“Kathleen” Lizzie said approaching her with open arms.
“Oh Lizzie” Kathleen said as they hugged.
“He was such an amazing young man” Lizzie said.
“He was” Kathleen said.
“Craig” Lizzie said hugging him.
“Thanks for coming Lizzie” Craig said hugging her.
“Well of course” Lizzie said to him, stepping aside.
Natalie approached Kathleen “Hi, we haven’t officially met” she said.
“Natalie?” Kathleen asked smiling.
“Yeah, hi” Natalie said nodding.
“Oh honey” Kathleen said hugging Natalie tightly “I’m sorry this is the way we had to meet” she said to Natalie.
“Me too” Natalie said to her sadly.
Nick shook hands with the priest as Sasha’s brothers approached her “I know you guys aren’t exactly fond of me but…” he said to them.
“Hey, listen…we’re not here to jump all over you…we just want to tell you how sorry we are” CJ said to him “You were Neilson’s father, you lost him too…it’s got to be just as hard on you as it is on Sash” he said sticking his hand out.
“Thanks” Nick said shaking his hand.
“He was an amazing kid, you did a good job” Shawn said shaking his hand.
“Not good enough though right?” Nick asked “Excuse me” he said leaving the room.
Kyle and Adam sat on the couch together while Harry picked his way through a plate of food.
“You guys want any of this?” Harry asked.
Kyle shook his head “I’m not hungry” he said.
“Adam?” Harry asked.
“Me either” Adam said as Harry pushed his plate away.
“And then there were four” Harry sighed.
“Weird to think about huh?” Kyle asked.
“Hey guys” Natalie said approaching them.
“Hey Nat” Kyle said standing up to hug her.
“Thanks” she said to him “Have you guys seen where Bradley went to?” she asked “He wasn’t at the gravesite for the burial."
“He’s probably upstairs in his room" Kyle said to her.
“Should I go check on him?” she asked.
“I think he just wants to be alone” Kyle said to her.
“He shouldn’t be” Natalie said.
“Leave him alone alright?” Adam said to her “He doesn’t want to be bothered so just leave him be” he said getting up and going into the kitchen.
Bradley sat on his bedroom floor, listening to the rain bouncing off the window, his eyes red, a lone tear rolling down his cheek, he took a large gulp of alcohol.
There was a knock at his door "Honey?" Vicki asked from outside.
“What?” Bradley asked sullenly, sliding the liquor bottle under his bed as the door opened, she and Brian came in and sat on the floor next to him.
“You disappeared after the ceremony, you okay?” she asked.
“Well…” he said clearing his throat “The most important person in my life is dead and I still don’t know why” Bradley said bitterly.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart" Vicki said to him.
"Why wasn't I here?" Bradley asked “I could’ve helped grandma move her stuff anytime why did it have to be then?” Bradley asked “And if I really knew Neilson as much as everyone says I did, I would’ve been able to help him…I could've done something, I could've helped him somehow" he said sadly.
"Honey don't do this to yourself" Vicki said.
“Bradley, this is not your fault, Neilson needed help" Brian said to him.
"No! he needed me and I wasn't here!" Bradley said as his voice broke "Why did he do it?" Bradley asked in tears.
"Shh..." Vicki said as she pulled him close and held him
"I just want him back...I want my best friend back" he sobbed.
They looked at each other helplessly as they consoled Bradley while he grieved. Brian pulled Vicki close to him and they all sat in an embrace.
Later that night, Bradley sat on the floor in the dark alone, a tear rolled down his face, he took a long swig of the alcohol and grimaced at the taste, he heard his phone buzz, he looked over and saw all the notices pop up of missed calls and messages. He pushed on the screen and saw Neilson's name pop up under his missed call list, the screen switched to his voicemails and his eyes fell on a new message left by Neilson.
Sasha sat on her bedroom floor, a large box open next to her, a book on her lap. She pulled out a fluffy green blanket and took a deep inhale.
“Sasha…honey” her mom said coming into the room.
“Hey” she said quietly.
“Thought you might like some tea” Kathleen said handing her a steaming mug.
“I would like it more if it turned back time” she said sadly taking it from her.
“I know” Kathleen said softly “The baby box…haven’t seen this in a long time” she said “I remember this” Kathleen said picking up the blanket “He’d never go to sleep without it” she said.
“Still smells like him too” Sasha said absently as she sniffled.
