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As the jet touched down in Tokyo, Suheera felt her pulse begin to race. Although the city of huge skyscrapers frightened her, she knew Howie and Marcus would keep her safe, she trusted them. They were soon whisked away in a large tour bus and taken to a five-star hotel.

As they settled into their suite, she finally began to relax. The hotel was the nicest she had ever seen, with marble in the bathroom and the softest linens she’d ever felt. The view of the surrounding buildings left her breathless, she’d never seen so many crammed into one place.

“What do you think of the city?” Howie asked while unpacking his bag.

“I have never seen such crowds before!”

“Hard to believe so many people live here, isn’t it?” He’d carefully explained everything that she’d see and be expected to do, what his schedule would be like and who they were traveling with. He didn’t want anything to catch her off guard or upset her, he was sure that this trip could make or break his relationship with her. “Some people live in apartments that are smaller than this suite.”

“Really? I could never do that!”

Howie laughed. “Your clothes wouldn’t fit, would they?”

“Be quiet!” she teased. “You have just as many clothes as I do.”

“That’s true,” he admitted. He glanced down at his watch. “Can you be ready for dinner in two hours?”

“Of course, can you?” She squealed and ducked the flying pillow. “Missed me, ha!” But she didn’t see the second pillow and it smacked her right in the face.

“I’m so sorry, Suheera! Are you ok?” He rushed to her side, she hadn’t said a word. She swung the pillow in her hand and walloped him upside the head, giggling madly. “Oh, so that’s how it’s gonna be!” Howie grabbed another pillow and soon a fight was on, the two of them laughing so hard they didn’t hear the knock on their door.

“Children, please!” Marcus said, standing in the doorway. “Do you think you can keep the noise level down, huh?”

Sheepishly they dropped the pillows. “Sorry Uncle Marshmallow, we’ll behave like good little children now,” Howie said with a smirk.

“Uncle Marshmallow my ass!” he growled. “I need to see you in my room in five minutes.”

As the door closed, they both burst out laughing again. “I hope I did not get you in trouble,” Suheera said.

“Oh no, Marcus is just being a grouch - he doesn’t mean it. He’s just jealous because he’s usually the one who starts these things.” He threw the pillows back on the bed. “It’s probably just a quick team meeting about security. Why don’t you take a hot bath? The tub will help you relax after all the stress of traveling.”

“Sounds like a good idea, I think I will.” She gave him a quick kiss and headed off to the bathroom. Howie wished he could join her, the tub looked big enough for four, let alone two, but they were still not at that stage of their relationship. He understood that it was going to take time, but a man could only take so much without exploding.

When she joined him for a late dinner, Howie marveled at just how beautiful she looked. Instead of her usual loose fitting clothes, she wore a more form fitting kaftan, one that didn’t disguise her curves. She’d made up her eyes, giving them an even more smoky appearance. Her hijab was a fine, sheer silk and she wore no under scarf so that her hair shone a deep brown beneath it. With the veil pinned up to cover her lower face, she looked mysterious and sultry.

Howie escorted her to the private dining room, where they joined the rest of their party. Suheera unpinned the veil, the dinner party the week before had gone so well that she felt completely comfortable with Howie’s band mates and their families. She even laughed at AJ’s jokes, toned down of course because of Suheera and the two kids. Howie had begged them to be on their best behavior this trip and so far they had complied, they all could see just how important Suheera was to him.

Howie ordered her dinner, careful to get something he thought she would like. Suheera was open to experimenting with new foods, but he knew she had her limits, and there were things that she wasn’t allowed to eat. He figured she might not appreciate eating octopus or something else exotic. She sipped at a glass of wine.

“Go easy on the sake, Suheera,” Howie warned. “It doesn’t seem like much right now, but it’ll sneak up on you later.” But as dinner went on, he forgot to watch how much she drank and by the time they left the private dining room, Suheera was quite unsteady on her feet.

She was glad Howie took her elbow and guided her through the hotel restaurant. He’d been right about the sake, she’d never felt this way before. She noticed all the eyes that turned her way - appreciative glances from the men, and jealousy from the women.

