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Chapter 5

I tried to sit up a bit, looking at my family and friends and than at the doctor as he sat down, offering me a smile.

“Well, Mr. McLean, I see you are in happier spirits than the last time I checked in on you.”

“You have checked in on me?”

“Yes I have. I’ve looked over your charts and thought I would come in to see you. But I think you were a little upset. Not that anyone in your case would blame you. To have everything in one instant to lose it all the next, it’s a rather tough pill to swallow.” I nodded my head, rather grateful that the doctor seemed to understand that.

“Do you have a lot of cases like mine?”

“Famous ones, no. But back problems, yes. In some situations, though, surgery is merely out of the question for the cost is rather high. They just go through as much treatment as they can and use that will and drive to get better. You have overcome a lot, AJ, and you certainly have the resolve to push through this, to overcome this. But at the same time, in the way your spinal cord is damaged, pushing through might damage it even more. You are limited, yes, but just having therapy without the surgery could really make it worse, to could all the possibilities and make them fly right out the window.”

“I guess, I’m not quite following. What exactly are you referring to? He can’t move.” The doctor turned a bit and smiled at Denise.

“That’s not true. He has function of his arms, his head, his upper body. It’s his lower body that can’t move. He can talk, eat, swallow, blink, those kinds of things. He can’t walk or dance, and by that, he is limited. The discs in the spinal cord are rather simple to break and damage, if done properly. They even out the pressure along the spinal cord. When one breaks, it’s like a road accident. One car piles up, than two, three and so on. He already has two broken discs and damage to the cord. Without surgery to fix those, and merely just doing therapy, his likely to break more discs, do more damage to the spinal cord, which could than make it a full paralysis rather than just the lower part. He would than be confined to a bed for the rest of his life and the chances of any surgery even helping are useless.” Well, if that was you, and you were given those options, what one would you pick? Really? I rubbed my eyes and sighed.

“Okay, so I could end up doing a lot worse. Got it. That’s a con to not having the surgery. So, talk to me a little bit more about the surgery.” Doctor Marshall cleared his throat and shifted a bit before flipping to a page on the clipboard that showed a spine.

“Like any surgery, it’s dangerous.”

“I know, I had my knee operated on a while ago.”

“Good, I mean, you know what surgery is like. As I have made it aware, anything concerning the back and the spine is dangerous. There really isn’t one safer road than the other. You run risks either way.” He cleared his throat again and showed me where the damage was done on my spine. “If we operate, we go in here, replace these two discs and try to fix any damage we can to the cord. Not everything is fixable, and things are certainly tighter, the tissue, the muscle and you do have to work it out, which is why you will still need therapy afterwards.”

“Doctor Marshall, I know exactly what you are explaining. I know the after effects of surgery. I want to know what the chances are that this would be successful.” The doctor looked up and glanced at each face before finally turning to look back at me.

“Mr. McLean, I’ve done this surgery quite a few times, and I’ve never lost one patient, I wouldn’t let you be the first. I’ve had to replace discs, and fix cords, although, I’ve never had to do it at the same time. The rate of success is high. But at the same time, to overcome it, to push through and be almost as good as new with the extensive damage you have had done to it, isn’t the best. In my professional opinion, for whatever it is worth, it’s the best choice for you to make. You’ve had damage to your back before and without the surgery, you are taking a very huge unnecessary risk.” And there you have it. The line between worse and the worst was rather thin and very gray. The success rate of having both fixed wasn’t good yet I could totally screw up my back if I didn’t take that surgery. “It’s a lot to think about. I’ll be around for the next few days Mr. McLean, so just let your doctor know when you are ready to talk to me. Either way you go, I understand.” He offered a smile to me, than the rest of the guys before leaving.

“Honey, that’s a huge risk.”

“I know mom. But to go without it, is even worse.”

“AJ, you don’t have…”

“Howie, I need to. Performing is my life, and everyone in this room knows that. I’m nothing if I don’t have that stage.” Resa walked up and took my hand, giving me a very warm smile.

“You guys know AJ as well as I do. Do you want this man whining for the rest of his life because he’s not able to do anything?” Everyone chuckled, including me. “AJ has the will, the drive, the resolve to overcome this, to push past this. He won’t quit and yet he won’t screw himself over anymore. And if nothing else, he has the support of every one of us and then some.” There it was in a nut shell. My best friend just voiced my thoughts and gave my answer. Without really stopping to think about it, I knew what I was going to do. I think we all did. Take the surgery and screw what could happen!