The doorbell then rang “I’ll get it” Kathleen said standing up from the floor and going to the living room.
“Hi Mrs. Miller” Vicki said.
“Oh Vicki, hi, come on in” she said.
“Hey” she said to Sasha.
“Hey” Sasha said sullenly.
“How you holding up?” Vicki asked holding her hand.
Sasha chuckled lightly “Just barely” she said smiling tearfully “What’s up?” she asked.
“Oh uh…well, I wanted to bring this to you” Vicki said handing her a plastic bag “It’s from the hospital… it’s Neilson’s personal affects” she said “It’s what he had on him when they brought him in” she said.
Sasha nodded “Thanks” she said clutching it tightly to her chest.
“Sure” Vicki said.
"How’s Bradley doing?" Sasha asked.
“Not great” Vicki said shaking her head “We practically had to force him to go back to school today” Vicki said “He’s…he’s having a really hard time right now” she said.
Sasha nodded “Aren’t we all” she said.
"Good afternoon students, as you all know, this past week, we lost a member of our Hilridge High School family and our community” Principal Wexler’s voice boomed off the walls from the intercom system ”Neilson Carter, a well known student here at Hilridge, sadly passed away, we want to extend our condolences and our prayers to his friends and family.”
Bradley sat on the school’s roof, slowly finishing off a bottle of liquor.
“Counselors are now on hand for anyone to speak with, if you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, please, we urge you to come forward to prevent another tragedy, thank you and have a good rest of your day” he said as the intercom turned off.
“You know the last time I talked to Neilson…I told him I loved him…and he said ‘love you too mom’ and it just…he sounded so normal but…I could tell there was a little sadness in his voice” Sasha said "This isn't fair" she sobbed.
"I know" Vicki said pulling her close.
People stared and whispered as Bradley walked down the hallway, giving him sad sympathetic looks as he passed by.
"Hey" Natalie said to him.
"Hey" he said sullenly.
"How you holding up?" she asked.
"Not great" he said.
"Me either" she said sadly.
“Bradley, Natalie” Principal Wexler said approaching them.
"Principal Wexler" Natalie said to him.
"I'm glad I ran into you both, I just want to extend my deepest condolences to you, Neilson is going to be extremely missed, I can’t imagine what you both must be feeling” he said.
“Thanks” Bradley said.
“Thank you Mr. Wexler” Natalie said to him.
“The student council is proposing a memorial service, in Neilson’s honor and they would love it if you two could be involved somehow.”
“Oh uh…we’ll let you know” she said.
“Do whatever you want, I’m not in the mood for another funeral” Bradley said walking away.
“He’s taking this really hard” she said to him.
“No need to explain, I understand” he said “Natalie, I realize this is a difficult time but I also wanted to talk to you both about cleaning out Neilson's locker" he said sadly.
"What?" Natalie asked.
"I'm sorry I know this is sudden, it doesn't need to be done right away, whenever you feel you're ready."
“Uh, yeah sure, whatever” she said walking away quickly.
Bradley sat in his desk, staring forlornly out the classroom window. Everyone kept up staring and whispering about him as he pretended to ignore them.
Neilson sat in the old tree house, a thick spiral bound notebook in his lap, he hastily scribbled something down.
"Neilson" Bradley called out.
"Up here" he responded.
"How the hell did you get up here?" Bradley said sliding himself inside "What are you doing up here?" he asked sitting down.
“I like to come here to be alone sometimes, it’s peaceful” Neilson said shrugging.
“Really? The fact that you could fall through these boards and to your death is peaceful to you?” Bradley asked.
Neilson smirked “Maybe it is” he said.
“You’re insane” Bradley said.
“Yeah tell me something I don’t know” Neilson said.
“Hey, are you alright?” Bradley asked.
“You ask me that a lot lately” Neilson said.
“Well yeah you just don’t seem like yourself anymore” Bradley said to him.
“And how’s that?” Neilson asked.
“You know…goofy” Bradley said.
Neilson smiled slightly “Goofy huh?” he asked chuckling “I’m fine, I promise” he said.
“Come on Neilson, this is me here, I can tell when there’s something wrong with you” Bradley said to him.
“Bradley, I can promise you, there’s nothing wrong okay?” Neilson said.
“Alright” Bradley said “Well come on, we got to get to work" Bradley said tapping his knee.
"I'll be right down" Neilson said as Bradley carefully climbed back down to the ground.