“Why are they staring at me, Howie?” she asked as they walked towards the elevators. She’d left the veil unpinned, unusual for her while appearing in public.

“Because you are a beautiful, exotic flower,” he whispered.

“I am not pretty, look at me,” she pointed to her reflection in the mirror. “My stepmother and my half sisters all told me I was the ugliest girl they had ever seen.”

“They lied,” AJ said, coming to stand next to them in the elevator. “You are one of the most stunning women I’ve ever seen.”

“And he’s seen a lot of women,” Howie said with a laugh.

“Very funny,” AJ said. “Really, Suheera, I mean it. Perhaps they were all jealous of you. I don’t know why they lied, but you have to believe that you are definitely not ugly.” He was about to extol further on her virtues but a look from Howie stopped him. Instead he just made small talk as they found their way back to their rooms.

“It’s been a long day, sweetheart, and I bet you’re tired. And you’ve had too much to drink,” Howie said as he closed the door behind them, keeping a hand on her arm to keep her from falling over. “You’re not used to traveling, you should try to get some sleep,” he said when she protested it was still early.

“Can I just sit and watch television with you for a while?” she asked.

“Sure.” He got them each a bottle of water from the mini fridge and flipped on the flat screen. Suheera sat down next to him, letting him hold her close. He breathed in her unique scent, he never tired of it.

“I like this new snuggly you,” he said. When they were together around other people, she usually kept him at arm’s length. She allowed him to hold her hand or hug her only when no one was around to see.

“I like to feel your arms around me, makes me feel safe,” she said.

“Good, I like to feel you in my arms too.” For a while they watched a local show, subtitled in English. Suheera yawned; he felt her body relax into him.

“Will I see you in the morning?” she asked sleepily.

“Probably not until the afternoon, we have early morning interviews.” He kissed the side of her head. “I’m sure that Leighanne will want to go shopping. I’ll have her check in with you in the morning, ok?”

“That sounds like fun.” Minutes later she was softly snoring in his ear. With a grin, he picked her up and carried her into her room and laid her on the bed. He didn’t dare attempt to get her into her night clothes, he figured she would wake up on her own later and change. He closed her door and went back to the TV, but soon retired to his own room.

Howie woke up later, disoriented, and then remembered he was in Tokyo. He snuggled deeper into the covers, and then suddenly realized he wasn’t alone in bed. Suheera laid behind him, an arm draped over his chest, her fingers buried in his chest hair.

He turned over so that they were face to face. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. “I want you to make love to me,” she whispered.

“No you don’t,” he whispered back. “That is the sake talking.” He looked over at the clock; he’d only been in bed an hour. He knew just how drunk Suheera had been earlier, he felt she was probably still under its influence.

“Please, Howie?” When she wiggled closer to him, he realized that she was completely naked. He groaned, trying to resist the temptation.

“You need to go back to your own bed,” he said firmly.

“I don’t want to,” she pouted. “I want to make love.”

“If we did, you’d be upset in the morning,” he whispered. She pulled his head down for a long kiss and pressed her body against his, he could feel her taut nipples pressing against his chest. With a groan he pushed her away. “No more sake for you, sweetheart, ever again.” He led her back to bed, helped her put on her nightgown and tucked her safely back under the covers.

It took all his willpower to walk away from her. He could make love to her and she probably wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. But he’d know what he’d done, and Howie couldn’t live with that. He closed his own bedroom door and turned the lock, just in case she decided to try again. He didn’t know if he could turn her away a second time.

Howie was up at 5am the next morning and dressed for a long morning of interviews. He peeked in at Suheera, she was sound asleep. As he left his room, he ran into Brian and Leighanne.

“Do you mind checking in on Suheera after while?” he asked Leighanne. “I imagine she’s going to have the hangover from hell this morning.”

“She drank that much last night?” Brian asked.

“I woke up last night to find her in my bed, naked, wanting to make love.”

“You didn’t!” Leighanne said, ready to jump on Howie for misbehaving.

