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“Why hasn’t anyone come out to tell us anything yet?” AJ yelled, pacing back and forth. “What is going on back there?”

“Calm down AJ. They’re doing whatever they can to help her.” Nick said gently. “We need to be strong for Kat right now.”

Looking at AJ pacing, Brenda crying and Brian out in the hall saying some prayers was almost more than Nick could take. It was like watching a scene in a Lifetime movie. He was just about to tell AJ to sit when Denise, Howie and Kevin came into the room.

“How is she?” Denise asked AJ through her tears. “How bad is it?”

“No one will tell me anything!” he shouted again. “I have no idea what’s going on or how she is! If someone doesn’t come out here soon, I’m going in!”

Denise and Brenda tried to get AJ under control while Nick and Brian pulled the other two men out into the hallway and explained what was happening.

“She wasn’t even breathing when we got upstairs. Her lips had started to turn blue.” Brian told his cousin and Howie, whose faces paled. “I have no idea if we even got to her in time. It was so fast.”

“She has to be ok.” Howie said with a tone of urgency in his voice. “There is no way J’s going to survive this if she doesn’t pull through. I honestly don’t think he knows how to live without her.”

“We need to keep those thoughts to ourselves right now. It’s only going to upset Brenda more and make AJ even angrier than he already is.” Kevin added.

“Bren called her regular doctor and he’s on his way in. Hopefully he can help us with J.” Nick said quietly. “Someone needs to help us.”

Brian was about to say something when Denise called them back into the room. The surgeon had finally come out and was trying to deal with AJ.

“What is going on in there? You need to tell me something right now!” AJ demanded angrily.

“I see no point to beat around the bush.” the doctor answered with an attitude. “She’s lucky she’s not dead.”

Brenda started to sob and AJ looked like he was going to slug him.

“Your friend…”

“Fiancée!” AJ yelled.

“Your fiancée’s heart shut down. The blood pumping through the hole reversed direction and her blood wasn’t be oxygenated. We put in a patch but her heart has already stopped three times.”

At this point, Brenda was practically burying her whole body into Nick’s side and AJ had turned a sickly shade of white.

“Is the patch going to work?”

“I honestly don’t know. Her heart has been weakened and it’s getting harder and harder to bring her back after each time her hearts stops. I’m being direct when I say the prognosis is not good and you should consider filling out a DNR order while you’re here.”

Brenda let out a noise and it sounded like a wounded animal. “Please don’t do that AJ. Please don’t.”

“What’s a DNR order?” AJ insisted.

“A do not resuscitate order.” Brian said quietly.

“English Bri!”

“It means you’ll give them permission to let her go next time her heart stops.”

“Let her go?” AJ roared and spun around to face the doctor. “You want me to sign a piece of paper that says you have the ok to let her die? What the hell kind of doctor are you?”

“One who has other patients to see. I will get a nurse to bring you more information.”

The doctor walked away leaving everyone with their mouths open. AJ was just about to let some obscenities loose when Dr. Anderson came around the corner.

“I can see you met the new surgeon.” he said with a frown.

“He’s a jackass!” AJ screamed. “He wants me to let him kill her!”

“He’s a terrific surgeon” Dr. Anderson said steering AJ to a chair, “but his bedside manner leaves something to be desired.”

“He wants me to sign some paper that says they can let her die!”

“A DNR order.”

“Yeah, that thing! Why would he think I would do that?”

“I’m afraid he’s looking at the physical side of everything and not quite the bigger picture.”

“You bet he is! I’m not signing that paper!”

“I’m not going to argue that you should but can I at least explain why he suggested it?”

AJ was about to freak out when Denise laid her hand on his arm. “Please let him talk to us Alex. We need to know everything.”

“Fine but I am not signing that paper!”

“What is a DNR exactly?” Howie asked.

“It’s a do not resuscitate order. It’s basically an order that gives the hospital permission to not shock Kat’s heart back into a rhythm if it stops again.”

“Why would anyone do that?” Nick asked shocked.

“When someone’s heart stops, it affects every part of their body. Depending on how long they go without oxygen, it can affect their brain and leave some people with permanent brain damage.”

“But Kat didn’t stop breathing that long.” AJ told the doctor.

“I know, but every time it stops, her body goes through an enormous amount of strain to start up again.”

“She can handle this!” Brenda shrieked at AJ. “She would not want this.”

“I can’t sign an order that says you can kill her.” AJ said forcefully.

“It’s not an order allowing us to kill her. It’s an order telling us to not use any life saving measures to bring her back if her heart stops again.”

“I can’t do that.”

“I’m not saying you should.” Dr. Anderson said gently. “It’s just a consideration. You should know all your options in case her heart stops again.”

Everyone just sat there while they absorbed everything they had just heard. Eventually a nurse came down with some paperwork for AJ to look at. He handed it back to her without looking at it and told her that he wanted to see Kat right then. Dr. Anderson asked the nurse to take him back to see her and agreed to sit with the family a little longer. Denise took Brenda out to get some air and to clean her face. As soon as they were out of earshot, Nick turned to the doctor.

“I want an honest answer to this question Dr. Anderson.”

They were all shocked. Nick was usually the one being goofy and letting the others make the big decision. To see Nick take charge was a change for all of them.

“What’s your question Nick?”

“If Kat was your family, would you sign it?”

“I would give it some serious consideration.” Dr. Anderson replied. “She’s been through a lot and we need to really ask ourselves how much more should she be put through.”

Nick thanked the doctor for his honesty and they watched him leave to check on Kat.

“Who’s gonna tell AJ that?” Howie asked.

No one volunteered for that job.