Natalie then came into the classroom and approached her desk.
“Natalie” a girl said approaching her “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am about Neilson” she said sympathetically.
"Thanks” Natalie said as the girl nodded and Natalie took her seat next to Bradley. “Hey” she said to him “What’s going on with you?” she asked.
“What do you mean? I’m fine” he said.
She got closer to him, noticing the aroma of alcohol on his breath “Have you been drinking?” she asked.
He shrugged “Maybe” he said.
“Bradley…Wexler asked if we would clean out Neilson’s locker” she said sadly.
Bradley turned to look at her in disbelief “He did what?” he asked angrily “Neilson’s grave hasn’t even been dug yet and they want us to clean out his locker?” Bradley asked.
“I know, I know” Natalie said.
"I knew I shouldn't have come back today" he said getting up from his seat.
“Where you going?” she asked.
“Home” he said leaving the room, people staring at him as he left.
“Hey” Bradley said coming into the house.
"Hey, what are you doing home? School's not over for another 3 hours" Brian said.
“I just had to get out of there I couldn’t take it with everyone staring and whispering” Bradley said. "Wexler asking me and Nat to help plan some kind of memorial for Neilson and in the same breath asked if we’d clean out his locker” he sighed.
"You okay?" Brian asked.
“I swear to god if one more person asks me that question…” Bradley said angrily “No dad, I am most definitely not okay and I don't know if I ever will be" he said as he went upstairs, his bedroom door slamming shut.
“Hey guys” Natalie said approaching Kyle and Adam their lunch table.
“Hey, have a seat” Kyle said to her.
“Where’s Bradley?” Adam asked.
“Uh he went home” she said sadly.
“He okay?” Kyle asked.
“No…he’s just having a really rough time with everything” she said.
“Who isn’t?” Adam said.
“Dude” Kyle said.
“What? We lost Neilson too okay? You think Bradley’s the only one who’s allowed to grieve for him?” he said.
“What is wrong with you?” Natalie asked.
“Yeah that’s what I want to know too” Kyle said.
“All I’m saying here is that the only one who should be acting like a bereaved lover is Nat, even if Bradley was Neilson’s heterosexual life partner” Adam said.
“You guys know better than anyone else how close Neilson and Bradley were” she said “You know how important their relationship was, I can totally understand why Bradley is acting the way that he is my grief is not less or more important that his”. “And just so you know, I am devastated Neilson is gone, I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together…” she said tearfully before running away.
“Do you just live to be a dick or what?” Kyle asked him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off like that” Adam said.
“Hey guys” Harry said sitting down.
“Hey, where’ve you been?” Kyle asked.
“Uh pub room, speaking of which I need to talk to Bradley and Natalie, where are they?” he asked looking around.
“Well Bradley went home and mister sensitive here just sent Nat running away in tears” Kyle said to him.
“Oh very nice” Harry said to Adam.
“I didn’t mean to” Adam said.
“What’s up?” Kyle asked him.
“We’re running a special issue of the paper in Neilson’s memory” Harry said “I just don’t want them to feel blindsided” he said.
“Speaking of which, I’m going to check on Nat” Kyle said getting up and leaving the cafeteria.
“What is wrong with you?” Harry asked Adam.
“What?” Adam asked.
Kyle found Natalie in the hallway just standing and facing the lockers.
He cautiously approached her “Hey” he said.
“Mr. Wexler asked Bradley and I to clean out his locker this morning” she said to him.
“Already?” he asked.
She nodded “Bradley was pretty upset when I told him.”
“I can imagine” Kyle said “Look about what Adam said…”
“Don’t apologize I’ve become used to Adam’s special brand of sensitivity” she said to him.
“You okay?” he asked.
“I don’t know anymore” she said.
He pulled her close and held her tightly “Harry’s going to walk to talk to you” he said as they parted.
“About what?” she asked.
“They’re running a special memorial edition of the paper for Neilson” he said.
“Oh” she said.
“Yeah, he said he wanted to give you a heads up before they go to press” Kyle said to her.
“Oh, yeah sure, that would be a nice way to honor him I guess” she said nodding.
“Now the question is…how do we tell Bradley?” he asked her.
“Kyle, he’s in such a fragile state right now, maybe Harry should tell them to just hold off until Bradley’s ready” Natalie said to him.
“I agree…but what if he never will be?” he asked.
