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Before: Daddy's Girl


Ashley

That night, Nick and I sat in the living room. I was sitting cross-legged on the couch, Nick's laptop on the cushion in front of me, reading a website on how to go about obtaining an annullment. I was downloading forms and reading about the requirements, making sure I would qualify, when I noticed the title of one of the forms. A petition for child custody. I looked over at Zoey and Nick. Nick was sprawled on his stomach on the floor with Zoey on a blanket on her belly, rattling toys around and making weird noises that made Zoey laugh. The thought of even having to fill out a form to ask for custody scared the daylights out of me.

I needed to get these forms filled out as quickly as possible so that there was no chance in him filing first. I didn't have a clue if that would make a difference on the likelihood of who won custody, but just in case speed was a deciding factor, I didn't want to take any chances. I hit the print button on the PDF file and an error screen popped up.

"How do you print on this thing?" I asked.

"Hit the print button," Nick said.

"Thanks, Genius," I said, "I did that, though, and it's giving me a weird error."

Nick blew a raspberry and Zoey shrieked with laughter. He pushed himself up and crawled over on his hands and knees to me, kneeling beside me and leaning to look at the computer. "Oh we're outta ink, that's why," he said. He clicked the error message and made it go away. "Here, print it on my office printer..." he clicked around then hit the print button again and it went through without an error. "There ya go. What'cha printin'?"

"Forms petitioning for an annullment," I answered.

Nick's face was somewhere between a smile and trying to keep a straight face. "You okay?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh no, I'm all broken up inside, what on earth will I ever do without Chris?" I said dryly.

Nick's smile won out and he laughed, and crawled back to Zoey. "It's okay, you know," he said, "If you're not okay," he clarified. "I mean, you were married to the guy, you did go through a lot with him."

"Yeah and then he beat me until I almost died and he almost killed my beautiful little girl," I answered, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Okay. Well I'm just saying that if you aren't for some reason, I understand." He flopped back down on his belly on the floor and rested his chin on his hands and stared at Zoey. "Hewwow," he said in a baby voice, "Hewwow Zozooo..."

I got up and went to get the prints from Nick's office, which was really his studio. The last time I'd been in the room was the night of his plane crash, when I'd sent the stuff on his desk flying into even more of a disarray than it'd already been in, trying to figure out where he'd gone. I stood at the desk and picked up my sheets of paper from the printer and my eye landed on a notebook, the cover folded back so the sheet he'd been working on was up. Across the top of the page he'd written For Zoey then underlined it. Below, were music and lyrics.

I picked it up and stared down at it, my throat catching, and I carried it down the stairs with me.

"Nick, what's this?" I asked, reentering the living room.

Nick looked up. His face turned red. "Just... something I was working on the other night when Zoey wouldn't sleep..." he replied.

I put my forms down on the coffee table and sat down next to him on the floor. "Is it really a song for Zoey?" I asked.

Zoey gurbled on the floor and waved her arms. I handed the notebook to Nick, then picked her up off the floor and held her on my lap.

Nick nodded shyly, "Yeah," he said, "Kinda."

"I wanna hear it," I said.

"It isn't done yet," he argued.

I shook my head, "I don't care, I wanna hear it."

He laughed, "You're impatient." But he jumped up nimbly, "Let me get my guitar." He disappeared from the room.

I looked at Zoey, "You've been holding out on me, girlfriend," I said, tilting her so she was looking up at me, "You gotta hook your momma up when daddy sings a new song, yes you do."

Nick came back a moment later, his guitar slung over his shoulder, a pick bitten between his teeth. He strummed a little, adjusting the strings, tuning the instrument. I lifted Zoey and myself up and sat back on the couch as Nick lowered himself to the very edge of the recliner, resting the notebook so that the page stared up at him from the coffee table.

"Okay," he said, "Now keep in mind, this is really rough still, and... well, I haven't done this in awhile, so I'm outta practice. Plus it's kinda cheesy."

"Oh hush. Play the song," I said.

Nick laughed. He cleared his throat, glanced at the notebook, closed his eyes, and put his fingers on the strings of the guitar. There was a pause, then he started playing.

The notes rang out in the living room, jumping, bubbly things, and he strung them together with a couple "yeah, yeahs" and "oh, ohs", then paused strumming and sang, "I never thought I could feel this way... Never dreamed love could come this natural... But the first time that I saw you... It was head over heels, over the moon, I fell... And it keeps getting stronger... Your gravity is pulling my whole world... Oh don't you know it, Zoey... You're daddy's girl..."

I felt breathless, listening to him, my heart thumping. Zoey grinned up at him. He looked over at her, and a smile spread across his face as he sang, "And you're beautiful... Your smile, your red hair and those eyes... Baby, you're beautiful... Like a summer night with fireflies... I hope you always have that same laugh, hope you always let people take your photograph... Always dance in the rain, and I pray you never feel any pain... but if you do... yeah, Daddy's gonna be right there for you... Your gravity is pulling my whole world... Mmm, yeah, don't you know it, Zoey... You're daddy's girl... You'll always be... Daddy's little girl."

The last note of the guitar faded and I sat there, compeltely unable to breathe.

He put the guitar down, ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, see it's lame."

"Fuck no it isn't," I gasped.

"Fluff," he corrected me.

I felt tears in my eyes. "That was beautiful."

He turned red in the face and held out his arms for Zoey, who I handed back to him. He hugged her close, "If it is, it's only beautiful 'cos it's about a beautiful thing..." he said quietly, looking down at her.

Seriously. Could the man be more perfect? Seriously?




Nick

"So now that you've filled out the forms for the annulment, now what?" I asked. I'd just put Zoey down in the crib and I was fiddling with the settings on the baby monitor. Ashley had spent the afternoon filling out all the info the forms required.

She was staring at the forms, which she'd piled on the coffee table. "We have to serve them"

"Serve them?"

"Yeah," she nodded, "Someone, not me, has to deliver the papers to him."

"Who's gonna do that?"

"We can hire someone or have a friend or someone do it."

I scratched my head and put the monitor down on the table next to Ashley's paperwork. "Maybe AJ could do it."

"Maybe. Is he in town?"

"I dunno."

Ashley put her chin in her hands and stared down at the papers.

I reached over and rubbed her back gently. "It's gonna be okay, baby," I said.

"What if he gets out, Nick?" she asked.

"Then he gets out."

"What if he comes here again?"

I was afraid of that, too, so I wasn't sure how to answer her. I ran my hand down her spine gently. "I don't know, baby."

"What if he comes for Zoey?" She looked up at me.

I shifted. "He's gonna hafta go through me."

Ashley leaned into me and we both leaned back into the couch. I rubbed her arm. "You're a good man," she said, nestling against me.

I kissed her head. "Remember when you thought I was an asshole?" I asked.

Ashley laughed, "You were an asshole," she said.

"I still am, you're just disillusioned," I said.

"Oh am I? So one day I'm gonna wake up and you're gonna be a pumpkin again?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Then you're gonna tell me to get the hell away from you and throw me out on my ass."

Ashley laughed so hard she snorted. "I hate you, you're such a bastard," she laughed.

"I know."

She snuggled deeper into my chest. "Hold me."

"I am."

"Hold me tighter."

"I don't think I can," I laughed.

"Do you ever love someone so much you wanna just... merge with them?"

"I'd love to merge with you, but it's only been three and a half weeks," I answered.

Ashley laughed. "You make everything perverted."

"It's a talent of mine. You should know this by now," I answered, bending forward to press a kiss onto the bridge of her nose.