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Chapter 4

Resa turned as she heard the approaching footsteps and offered a smile to Howie. He returned her smile and stood beside her, looking out the window, seeing the many fans.

“They wouldn’t let him go,” she said, her eyes scanning over the numerous people who were holding signs or stuffed animals.

“We know.” She swallowed hard and leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“I’m scared.”

“I know.”

“He’s my best friend. And…the options are so slim.” She closed her eyes, listening to Howie sigh.

“Would it help you at all if I told you I was scared too? I know the options, regardless if they talked to him or not. And he’s my best friend too and you know that I care for him. He is after all, my brother.” She chuckled at that and nodded.

“I know. The brother that you really didn’t want.” He smiled. They stood like that for a few minutes, just taking in each other’s strength. “You know he didn’t mean what he said earlier?”

“I know. It was his anger, his frustration, all rolling out and I was merely at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“He loves you.”

“He better. I had to suffer through a lot for that man.” She sniffled, wiped her eyes and finally lifted her head, smiling at him once more. “Thanks Howie. Next to AJ, I think you’re the only one who really understands me.”

“I should. If you are friends with that man, and I’m friends with him, than we should really understand each other. Now, are you going to go back in there?”

“Do I have to? Rochelle was in there!” He just lifted a brow, knowing that wasn’t an excuse. “Fine, fine Howie. I’m going.” He wrapped his arm around her once more, gave her a slight squeeze and led her back to the room; opening the door for her and seeing AJ turn his head toward to the door.

I turned the TV off as I saw her walk in, followed by Howie. She gave me a weak smile and walked over to the chair next to the bed, taking my hand in hers. We hardly ever fought, strange as it may be. And I never, okay tried not to, raise my voice at her. She was the back bone that I needed and she was really the last person I ever wanted to hurt.

“I’m sorry.” The words were out of her mouth before I could even utter mine. She was sorry? She had no reason to be sorry! It was my dumb ass that hurt her.

“No…no. You have no reason to be sorry. I shouldn’t have vented at you.”

“I pushed you. I know how you are and I took advantage of that. Well, not advantage, but I just pushed you.” I shook my head a bit, not wanting her to think that she had any blame in this. She really didn’t.

“Theresa, not even, don’t think like that. It was all on me.” She stood up and kissed my forehead.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over and done with. And neither one of us is mad at each other, deal?” I looked up and into her eyes, than watched as her lips lift into a smile and I returned it. I wasn’t mad at her; again, it was a rare sign when I was. And that was shocking for as often as she mingled my life. But just because she stood by my side and tired to cheer me up, that was not a reason to get upset. I finally turned to look at Howie who pulled up another chair to the bed.

“We talked about it. Nick, Brian, myself, Jen…we were discussing what do we do.”

“I figured you would have at some point.” Howie smiled a bit, glanced at Rochelle who stared at him for a moment.

“Bull crap! I’m not leaving.” She crossed her arms and went on staring, but Howie wasn’t one who could easily be pushed, at least at certain times. “If I’m going, so is Resa. It’s not fair that she gets to stay and listen!”

“For crying out loud Rochelle, just go. I know it’s not fair, but Resa is my best friend. And you know that I will tell you everything that happens later on anyways. Now please, go find my mom and try to be a help to her, huh?” She narrowed her eyes at Resa than shot me a glare before she strolled out of the room. Maybe I aught to rethink that whole proposal thing right about now. “I’m sorry D, go on.”

“We know you man, we know just how you are and how you think. And though we don’t like the odds of what could and couldn’t happen, we know that you not being on stage is by far the worse thing you could do.” I chuckled a bit. I had heard the couple interviews the news cast had done with the fans outside and all said they wished me well, but that they knew that somehow, someway, I was going to be on stage again. I guess everyone did know that performing was in my blood.

“I talked with mom. She’s worried of course, but she honestly thinks the surgery is the best choice. Doctor Marshall is coming in later to really sit down with us and discuss the pros and cons.”

“Good. And from there you’ll make a decision?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty much been made, but if for whatever reason, there are far worse cons than there are pros, it’s very likely my butt will be confined in a chair.” Howie gave me a huge ass grin and shrugged.

“There’s ways of putting ramps on stages so someone can wheel themselves around. That just means no more stage humping though!” Resa cracked up and I just shook my head.

“One damn show and I’m shammed for life! Geez, can’t you ever stop talking about it?” I shook my head and leaned my head back, letting out a yawn. Resa leaned over and tucked the sheet and the blanket up around me.

“Rest hon, Howie, mom and I will be back later with Doctor Marshall and we can discuss it more.” I nodded my head and closed my eyes, the fear of being in surgery quickly came to my mind and the fear of what I could end up losing Everyone told me to think long and hard about this and I knew that was true. There were some dangerous turns up ahead and I had better be careful, or I could end up screwing myself in ways I never wanted.