.
Everytime he would finish reading those words, he would fold carefully the paper and he would place it under the cushion, that strangely still held its owner's perfume.
The room was wrapped inside the dark of the night, alternated with the bluish light coming from the tv turned on while the pictures filled up the air erasing the sensation of being alone. Happy voices, laughters, shouts and musical notes filled up that emptiness in which Brian had risked to be sucked in.

«You were right. And of course you know it, you've always wanted to be right even when you were wrong. You would keep instinting, your face all red and raising up your voice, using every topic so that your bizzare theory would be proven right.
But you are right on this. Sorry, you were right. Sometimes I still forget that you're not a present tense, you're a past that I don't want to put behind my back. It won't happen. I can swear on this and you know pretty well that I've never ade empty promises.
I'm wearing your sweater. So that's where you left it, do you know I was going mad 'cause I couldn't find it? It was, it is, my favorite. And I know this is the very reason why you put it in the closet. You knew I was going to need it and... damn you, Nick! Why do I keep thinking that you knew what was going to happen? Why have I the feeling that you already know that you were going to die? Something isn't right, you wouldn't write this letter or do all of this if you wouldn't know first.
I sound like crazy, right?
Remember? It was the first thing you've told the first day we met. A lot were shocked that we clicked and became friend so quickly, those five years of difference seemed to place us on two different worlds. But we were similar, both of us felt so out of a place where it seemed that there wasn't space for us: you were the youngest and the other three always excluded you, too busy to dedicate a single minute to you. Me? I was the outsider, the last one. I had to make my way inside a group that was interwined long before Kevin would call me. I was shy, even though not many people would believe it. I was shy and scared of a world so different from the one I used to live. We were alone and, in our solitude, we've recognized the other as best frinde of the universe.
I haven't forgotten about all of this. Those memories were simply hidden under the amazing and wonderful images we've created during these years together. I can't forget that before became lovers, before wanting to share a life together, we were best friends.
Now, more than ever, I miss my best friend.
I miss the Nick I could call in the heart of the night only to comment a football match.
I miss the Nick who would come up to my room with hundreds of pop-corn and sweets in a hand and some movies in the other one. You've never liked being alone and... and I was the same.
I miss you.
I will always miss you.»