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He was particularly glad that he wasn’t able to see his legs. They felt as if they weren’t a part of him anymore and he didn’t know if they actually still were.

He quickly pushed that thought out of his mind. He had enough gruesome details to worry about. He’d pretty much figured one of his hips was dislocated, judging by the white hot pain that coursed through it every time he moved, and the awkward angle it was bended in underneath the metal frame.

Anything below his hips felt frozen and numb. He’d tried to experimentally wriggle his toes, but that hadn’t lead to anything. He’d thought about all those movies he’d seen with people pinned under a wreckage. They’d either walk away without a scratch, or had half their bodies amputated.”

I smiled when I caught sight of him. He didn’t notice me, seemingly too busy with his phone. He just sat there, unconcerned about anything that went on around him. He didn’t see me until I was practically standing in front of him. Looking up, he gave me a tired smile, “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself,” I replied, walking up behind him and grabbing the handles of the wheelchair. “Am I late?”

“Nah,” he drawled, returning his gaze towards his phone again when he figured out he was going to be pushed towards the car without having to lift a finger. “We finished early.”

“Have you been outside the whole time?” I asked, a little concerned at the apparent lack of jacket. In my opinion, it was rather cold for May. That, and considering Brian wasn’t moving around a lot, I had reason to be concerned.

“We just finished, like five minutes ago,” Brian replied, a little annoyance slipping into his voice.

“Alright, alright. I was just asking,” I muttered.

Brian’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. I felt my heart sink a little, just like it always did when I studied him closely. He looked to be twenty years older than he actually was; the old fashioned blanket laying over his legs being the main reason for that. And the tired, pained expression on his face that seemed to be permanently there didn’t help either. “Why the heck did you park so far away anyway?” he asked.

“I thought we’d have a nice walk instead first, before being cramped up in the jeep,” I answered.

“Everyone can see us out here, Leigh,” he grumbled, as if I needed a lecture on public appearance after more than fifteen years.

I looked around and shrugged, not seeing a single soul in sight, “Doesn’t seem like anyone’s interested.”

He mumbled something inaudible before returning his attention once again to his phone. When we finally arrived at the jeep, he insisted on climbing in himself. I watched his struggle with a frown, but knew better than to step in and help him. He reminded me slightly of Baylee when the child had had this phase of doing everything on his own. Baylee had been three at that time, though. It took a whole of five minutes before Brian had himself seated, but he threw me a cocky, triumphant grin anyway. I smiled back at him, climbing into the jeep in a few seconds, after folding the wheelchair and dumping it in the trunk. Brian had quickly made sure to reposition the blanket around his lower half after he had climbed in, yet I couldn’t help but letting my gaze linger on the place where his right leg was supposed to be. I knew I made a mistake when he gave me a heated glare of annoyance and I quickly turned the ignition on. “So, what did you guys talk about?”

Brian kept staring at me for a couple more seconds before deciding to reply, “You know, the future and stuff.”

I nodded, putting the car in reverse and carefully backing up, “And what does this future look like?” I questioned. I knew we had talked about it a few times before, but Brian had never actually made the step to tell the guys.

“Well,” he drawled, intently looking out of the windshield, “tour starts again in September.”

I hit the brakes before I knew what I was doing and we both jerked against our seatbelts, “September?” I repeated, shocked.

“Uhuh,” my husband replied, avoiding my stare like a pro.

“That’s in four months, Brian!” I said, as if he didn’t realize that, “You can’t-”

“Can’t what?” Brian sneered, his eyes narrowed dangerously as he finally turned his face to me. I looked down at his legs again and he groaned, his face scrunching up in anger. “I can sing!” he growled.

I bit my cheek and decided not to give into the fight for now. I knew that just singing wouldn’t be enough for Brian, but he was nowhere close to being ready to hear that. “Maybe if you wouldn’t keep sending legs back,” I mumbled quietly.

“They don’t fit!” Brian exploded next to me, “Do I have to freaking spell it out before you believe me?”

“You won’t even try,” I accused, finally deciding to return to the task of at least getting us out of the parking lot. It wasn’t the first time we had this fight, and I knew he wouldn’t back down, just like I knew I wouldn’t stop bothering him with it either. Fact was, those legs cost a lot of money to keep having to send them back and order new ones. That, and the reasons he gave for them not fitting were more than questionable. By now I was pretty sure he just didn’t want them to fit. Sighing, I shook my head slightly, seeing him stare out of the window with a restrained expression. I bit my lip, feeling tears in my eyes. I wished we didn’t have to fight about this. I knew I shouldn’t push him into acceptance like this, but if he was keen on doing everything himself and not needing any help, and for Lord’s sake, going on tour in four months, he needed to accept his situation, and fast.
My resignation turned to worry when I saw him wince, “Are you okay?” I whispered softly. He nodded stiffly, not breaking his stare as his hand slipped into the pocket of his hoodie.

