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  1. Still Alright

April 2012

“Ha! It’s not like your voice hasn’t been screwed up over the past few years!”

“Not as bad as yours!”

It was on again. It had been for over a couple of weeks now. In AJ’s eyes, Brian’s voice was taking too long to get better and he didn’t waste any moment to make sure Brian knew that. And Brian did know that, he just couldn’t help it. To say he was becoming desperate would be an understatement.

“What do you want from me then? I’ve done everything to get it better and I don’t know what else to do Alex!” He yelled and felt how his voice lost every bit of volume and power it had left. It did not help to prove his point.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be a part of this anymore!” AJ could yell louder than him, but when the younger man realized what he said, he clasped a hand for his mouth.

“Is that really what you think, Aje?” Brian asked wounded.

The room was deadly quiet and AJ became aware of all the people staring at them suddenly. Embarrassed, he scratched his head and avoided every eye-contact with Brian.

“I… I… I don’t know, what else is there to do? We can’t go on like this much longer, you’ve gotta admit that,” he stammered helplessly.

Brian looked at him for a moment, then looked at the others for support and eventually turned around and left the room, slamming the door on his way out. The others were left behind, baffled. AJ stood in the middle of the room, staring suspiciously at the door, while he felt Kevin’s eyes piercing his back. He spun on his heels immediately.

“What?” he barked a little harsher than he’d intended.

Kevin didn’t say anything, but his eyes said enough. All these years, and you still couldn’t dis Brian without dissing Kevin.

“I’m not going after him! Forget it!” AJ said stubbornly. Kevin’s eyes narrowed and his infamous eyebrows furrowed. AJ could feel that Kevin was just seconds away of becoming a nuclear bomb and he shrunk back, Kevin’s staring scowl getting too much.

“Alright, alright,” he gave in, “stupid eyebrows always get their way,” mumbling under his breath. Before he could see the eyebrows shoot up, hear Kevin say, “It’s like they’re going through puberty again,”, he was out of the room, making his way through the halls of the conference building.

Finding Brian wasn’t that hard, seeing the man hadn’t gone very far. AJ spotted him sitting in a room at the end of the hallway and took a deep breath to steady himself. Here goes nothing.

“Hey Rok,” he said quietly. Maybe too quietly, he thought when Brian didn’t react, didn’t even look up. AJ approached the hunched figure carefully and saw the troubled expression on his features. Cautiously he put a hand on the older man’s shoulder and felt him tense up.

“Brian? Look man, I’m sorry ‘bout what I said back there, I didn’t mean it like that,” AJ tried, feeling helpless. His friend didn’t answer and AJ almost thought that he hadn’t heard him.

“Brian? Come on, don’t let me say it again, I also have my pride you know,” he joked lamely.

“Please stop talking,” Brian suddenly whispered. AJ frowned and, kneeling in front of Brian, he grabbed his wrists, forcing him to look up.

“You okay?” he asked tentatively and saw Brian nod almost unnoticeably.

“Yeah, fine,” he whispered, “just a headache.”

AJ stepped back. “My fault?” he asked guiltily.

Brian gave a short laugh, “No, it’s not you, Alex,” he said softly, flinching.

AJ let out his breath, relieved. “Ah good, cause I almost thought my own screwed up voice inflicted serious damage there,” he joked, but Brian didn’t take the bait.

“Could you dim the lights please?” his friend asked and AJs frown grew deeper when he saw Brian trying to roll up in a ball. He was by his side in a second, touching his back softly and feeling him shudder violently.

“Bri? You sure you okay man?” he asked, worried.

“I’ll be fine, just, please, turn off the lights,” Brian choked out. Oh yeah, right. AJ jumped up to turn down the lights in the already unnaturally dark room and when he returned, he noticed Brian trying to sit up. He rushed to help his friend, but Brian waved him off.

“It’s fine, it’s gone now,” he said dismissively.

“Don’t mind me asking, but what exactly is gone now?” AJ asked curiously.

“Freaking headache,” Brian replied curtly, still shaking.

“Dude, you get headaches like that a lot?” AJ questioned, concerned.

“Sometimes, they’re more like migraines now,” his friend muttered.

“Wow, you should get that checked out,” AJ suggested firmly.

“I’m fine.”

“I bet.”

 

 

October 2015

“I’m fine.”

“I bet.”

“Shut up.”

“Does it hurt when I press here?”

“Ow! Hell yes it does! Stop touching me!” His friend smiled and continued poking into his shoulder. It made him want to bite his head off.

“If you don’t stop poking me, I’m gonna bite your head off,” Nick threatened.

Brian continued with his job, unfazed. “Go right ahead, don’t have much use of it anyway,” he joked lightly.

“You’re in an awful good mood while in a hospital,” Nick said sulkily.

“Oh well, I practically live here anyway, no use being cranky all the time.”

“You’re a creep,” Nick stated.

“I know,” Brian stopped pressing, “did you get that checked out yet? It might be broken!” For whatever reason, Brian seemed very happy about that. Nick looked at him strangely.

“I did, they said it’s only bruised,” he defended.

“Can you move it?” Brian asked, not listening. Nick tried, but didn’t get very promising results. He stopped when the pain got too much.

“Not really,” he said, defeated.

“You want some aspirin? I got some aspirin, doctor gave me some aspirin!” Brian was almost jumping up and down now, and Nick wondered if his friend had had an access to caffeine. Probably. After the fall, Brian had gotten off lucky, with just a small concussion as a reminder and Nick suspected his friend didn’t even feel it.

“I don’t need your damn aspirin, now calm down!” Nick yelled to be heard over Brian’s useless babbling.

“We’ll need to call a cab!” Brian exclaimed and suddenly stood still.

“What? Why?” Nick asked surprised.

“You can’t drive like that!” his friend declared and Nick paused for a few seconds, knowing he was right.

“Well, what about my car?” he asked desperately.

“It’ll be here tomorrow, and the day after that, and after that, and after…” Brian went on, ‘til he was broken off by Nick.

“Why can’t you drive it?” he asked when he thought about the unpleasant prospection of leaving his brand new car at the hospital for days. When he looked up, he saw Brian scowling at him.

“What?” he asked lamely.

“Duh!” Brian explained, heated.

“Oh, yeah, right.” Nick answered when it finally dawned upon him. Brian hadn’t been allowed to drive for two years. He watched the former Backstreet Boy carefully pick up a sleeping Baylee, and, following him down the halls, he heard him mutter, “Sometimes I wonder which one of us has the brain tumor here…”

Nick smiled, wondering if Brian’s humour would ever cease to exist.

 

 

 

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