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October 2014 - Backstreet Cruise: Halloween Night

“C’mon boys, we’re gonna be late!”

“When are we ever on time?”

“We look absolutely ridiculous… someone remind me who’s idea this was again?”

“I don’t know, but I think we got this backwards… I feel like AJ should’ve been Dorothy, and you should’ve been the Scarecrow!”

“And why is that?”

“Well, AJ’s about that life, and you should’ve been Scarecrow because… he was looking for a brain.”

“Ha-ha, very funny Howard!”

“I wouldn’t have mind wearing the dress, at least my dick would’ve been able to breathe… this shit is making my balls itch!”

“Where the hell is Kevin?!”

Nick, Brian, Howie and AJ were all gathered outside of their cabins, surrounded by their security team and management, getting ready to head to the deck where they would be kicking off their Halloween themed party.

“You look… so ridiculous dawg!” Brian said as he twirled his fingers through Nick’s ponytail wig.

Nick immediately turned towards the older member and grabbed him in a smothering hug, “OH MY GOD BRIAN!!! You’re my favorite Backstreet Boy!” he squealed in a high pitch voice. “I wanna have your babies! Give me a kiss!”

As Brian tried to wrestle the nuisance away, Kevin finally emerged from his room, taking in the scene before him, “Nick, stop trying to molest Brian.”

The group groaned in relief at the appearance of the last member. “Finally! We’re always late to our own damn parties!”

“Ain’t nobody else had to paint their whole face with this green shit, that’s why I took so long!” Kevin explained in his defense, to which Howie, being Howard, didn’t say anything. He began shying away from AJ, who was now trying to poke at his shiny, green face. “It ain’t dried yet.”

“Dude, if Slash and Shrek were to have a baby, this is what it’d looked like.” AJ joked.

“You did NOT just call me a fucking ogre AJ.”

“Well, yeah… what else is green?”

“The Hulk!” Nick chimed in.

“Anyway…” Howie finally spoke up, “can we make our way out to the deck now please? I’m sure they’re all wondering where the hell we are!”

“My, my, look who has a heart, and to think we didn’t even see the Wizard yet!” Nick cracked in amazement as he linked his arm with Howie’s and began singing, “We’re off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz…”

Aside from being “Backstreet” late, the party went on without a hitch; their group costume causing an absolute uproar, and of course the highlight being Nick dressed up as Dorothy (to which they were completely unsure if the fans got more of a kick out of seeing Nick as Dorothy, or seeing Nick in a dress period). And although he loved the extra attention he was garnering from his costume, Nick couldn’t wait to remove it all and return out to the crowd, who was still raging on. He immediately situated himself behind the turntable, spinning out his remixed version of their original song “Everybody” and Ozzy Osbourne’s track “Crazy Train”.

“Ooooh I know ya’ll know this song…” AJ hyped up on the mic as he made his way around the stage. “I want everyone out on the fucking dance floor, put your hands up and give it up for my boy Nicky Nick on the ones and twos… because we’re about to get FUCKING CRAZY!!!”

Nick smirked as he watched the crowd feed off the music he was spinning out, and the energy AJ was stirring up. This is what he lived for, not only the attention, but watching how people absolutely submerged themselves within the music and got lost in it. It brought him back to his childhood days, where he would lock himself in his room, listen to the likes of Journey and enter another world where everything was how he could possibly want it to be.

He knew exactly what the fans meant when they said that their music saved them, in one way or another, because Lord knew that’s what other artists music did for him on his homefront. There was nothing he wanted more than to go out and give back to others what he got from music; be the one responsible for finding themselves through him. He thrived on bringing out the different angles and emotions of a human being, all through music, and he couldn’t imagine his life being any other way.

“What do you want Nickolas?”

Nick’s head immediately snapped up, hearing the haunting voice of his mother. His eyes glazed over; no one but his brothers and the crowd were still in front of him. He continued to stare out, the voice having been so clear, but resumed spinning out music.

“Whatever you decide, I’m telling you this once… don’t you fuck this up for me! You’re doing this for your family, we’re relying on you.”

Nick shook his head, desperately trying to get that voice, get those words out of his head. He didn’t know where this was coming from, why he could all of a sudden hear the words he came to drown out and the voice he hid from all these years. He hadn’t been drinking that much… had he?

“What the hell is this Nick?! Where’s the rest of your check?! Did you spend it all already?!”

“I knew this was gonna happen, what made you think this was ever gonna work? You should’ve gone with Disney.”

“What do you mean you guys LEFT Lou?! Where the fuck is the money gonna come from now Nickolas?! I’m not paying shit for you to run around with four other guys! It’s over, wake the fuck up!”

Nick slammed his fist down upon the turntable, causing the music to abruptly stop. His eyes widened in shock and horror, hoping his little tantrum didn’t interrupt and catch the attention of everyone there. Thankfully, AJ had filled the silence with his talking, continuing to hype the crowd up even more. He quickly glanced around, no one seeming to have noticed his little tirade either. Sighing heavily, he quickly motioned for their resident DJ to take over and excused himself.

“Whoa Nick, where you rushing off to?” Howie asked as he watched Nick rush past them.

“Gonna cool off a bit… this crowd’s got it hot up in here!” he quickly filled in, hoping that would be enough.

Howie simply nodded, but otherwise had let him go. He knew that his bodyguard was trailing him not far behind, but thankfully the fans seemed oblivious to his wandering. He wasn’t sure where he was going, or what he would do once he got to wherever he was headed; all he knew was that he needed time to himself to clarify what the hell had just happened.

“Turning in already boss?” his bodyguard finally broke the silence.

Snapping out of his trance, he finally took in his surroundings, finding them to be standing right outside of his cabin; he hadn’t realized they had been walking that long in silence. “Yeah… ain’t hanging on as long as I used to.”

He chuckled, “You’re telling this to me? Some people have all the luck in the world! Rest up bro.”

“Make sure those guys don’t have too much fun without me! And please, for the love of God, don’t let AJ lose his clothes!” Nick tried to joke as he retreated into his cabin.

Silence. Once again. Who knew it could be so deafening. His gut clenched and his heart rate elevated; maybe coming here wasn’t such a good idea. Now that he was here, by himself in silence, what if he heard those voices again? Maybe he should’ve stayed out there and continued to drown his thoughts out with noise.

Sighing heavily, he sat on his bed and flopped back, closing his eyes and rubbing his two hands over his face. It wouldn’t have mattered being out there… he still heard her voice loud and clear over the music. With nothing else to do, he fell asleep fitfully.