“Don’t worry; I didn’t take advantage of the situation. Although I was sorely tempted,” he admitted with a wry smile.

“Good for you,” Leighanne said. “I’ll see if I can’t distract her with some retail therapy.” Howie thanked her and took off towards the elevators with Brian.

“Did you really sleep with her and just tell Leighanne what she wanted to hear?” Brian said, curious.

“I took her back into her own room – and then locked my door because I didn’t trust myself,” Howie said with a laugh.

After breakfast, Leighanne knocked on Howie’s door. Suheera answered, dressed in a silk hotel robe and looking far worse than she had the night before. “You feel that bad?” Leighanne asked.

“I have had better mornings,” Suheera said softly. She invited Leighanne to come inside.

“Why don’t you take a shower and get dressed, I’ll order you some breakfast and then we’ll go out shopping. Spending money always makes me feel better after a bad night.”

Later that afternoon, the two sat in a restaurant, lingering over a late lunch. One of the group’s bodyguards sat at another table, close enough to protect them but far enough away to give them a little privacy.

“I have only had one real girlfriend before,” Suheera told Leighanne. “I met her while I was in school in Baghdad. We used to confide in each other all the time, not that we really had anything to keep secret,” she laughed.

“Having girlfriends is great. Sometimes it really helps to have another woman to talk to, someone who understands you,” Leighanne said. “Especially if you aren’t close to your mother.”

Suheera was quiet for a bit. “I have never really had a mother. My real mother died giving birth to me and my stepmother despised me, she treated me worse than the servants.”

“I’m sorry for that, Suheera. I can’t imagine growing up in a household where you weren’t loved.” She took a long sip of tea. “If there’s anything that you want to talk about, I’m always here for you.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” Leighanne thought that maybe Suheera was going to open up to her, but she remained quiet.

That night at the concert, Suheera sat with Leighanne and Baylee in the audience. She didn’t want to call attention to herself so she’d worn a plain tunic and hijab. Leighanne watched her closely, ready to pull her backstage if she seemed to be getting overwhelmed, but she soon saw that Suheera was mesmerized with watching Howie onstage. She smiled to herself; the Boys had so much stage presence and energy that you couldn’t help yourself.

Suheera found she could not sit demurely and watch the concert as she’d intended. The girls around her screamed and danced and sang along, it was so contagious she soon joined in. By the end of the show she was exhausted but exhilarated, her pulse pounding, and she wanted more.

In the bus going back to the hotel, she couldn’t sit still. Howie grinned; he knew the music would win her over. “Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked.

“Yes! I have never had so much fun before in my life!” Her eyes were shining brightly and she squeezed his hand. Sometime during the concert her veil had come unpinned and she hadn’t even noticed. “When is the next show?”

Howie laughed, it made him happy to see her like this. Suheera was like a butterfly, shedding her protective cocoon of shyness and insecurity to become the radiant woman she was destined to be.

“There’s another show tomorrow night. But I’m not sure I can find you a ticket,” he teased. Suheera’s face fell.

“Don’t worry, if mean old Howie won’t take you I will,” AJ said with a smile, winking at his band mate to let him know he wasn’t trying to move in on his girl.

She stuck her lower lip out in a pout. “You two are just messing with me!” Howie laughed again, she had already learned many new American phrases, fortunately none of the obscene ones.

“You’ll always have a ticket, my love,” he whispered in her ear.

Their time in Japan flew by way too quickly for Howie; he was truly enjoying this trip and the new Suheera he was seeing. Instead of flying to their third appearance, the group opted to ride the bullet train to Osaka, traveling at nearly 200 miles per hour.

“Can I ask you something?” Suheera said, watching the countryside slide by at an alarming rate. Howie nodded, entranced by the sight as well. “As much as I love taking care of you, doing that and going to mosque just are not enough to keep me busy.”

“I’m sure we can find something for you to do.” He turned to look at her face. She was veiled, as usual, but he could see she was sincere in her request and not just idly complaining. “Do you want to find a job so that you have your own money?”

