Chapter 3
I stared out the window, looking up at a cloudless day in LA. It would have been an amazing day to lounge out on my porch or to take a trip down to the beach. But nope, not now. Today I was stuck in damn bed with people who kept telling me not to worry, that it would get better. Well screw them. Their life wasn’t over! They weren’t stuck in this stupid ass position. I was! I had to deal with it.
And it was stupid. What the hell did I do to deserve this? Who did I piss me off so damn badly? I couldn’t think of anyone, not like that meant much actually. I lifted my hand, finally able to do that with only a slight twinge of pain and rubbed my forehead. I heard the door open and close and turned my head slowly to see the doctor walk over, pulling up a chair.
“How are you feeling Mr. McLean?”
“I…I’ve been…b..better.” He chuckled slightly at that.
“Somehow, I’m not surprised.” He cleared his throat and looked over the chart he was holding than sat it on the bed beside my leg. “I know you think you are in a hopeless situation, but you aren’t. There are options open to you, because of WHO you are. There are procedures that I can discuss with you that I can’t discuss with other patients because they don’t have the type of funds like you do.” I crinkled my brow as I just stared at him. What in the world was he getting at?
“Do…g..go on.”
“What happened to your back was the fact that you lost discs in your spine. To replace those, the price is in the one hundred thousand dollar ranges.” He grabbed the board back and moved the chair closer to the bed, showing me a picture of the spine. He arrowed to where I was missing the discs and went on to explain what was going on. “The operation is expensive as well, because of the location. It’s possible to end up doing more damage than good.” I rubbed my forehead again, trying to process exactly what he was saying than looked up as the most three important ladies in my life walked into the room, my mom walking over to the other side of the bed and took my hand.
“If it’s likely to do more damage than good, why would Alex want to do it?” Resa said as she sat down at the edge of the bed, looking at the doctor.
“Because it’s the only hope he has if he wants to walk again. The replacements will allow him to help move the other bones and joints. Granted, he will never be able to do, what he once did. But light dancing, and standing, walking, those things will be done no problem. But that will take months of therapy, days where it’s going to hurt and be rough. And rough in many areas, not just physically but emotionally and most certainly mentally.”
“And there’s no other way to help him without endangering his life like this?”
“No, Rochelle, there’s not. Alex will spend the rest of his life in a wheel chair. The way a person’s body is set up, the spine is literally the back bone. Missing a screw here or there might be okay, you will have pain, but it’s not so horrible. When you start missing multiple screws in different areas that are right on top of each other, you can’t function. Mr. McLean is missing that, they are gone, we had to remove them. They were damaged beyond repair. The decision is up to him of course, but as his family, it’s up to you to help him. This strain will not just be on him, but on you. The next year or two will be one of the bumpiest roads you will have to face.”
“But…it’s…that…or..not..walk. And…if I can’t….walk…I can’t…perform.”
“Nope. Unless they will allow you to sit in a chair and chances are, they won’t.” I looked up at my mom than at Rochelle and finally at Resa. There was no choice in my mind. I hated surgery, hated the thought of being sliced open, but the thought of never walking again or performing again was a lot more frightening to me.
“It’s…not…a choice. And you…all know it.”
“Maybe you should talk with the guys first? What if they feel is better just to end the group?”
“Mom…don’t….we all…know they won’t…see…it like…that.” I sighed, squeezed her hand and than looked at the doctor. “What…other…information…can…you tell..me?” He looked around as well than nodded.
“I will call the doctor who is trained in that surgery. George Marshall, a great surgeon. He will come in and explain exactly what they will do and what’s going to happen.” I nodded my head, watched him get up and leave.
“You don’t have to do this baby.”
“I…do. Life…for me…is being…able to walk…on a stage…and perform. We…all know…this.”
“But you have me. We can have another life.”
“Rochelle, this is AJ. He loves you, loves his friends, his family, but there is nothing more important than that stage to him. I don’t like the thought of him having a high risk operation anymore than you guys, but I know him too well. If he could, he’d sell his soul to the Devil to be able to perform again.” I looked at her, my lips twitching at that. She voiced my thoughts exactly.
“Resa, you just need to butt out already. You aren’t going to have to help him.”
“He’s my best friend. I’ve been there for everything with him. This, and you, aren’t going to stop me now.” Her eyebrow lifted it up in a strange challenge to Rochelle. No, Resa wasn’t jealous. In fact, there was really nothing like that between us. There never has been. We never once kissed or tested the waters, like you would do with normal, opposite sex, best friends. Way back when, when the guys first started out, Resa and I had bumped into each other at a tattoo pallor, of all places. She was way too young, but was looking anyway.
And since than, we were like glue. I rarely did anything without talking to her. In fact, I had to get her advice on purposing to Rochelle. Just because I talked to her, didn’t mean I always headed her advice though. But, that’s beside the point. Resa knew a lot about my life, she was truly a friend and I trusted her. And that was something that Rochelle wasn’t grasping.
I leaned my head back, watching these two women, really wondering if they would both help me. And if that was the case, would the sparks really fly? Would the claws come out? Hmm, a show to watch indeed.
“Want to talk?” I shook my head. “Want to watch TV?” Yet again, another shake. “Want to lie around doing nothing?” This time, that earned her a death glare. She looked up over the magazine and glared right back at me. “What the hell AJ?”
“I want to go outside. I want to feel the sun. I want to be able to dance! And I can’t do a damn thing because my no good ass is stuck in this damn bed!”
“I’m sorry; I can’t help you at this moment!”
“No one can!” I crossed my arms, glared at her one more time and than turned my head to look out the window. I had been confined to a damn hospital bed for the last week, over a week actually. I was more than tempted to get out of it, lift it up and toss it out the window. To say I was irritated and pissed off was beyond the realm of smart ass.
Of course, I couldn’t move, which made me stuck. And with the pity glances and the “sorry” that I kept getting, it was only adding to my anger! I didn’t want that pity ass shit and at this point, the next person to say sorry can shove it right up their ass! Don’t give me that damn crap. I didn’t need it. It was only bull shit to my ears! And it was pissing me off.
“Alex…” Her soft voice raked over my nerves and I turned to glare at her.
“Don’t…don’t say another damn word. You can’t help, than get the hell out. I don’t need your lame ass to keep me company! I don’t need you to lecture me about keeping my head straight and things will get better. At this low point in my life, I ain’t buyin’ that shit, so don’t sell it. Now….GET OUT!”
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm glad you all are liking the story. It's quite different to write Alex like this. But fun!