“Fine,” he mumbled.

“Your leg bothering you?” I persisted, already knowing the answer to that question anyway.

“It’s fine,” he hissed through clenched teeth, his hand turning into a fist inside his pocket. “Just drive.”

My mouth twisted when I noticed him retrieving the bottle of pills from his pocket, before popping two of them into his mouth. After a few minutes, he seemed to relax a little bit more. By now it was pretty much a given that he would always keep experiencing pain from his left leg. At the time, the option had been suggested to amputate part of that leg too, as it was too messed up inside to ever fully recover, but Brian had made sure to let the doctors know that there was no way in hell that was ever going to happen. One leg gone was more than enough. So instead, he hobbled along in physical therapy, his face scrunching up in pain as he put his full weight on his leg and tried to balance on it without falling. I had watched the therapy the first few times, but couldn’t stand to see the agony anymore.

“Did you know Nick is becoming a father?” His voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I instinctively stamped down on the brake pedal again, right before making a left turn.

“What?”

“Jeez,” he breathed, watching me with round eyes, “I do not care much for getting into another accident.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, setting the car into motion once again. “Nick?”

“I was as surprised as you are,” Brian said, his eyebrows raised, “seems like he hasn’t told anyone before now.”

“Wow,” I said, sitting back a little as we finally got onto the highway, “Nick Carter.”

“I know.”

“Poor child.”

“He’ll be fine once he get the hang on it,” Brian mumbled.

“Like how you got the hang on it?” I grinned back at him and he rolled his eyes.

“I was excellent,” He said indignantly.

“You’d think you’d never seen a diaper before,” I replied with a laugh.

“Well, I was the youngest child back home,” He said defensively, “And those things are tricky.”

“Sure they are,” I said with a smile, glad that the tension had disappeared. Evening was falling by the time we arrived home. Getting out of the car was decidedly easier than getting into it and Brian needed only two minutes before having himself seated in his chair with the blanket neatly draped over his legs again. He didn’t wait for me to get our stuff from the car before he raced down the driveway. He was astonishingly fast and I sighed, annoyed. This was what I got for driving him home.

“You’re like a child,” I said dryly when I caught up with him at the front door.

“Could you open the door please, ma’am?” He asked sweetly, a boyish smirk lifting the pained look from his eyes.

I laughed, deliberately slowly turning the key in the lock. I kept smiling when he brushed passed me and rolled into the hallway, spreading his arms. “Ladies and Gentlemen, the housekeeper is home!”

I nodded at Harold as I saw him appear from the kitchen, an amused expression on his face, but decidedly unimpressed by his brother’s sudden good mood. He held a fairly large package in his hands, extending it towards Brian, “Attempt number six,” he stated solemnly.

Brian halted immediately, looking a little bit taken aback by the package. We all kept silent, all of us knowing what was in there. Brian slowly rolled up to his brother, grasping unto the box with both hands and carefully laying it across his laps. He stared at it for a couple of seconds, lost in thought, and then looked up, “Thanks,” he muttered before pushing himself towards the gym on the left.

After Brian disappeared, Harold came to stand next to me, giving me a surprised, but still apprehensive look, “We didn’t even have to force him,” he said, astounded.

I shrugged, deciding that Brian would remain forever unpredictable. “Let’s just wait and see,” I said, a slight hint of worry lacing through my words.
Harold and I took our place in the living room; him getting lost behind his laptop and me reluctantly watching a rerun on television. It took over half an hour for Brian to return, but when he did, my heart surged. I rushed towards him when I saw him leaning heavily against the door frame, a tired, but satisfied grin splitting his face in two. I looked over his shoulder, catching sight of the wheelchair that stood abandoned, a few feet behind him. I saw tears brimming in his eyes and I looked down in shock, the unmistakable sight of the prosthetic leg catching my eye. All of his weight was supported by the door frame and I wasn’t positive he would be able to move, let alone walk on the thing yet, but that didn’t matter in the least.

“Does it fit?” I whispered, hearing my own tears penetrate my voice.

He nodded, and I felt the relief from him streaming into my own. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him close. He stumbled a little and I gladly took over some of his weight. For the first time in almost half a year he was taller than me again and I breathed a sigh I had been holding in for all that time. It didn’t matter that all the legs that Brian had sent back were the exact same size as this one. It didn’t matter in the least.

With a bit of grunting and stumbling, we moved over to the couch awkwardly, where Harold welcomed us with a huge smirk. “About time,” He grumbled.

“Shut up,” Brian answered.

I kept smiling, enjoying the banter between the two brothers. My smile faltered though when Brian retrieved the pills from his pockets again and popped two in his mouth. I had seen him doing the same thing not even two hours ago. I kept smiling when he looked at me, but inside, a cold kind of apprehension grew.