He was a failure.
He knew he had failed and this made him boil knowing Jason was laughing in the back of his head.
"I told you so, dear brother."
"Shut up!!!" Russell shouted to no one....he was all alone on the empty road. He started to walk, muttering to himself.
He would find his destination soon enough.
Kevin lay in the hospital bed, resting after he was taken to his room. He worried if the others were okay, how they were doing. He did a lot of thinking about what he should have done, but he was grateful to even have survived the accident with just the broken ankle.
Kevin sometimes wondered if it would be better if they broke up after this whole thing was over. He knew the group was already rocky to begin with and it killed him to admit that to himself. He'd always been the strong one but right now he felt very weak, wishing there was something he could do. He wanted to go back in time, make sure none of this happened.
"Do you really think we will be here in ten years doing this, Kevin?" Brian had asked him just the day before the bus crash.
Kevin had looked out the window of the tour bus, sighing. They could hear Nick and AJ squabbling over something stupid in the bunk area, but it was ignored for now.
"Honestly, if I really stop to think about it....no. It kills me to think like that though, Brian. The way things are going I don't see us finishing this damn tour." he said softly.
Brian nodded, shredding up a paper napkin like he always did when he was nervous.
"I hate to say it, but I agree with you. Nick is so distant these days and I heard he is planning a solo album. You know he could leave any time he wanted to."
"That is the problem, Nick doesn't want to....but I wouldn't be surprised if he or AJ left. They just seem so unhappy and I feel like we are losing them." Kevin explained. He'd tried to bond with Nick but all the kid did now was push everyone away.
"Maybe we should all do something after tour together, like a camping trip....we used to love spending time together." Brian suggested. Kevin smiled at his cousin, forever the optimist. However he knew that this group was unraveling and all he could do was watch it fall apart....
Kevin had fallen asleep a while ago, still in the hospital and consumed by his thoughts, but he was worried briefly about the others again. A doctor told him he would check again and not to worry, so Kevin thought a little sleep couldn't hurt.
Kevin was startled by the sudden commotion outside his room. People were yelling, he saw a nurse run by.
"Did you see which way he went? Security is on their way up!" she shouted.
Something told him he needed to start worrying again.