Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2013

Chapter 43

Jessi

I made a stop by the bathroom to freshen up a bit.  By the time I get to Nick’s bus, he’s gone.  I look around, noticing it’s a little messy and disorganized.  I sit quietly on a bench, gathering my thoughts. I am SO nervous about seeing him again.  I know he’s furious with me. It will be even worse when he finds out I threw myself at Donnie.  But I have to tell him the truth.  After running the way I did, I owe him honesty.  Even if it means losing him.

I cover my face with my hands and I pray for strength. For a long time, I thought God had abandoned me.  But He had to be watching to keep Paul from raping me last night.  I feel the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  I lift my head to find Nick standing in the door.  Staring at me.

I lower my hands to my knees and wait for him to say something.  Finally, he says, “You’re back.”

I nod and whisper, “Yeah.”

He leans against the wall and crosses his arms. “Are you ok?”

I shrug letting my gaze fall from his.  My courage seems to escape me so I whisper, “Sure.”

I don’t see him move until he drops to his knees in front me, forcing my gaze to his. “Don’t do that Jessi.”

I start to reach for him, but I stop.  I put my hand back in my lap.  He inches closer and whispers, “Jessi…”

I slowly let the tears fall.  “I’m sorry Nick.  I’m sorry about leaving like I did. Without a word. I didn’t have a choice.”

He nods. “I know Jessi. After you left, I realized why you did it.”

I see the hurt on his face.  “I do trust you, Nick. But these men…they were dangerous.  I couldn’t put you and Hanna Jo in danger like that.”

He nods.  “But it’s over now, right?”  I look down again and he sighs. “What is it, Jessi? What’s wrong?”

Without looking up I ask quietly, “Do you know how Hanna and I got back here?”

He leans back on his heels. I feel his eyes burning into me, but I can’t look at him.  “No, I had a few interviews this morning about the solo tour. Why? What is it?”

Before I can answer, there’s a knock at the door and someone yells, “Time for the press, Nick!”

He yells back loudly, “I’m not doing it!”  My eyes move up to meet his. “I’m not leaving until you talk to me.”

I nod, knowing he means it.  Taking a deep breath, I whisper, “One of my…clients…at the bank was Paul Wahlberg…”

Forty-five minutes later, Nick is sitting across from me with a look of horror and anger on his face.  “So, after the trial, Paul came after you?”

I nod. “Yeah.  Wesley was working for Paul.  He knew where I was all along and showed up after the trial was over.”  Looking down, I mutter, “I still have to call Thad about it.”

Nick leans forward, reaching out to take my hands. “Did he…hurt you?”

I meet his gaze, bile rising in my throat.  “He would have.  If Donnie hadn’t showed up.”

His eyes flash.  “Donnie?  How did he know?”

I sigh.  “He called Paul and I knew it was him. Hanna and I both yelled for help. He showed up a few hours later and, well, he stopped Paul.”

He seems relieved.  But he knows there’s more.  “Then what happened, Jessi?”

I sigh. “I kissed him.” 

We just stare at each other.  I don’t know what to say.  I’m sure he’s in the same boat.  Just as I start to stand to leave, the door opens and in walks Donnie. “Hanna told me you two were out here and that Nick was upset.  I thought I better come and explain.”

Nick jumps up. “Why the fuck did you kiss my girlfriend?”

Donnie just stares at me.  I grab Nick’s arm. “Nick, he didn’t kiss me. I kissed him. He…he stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life.”

Donnie jumps in. “Nick, my brother is a sick bastard.  When I found out he was with Jessi and Hanna Jo, I knew I could stop him. I…” He looks at me.  “Jessi was just grateful I stopped him and, I guess for a moment, I was the guy I was eleven years ago in your eyes, wasn’t I?”  I just nod, dropping my hand from Nick’s arm.  Donnie looks back to Nick. “I’m not that person anymore, and she knows it.  I told you before, as I told her and Hanna too, I know you to have something special.  I know I was an ass, but I was jealous. I’m not anymore. I’m deeply ashamed of what my brother did and well…anyway, I brought her back because she belongs with you.”

He leaves quickly.  Nick turns to me. I lower my eyes. “I’m sorry Nick. I’ll go.”

He reaches for my hand.  “Jessi, wait.”  I force my gaze up to meet his. His gaze softens as he opens his arms.  I fall against his body and sob as he folds his arms around me gently.

We end up on the bed, tangled in each other’s arms. He rubs my back and hums.  I’m so tired, I could sleep forever.  But I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to miss this.  I play with a button on his shirt and whisper, “Nick, do you…”

When I stop talking, he gives me a little squeeze.  “Do I what?”

Deciding it’s really time to lay it all out, I cautiously continue. “Do you really consider me your girlfriend?”

I can hear the smile in his voice.  “Yeah, I think I do.  I know we haven’t known each other long and we’ve had some issues, but I still want to be with you Jessi.”

I can’t stop myself.  “But why?”

He pushes me onto my back and hovers over me. “Jessi, you’ve dealt with a lot of shit in your life, but look at you.  You’re a strong woman. And you put up with the bullshit that is my life.  At least, you have for the last few weeks.  I’m not saying it will be all sunshine and roses, but I’m going to try to make it that for you.  Because you deserve it.”

I bring up my hand and touch his face.  He turns his head to kiss it gently.  “Nick, I don’t know if I’m ready for…”

He smiles at me. “You don’t have to be ready for anything.  Let’s just get to know each other.  Go out on dates.  You know, actually BE a couple. Having sex won’t make you any more my girlfriend than cuddling will.”  He glances down at my body then back up to my face. “But it’d damn sure be fun!”

I can’t help but giggle.  He lies back down and holds me tightly.  “Let’s just get to know each other again, Jessi.  Everything else will happen when it’s supposed to.”