“No, that is not it. I am just…bored.”

“I understand. Leighanne started her own business to stay busy; you could always talk to her about it. Maybe she would have some ideas?”

“You do not have any objection to me working?” she asked hesitantly.

“Of course not. I’d love for you to get out of the house more.” He took her hand and squeezed it gently. “Maybe you’d like to go to school? There are several universities nearby, or trade schools.”

“What is a trade school?” Suheera asked.

“It’s where you go to learn a specific skill, like fixing cars, computer science or photography or even cooking.”

“They have schools to learn how to cook?” She was intrigued, she’d never heard of that before.

“They’re quite popular. Many people go to school to learn to be chefs and then go on to work at restaurants – or even open their own restaurant.”

Suheera was still thinking about school as they pulled into the Osaka station. When she’d asked Fareed the same question, he’d told her that she’d be much too busy taking care of their children to work outside of the home. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be chained to the house as her mother had been.

On the final day of their trip, Leighanne and Suheera went for one last shopping excursion before heading back to the United States. They were booked on an overnight flight so they had plenty of time to kill before they had to be at the airport.

“Did you know there is a large Islamic community in Tokyo?” Leighanne asked, Suheera shook her head. They were once again in Tokyo; the ride back on the bullet train wasn’t nearly as exciting as the first one had been. “Muslim men from several countries come here to work, there are more jobs here than at home. Close to the Islamic Center are some shops I thought you might like.”

So far Leighanne had been unable to convince Suheera to purchase anything for herself. She’d bought Howie some clothes, with Leighanne’s help, and some mementoes but nothing to wear, despite the relative low cost of silk in the stores.

The stores were exactly what Suheera had been hoping to find, and she happily spent several hours shopping. They offered clothes which were stylish and well made, but kept her modesty intact. “Will Howie be mad that I am spending so much of his money?” she asked Leighanne over lunch. At her feet were shopping bags filled with clothes and head scarves of a quality she was unable to find in Los Angeles. “My father insisted that I wear nice clothes, but my stepmother would only allow me to have two nice outfits, for when I went out in public. The rest of the time I wore her worn out clothes.”

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about, honey. Howie is generous to a fault.” The more Leighanne learned of Suheera’s childhood, the more thankful she became that Howie had brought her back. No one knew much about her, Howie had not shared much information at all. And Suheera was reticent to talk about herself.

“I think that is a good thing, it appears I bought half the store,” she laughed, and then excused herself to the restroom. Leighanne noticed Suheera’s cell phone on the floor; it must have fallen from her bag when she stood up. She laid it on the table next to her own plate as a reminder to give it back to her. A moment later it beeped softly; she couldn’t help but look down at it.

The text message was from a number identified as Fareed. It read ‘I know I promised not to text you while you’re with him, but I can’t help it. I miss you so much and can’t wait to see you again, call me when you get back.’

“You dropped your phone,” Leighanne said when Suheera returned. She slid the phone across the table. Suheera glanced down; the text message from Fareed was clearly visible. “Are you seeing someone behind Howie’s back?” she asked. Leighanne normally didn’t get involved in Brian’s co-worker’s lives, even though they all felt like family. But she couldn’t ignore the message; she cared too much for Howie.

“No, I am not. They are both well aware of each other,” Suheera said.

“So you are dating two men at the same time? Why, isn’t Howie good enough for you?”

“Howie cannot give me what Fareed can,” she said softly.

“Do you love Fareed?” she asked. Leighanne knew Howie was madly in love with Suheera, she could see it in his eyes every time he looked at her. And she thought that Suheera loved him back, although now she had her doubts about that.

“I am…fond of him. Many Muslim women do not love their husbands when they first marry. It comes over time,” she said. “I do not need love, Leighanne. It is only a complication.”

“Then you’re fooling yourself, Suheera. Everyone needs love.”

“I have lived for 28 years without it, I can live the rest of my life without it as well,” Suheera declared. “What I need is respect and security.”

“But Howie can give you that too, and he loves you.”

