Project: nkotBSB

By Dottie

Copyright 2013

Chapter 47

Jessi

I can’t believe my eyes.  Then again, I couldn’t believe AJ when he said Hanna Jo and Brian were all over each other.  When I confronted Brian, he said it was true, but Hanna Jo was drunk.  I was frantic trying to find her.  When she’s drunk, she doesn’t make the best choices.  And what I see before me proves it.

Hanna Jo in on her knees undoing Donnie’s pants.  He’s standing there, moaning so loud, I’m sure they hear it at the end of the hallway.  “HANNA JO WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Donnie glares at me, one of his hands braced on the back of the couch, the other wrapped in Hanna Jo’s hair.  “What we’re doing is none of your business, Jessi.  Get out!”

I glare at him.  “Donnie, she’s drunk. Do you really think she knows what she’s doing at this point?”

He glances down at her then back at me.  I turn my gaze to hers.  “Hanna Jo, I don’t think this is what you really want to do, is it?”

Even under the veil of alcohol, she realizes the predicament she’s in.  She pushes away from Donnie and mutters in a slurred voice, “What’s going on Jessi?”

I can see Donnie’s body shaking.  He steps away from Hanna Jo and mutters, “Couldn’t you just leave?”

I bring my eyes to meet his gaze and whisper violently, “NO! I will NOT let Hanna Jo be treated like a whore!”

Hanna Jo struggles to her feet.  Donnie grabs her elbow and steadies her.  “It wasn’t my intention to treat her that way, Jessi.  I didn’t realize she was drunk.  I just thought she was pissed at McLean and was willing to give me a chance.”

I stare at his face.  He seems sincere.  “Donnie, if I’m wrong, I’m sorry. I just…I can’t let Hanna Jo go through what I did. It just…”

He helps Hanna Jo to a couch and she falls over in a heap.  He turns to me.  “Jessi, don’t. Really.  I didn’t realize she was drunk.  It was a misunderstanding. I’d never do anything to hurt her.  Or you.”

Suddenly I realize how close I’m standing to him. And how HOT he looks.  And how tingly my body feels.  I try to swallow the lump in my throat and whisper, “Maybe I should get Hanna Jo out of her and let you get dressed.”

He smiles at my blush and steps closer.  “Why don’t you have AJ take care of Hanna Jo and you and I can talk?  Like old times?  Just talk, ok?”

He’s so close I feel the heat from his skin. I smell him.  And dammit I want to step closer.  I manage to step away and whisper, “Some other time.  I need to get Hanna Jo back to our bus and sober her up.”

He shrugs on a t-shirt and asks gently, “Need some help?”

Before I can reply, the door open and Joe walks in with Brian.  I smile at Donnie and whisper, “No thanks.”  Raising my voice, I say, “Brian can you help me get Hanna Jo back to Nick’s bus?”

As we’re leaving, I turn to Donnie and say, “Sorry for jumping to conclusions.”

He smiles.  OK, he smirks.  And he says, “Don’t worry about it. Talk to you soon?”

His question hangs in the air. I shrug and whisper, “Maybe,” before following Brian out the door.  I sigh watching as he maneuvers a staggering Hanna Jo through the crowd and out to the parking lot.

Glancing over his shoulder, he says, “You sure about Nick’s bus?”

I catch up and hold Hanna Jo’s other arm.  “Yeah, I’m sure. I think Hanna Jo needs to talk about what going on with her and AJ.”

After Brian gently guides her onto Nick’s bus and settles her on the couch to sleep, he turns to me.  “Jessi, are you really ok?  Nick is really worried about you.”

I force a smile.  “I know he is.  I will be ok, Brian. I just come with a lot of baggage and I’m afraid Nick has to deal with it.  It’s not fair to him.”

He smiles and pats my arm. “He’s falling for you, Jessi.  I’ve never seen Nick THIS preoccupied with a woman. He only wants to help you get over whatever it is in your past that made you go away. Don’t push him aside now. Let him help you.”

I nod slightly.  “I’m trying Brian.” Clearing my throat, I whisper, “Thanks for helping me with Hanna Jo. Will you let Nick know she’s here?”

He hugs me quickly. “Sure thing.  The show’s gonna start soon. You coming?”

I shake my head.  “No, I think it’s time Hanna Jo and I have a serious talk about things.  Thanks Brian.”

After he leaves, I make coffee before waking Hanna Jo. “Hey, Ho Jo, wake up.”

She struggles to force her eyes open.  “What? Jessi? What’s going on?”

I help her sit up gently. “I stopped you from making the biggest mistake of your life.” At her questioning stare, I sigh. “You were almost giving Donnie a blow job.”

Her eyes grow wide. “NO! I wouldn’t!  Jessi, don’t tease me like that, it’s not funny!”

I shake her gently. “Do you THINK I’d tease about this? You were on your knees opening his pants. I damn sure know you weren’t measuring his inseam! Hanna Jo, why are fighting with AJ? What’s wrong?”

She closes her eyes and I think she’s going to doze off again.  I start to move and barely hear her whisper, “I told him I love him.”

I sit back again.  “So? Is that bad?”

She opens her eyes, tears leaking from the corners.  “Jessi, I’ve known him a couple of months.  He’s the only guy I’ve ever had sex with more than once…and he’s only the second guy I’ve ever had sex with! How can I know I love him?”

I rub her arm. “How can you know you don’t?”  She stares at me hard, trying to figure out what I’m saying.  “Hanna Jo, why can’t you love him?  Love at first sight isn’t unheard of you know?”

She gently sips her coffee before saying, “I don’t even know what love is.”

I smile.  “Close your eyes, Ho Jo.” When she does, I whisper, “Can you imagine a life without AJ in it?”

She thinks about it for a long time before shaking her head. “No. Jessi, I really, truly love him. But he thinks I’m using him.”

I move to the refrigerator and grab a bottle of orange juice.  As I twist it open, I say, “I don’t think he really believes that Hanna Jo.  And I think if you’re gonna prove to him you’re not, you’re gonna have to be on HIS bus, not Nick’s.”

She looks up at me.  “Jessi, are you and Nick ok?”

Not surprised at her changing the subject, I nod. “I think so.  We’re taking it slower now.  He…he understands I need time to process what’s happened.  He wants to date.  He wants me to be his girlfriend.”

Her eyes grow wider. “What about you Jessi?”

I can’t stop the tears that slip down my cheeks.  “I just want someone to love me, Hanna Jo.  I want to love someone.  I feel like I’ve been alone my whole life and the feeling I have with Nick is…I like that feeling. Like I belong with someone.  Like I belong TO someone.  But I’m so afraid.”

She stands and hugs me.  “Are you afraid he’ll hurt you?”

I push back, swiping the back of my hand on my face.  “No. I’m afraid I’ll hurt him.” Before she can question it, I admit, “Hanna Jo, I don’t think I’m over Donnie.  And it scares me.  I don’t WANT to want him…because I care about Nick.  Because of Paul and what he did.  I can’t…I don’t want to be around him and his family.  But my body…I can’t stop being attracted to him and it scares the shit out of me.  What do I do?”

She looks at me just as confused as I am. “Does Nick know?”

I shake my head. “How can I tell him that?”

From the doorway, a voice calls out softly, “You just did.”