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Chapter 1
“As long as there will be music we’ll be coming baa-,” And then it was black.

It was a normal concert, like any, we were in our hometown, Orlando and the fellas and I were more than excited to be performing. It’s always good to end the tour where you know there will be hundreds of fans and it feels like home. We were on our encore song, just one song left after we would sing “Everybody,” and then we had a few months off before traveling for our European leg of the tour.

So, back to the “and then it was black park.” I was minding my business, singing my verse in the song and like I said, it just went black. It wouldn’t be for a couple days until I found out why exactly everything went black.

“Okay Carter, I have been up for four days straight, my hair is unwashed, I’ve been in five airports and I’ve put nothing in my stomach except for Dunkin Donuts coffee. What the hell did you do to yourself this time?” This is the part where I get to introduce a long life best friend of mine, who is supposedly caring, thoughtful and compassionate; meet Allayna.

I felt her take my hand into hers a lot more gentle than the tone of voice she carried into the room. My eyes opened and there she was, standing over my bed. A mix of emotion was worn on her face; sadness, tiredness and pissed off-ness.

“Hi to you too,” I said with a side smirk. “When did you get in?”

“Landed in Orlando about an hour ago and came right in.”

“You didn’t have to come from your trip in Australia.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to, but when I kept getting updates on you, and hearing that you’re being nothing but stubborn and a pain in the ass, I had no choice. Nick, of course I had to come. You’re my guy.” She let out a sigh, looked me up and down and then around the room that was full of monitors, a few balloons and a TV.

“Where did Vanessa go?” I asked, referring to my girlfriend.

“Grabbing some food with Brian I think.” She pulled up a chair to my bed. “Have they figured out how the hell the lighting fell from the stage and onto you yet?”

“Right now it’s still a freak accident.”

“Accident? Seriously? Obviously it wasn’t put together correctly. Did you hire some new roadies or what?” I didn’t answer. I didn’t like talking about it, when talking about it, it made that much more real. There was silence for a couple minutes before she spoke again. Allayna was not one for silence.

“Why are you refusing to eat and start therapy?”

“Lan, I don’t need lectures.”

“Obviously you do Nick. I am so sorry this happened to you. No one deserves this, but it’s only been a few days and you’re giving up.” I rolled my eyes, which she couldn’t see, since I was flat on my back, and all I could stare at was the ceiling. Which I may add needs a new paint job.

“You don’t understand.”

“Tell me.”

“You’re not the one who is paralyzed, will never walk or perform again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Doctors haven’t ruled anything out from the last I heard and since when are you a quitter? With everything you have gone through your life, you’re just going to give up without trying? You have a great support team and we’re going to get you’re the best therapy and Doctors that a Backstreet Boy’s income can get.” I know she was trying to make things a little lighter.

“Even if I can start moving my legs again, it will never be the same. I have two broken legs, a crushed pelvis, I had a kidney removed and-“

“And you’re alive.” Well, that shut me up. “You know what I am going to tell you.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Exactly. You were the one who will be able to handle this, so that’s why it happened to you.”

“But what if-“

“What if nothing. You have a lot of people that care, that love you and if you’re not going to start getting stronger for yourself; do it for us. You’re one of the least selfish people I know Nick. Don’t change that now.” I knew she was right and I knew why Brian stayed in contact and new why she was called first after the accident. She’s the only one I listen to and take everything she says to heart.

I bit my lower lip, and tried to take deep breaths, as I felt the back of my eyes start to burn and for the first time I wanted to cry. Allayna now stood up, carefully sat on the bed next to me and was brushing my long hair away from my forehead.

“You’re going to be okay Nick. I promise.” She kissed my forehead, cupped my face with her hands and had me look into her eyes. Something we did to each other when the other was taking a wrong turn somewhere.

“Ahem, sorry didn’t want to bother,” Vanessa’s voice broke our focus.

“You’re not.” Allayna said simply turning to face my girlfriend.

Yeah, I bet you’re wondering, best friend whom is a girl and girlfriend who is well, obviously a girl; how the hell does that work. Very carefully. Allayna was there before the fame, before the drama, and before any girlfriend. She will be there during and after. Vanessa, like other girlfriends, has a hard time understanding our closeness without the sexual tension and how it all works.

“I brought you some lunch Nick. Brian got you a sandwich out there for you Allayna.” Her voice seemed pleasant, tired, and a little edgy.

“Thanks but I’m not-,” I started.

“He’s famished. Thanks Ness.” If I could move, I would’ve slapped Allanya on the back because she knows Vanessa hates that nickname. “Nick, eat or I will personally put it down your throat. I am going to go eat, check into a hotel and shower and then I’ll be back.”

“Allayna, thank you.”

“If it were me, you’d be here.”

“You know it. I just already feel-,” She squeezed my
hand before I finished.

“Exactly. Now eat. Love you.” She kissed my cheek and stood up. “Feel free to sling shot his food down his throat.” Allayna told Vanessa before leaving. I couldn’t help but smile.