“But Fareed reminds me of home. He is familiar and predictable. I know what he will say and how he will act. He is Muslim to the core of his being. I know our children will be raised in the Islamic traditions that I was raised with.”

“Howie cannot give you that, but he has plenty of other wonderful things to offer,” Leighanne said.

“Fareed and Howie are very much alike, actually. They are both warm, kind, generous, successful and handsome men. They treat me with more respect than I deserve,” she said with a sigh. She looked at Leighanne; there was no anger on her face, only concern. She decided she could confide in her. “I would be lucky to have either of them, considering that six months ago I was an outcast to society.”

“Why is that?” Leighanne asked.

“Because I was an unmarried woman who was no longer a virgin.”

“I don’t understand how that is a problem,” Leighanne said. “Very few women in America are still virgins when they marry.”

“Things are different in the Islamic culture, Leighanne. Muslim men expect their wives to come to their marriage beds as virgins, unless they are widows. Fareed is unhappy that I am not one, I am fortunate that he is willing to overlook it. Many Muslim men would not even consider me.”

“If all young women are virgins, how did…” Leighanne faltered, she didn’t want to offend Suheera. She knew the young woman was intensely private. “Do you mind me asking how…?”

Suheera looked around to make sure no one could eavesdrop on them, and then told the woman her story. Leighanne was amazed at what Suheera had gone through, and saddened that the young woman had had so much heartache in her life. “Howie is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I cannot be with him,” she said sadly.

“Why not?” Leighanne asked.

“Howie feels responsible for me because he took my innocence. He tells himself he is in love with me; he paid a huge dowry for me. But I cannot marry him, even though he has asked me several times already. I do not belong in his world, I would never fit in. I am better off marrying a Muslim.”

“So you will marry a man you don’t love because you think Howie isn’t really in love with you, and because you don’t think you need love to survive?”

Suheera nodded, she looked miserable. “I do not deserve someone like Howie.”

“What a load of bullshit, pardon my French,” Leighanne said. Suheera was shocked at the woman’s language; she’d never heard a woman curse before. “I’ve known Howie for many years; he’s got more common sense then most men. He doesn’t spend money on foolish things, he doesn’t make promises he can’t keep, and he doesn’t give his heart away to just anyone. If he said he loves you, then he does. And if he asked you to marry him, then in his heart he believes that you are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with.”

“I mean no disrespect to Howie…” Suheera stuttered.

“He may get mad at me, but I’m going to tell you something he doesn’t like to talk about.” She found her mouth suddenly dry, she took a sip from her water bottle. “Howie was deeply in love with a woman. They were together for six years but he never asked her to marry him.”

“Why not?” Suheera asked.

“Because he wasn’t 110% sure she was the right woman for him. Howie never commits to something unless he’s positive it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know someone hurt him deeply. Did she leave him because he would not marry her?”

“Yes, she did. I asked him if he would do anything differently next time and he said no. He said he wouldn’t ask a woman to marry him unless he truly knew she was the one.”

“He has not gone out with a woman since then?” she asked. “He told me it had been several years.”

“Not as far as I know. When you are hurt that badly, you don’t think that you’ll ever find love like that again,” Leighanne said. “Suheera, Howie has never asked a woman to marry him before – and he’s asked you several times. I would bet everything I own that Howie is truly in love with you. I know him, he wouldn’t ask you because he felt like he owed you or because of money, he isn’t like that at all.”

“Maybe I have underestimated him,” she admitted.

“Do you love him?” Leighanne asked.

“From the first moment I saw him,” she whispered. “But love has nothing to do with marriage.”

“It has everything to do with marriage, honey.” She reached out and took Suheera’s hand. “You aren’t in Iraq anymore. In America, you are free. You can marry anyone of any age, nationality, religion, even gender,” she said, laughing at Suheera’s startled face.

“Homosexual marriage is permitted here?”

“In some states, yes. Not everyone agrees it’s a good thing, but because we value freedom of choice it’s an option.” Leighanne gathered up her shopping bags. “Come on, we need to head back to the hotel. We can talk some more in the car.”