“Mom” he whispered.
“Yeah” she said happily “It’s me, are you okay?” she asked hugging him tightly, he shook his head in a negative gesture.
“What happened?” Neilson asked clearing his throat and coughing.
“You don’t remember?” she asked “You took an overdose” she said.
“What the hell were you thinking?!” Nick asked.
“Nick, please” Sasha said to him.
“You could be dead right now!” Nick said.
“Nick!” Sasha said to him.
“Where’s…where’s Bradley?” Neilson asked in a whisper.
Bradley sat out in the waiting room anxiously biting his fingernails.
“Bradley” Natalie called as she ran into the waiting room, he stood up as she ran into his arms “Where is he? Is he okay?” she asked.
“I don’t know I haven’t heard anything since they brought him in” Bradley said to her.
“Why'd he go and do this to himself?" Natalie.
"I don't know" Bradley said "I can't believe he doesn’t realize how much we love him" he said. “I knew there was something off about him lately” he said “He wasn’t his usual self” he said “I should’ve done something, I should’ve seen that he was hurting or something…” he said “I could’ve helped him” he said.
“Bradley you saved his life tonight” Natalie said.
“I know I just…I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if I didn’t find him when I did” he said.
“Bradley” Nick said waving him over.
“I’m just so relieved you’re alright” Sasha said kissing Neilson's forehead.
“Hey” Bradley said standing in the doorway.
“Are you going to tell us why you did this to yourself?” Nick asked.“Do you realize what would’ve happened if Bradley hadn’t found you when he did?!” he asked.
“You found me?” he asked Bradley.
“Neilson, yo, you home?” Bradley asked going up the stairs and going into Neilson’s room “Dude, are you asleep?” Bradley chuckled “Come on, get up, let’s do something” he said shaking Neilson’s foot. Neilson stayed still “Neilson” Bradley said once again “Neilson come on, get up” he said nervously his eyes finally fell on the glass of water and empty bottle on the nightstand. “Neilson! Neilson wake up!” He knocked the glass over, the water spilling out onto the carpet.
“Neilson, come on, wake up, please!” Bradley begged “Neilson wake up, come on wake up!” he pleaded “Yeah I need an ambulance, my best friend took some pills and I think he overdosed” Bradley said frantically on the phone “I don’t know how long ago he took them, I just found him unconscious!” “Just get here! Hurry!” he said throwing the phone to the floor. “Neilson…come on, stay with me here alright, please!” Bradley said cradling Neilson’s head.
“I thought you were with your grandma?” Neilson asked Bradley.
“I was, she had her poker game tonight so I came home early” Bradley said to him.
“And you’re lucky he did, in fact you should be thanking Bradley right now” Nick said to him.
“Hey, come on, you don’t need to do that, I just did what anybody would do” Bradley said to him.
“Bradley, you saved his life” Nick said to him.
“Hey” Vicki said coming into the room “How do you feel Neilson?”
“Like I’ve been to hell and back…literally” he said.
“Vicki, what’s his prognosis?” Sasha asked.
“Well as you know Neilson took a very large amount of painkillers but we were able to pump his stomach and we administered a course of Narcan which is used in overdoses, you did experience a temporary lack of oxygen to your brain which caused you to black out” she said. “We’re going to keep you under suicide watch and put you on a 24 hour psych hold at which time the hospital counselor is going to come in and talk to you and maybe set up regular counselling sessions” Vicki said to them.
“Oh he will definitely be going to counselling” Nick said to her “Even if we have to make him.”
“Nick would you stop?!” Sasha said to him.
“Why aren’t you more upset about this?!” he asked.
“I am upset but we have to think about Neilson right now and what he’s feeling” Sasha said to him “Now, let’s give Neilson a minute with Bradley, and we’ll go talk to the doctor” she said.
“Fine” Nick said as they turned to leave “Hang on” he said, he approached Bradley and engulfed him in a hug “Thank you” he said “For saving him…Neilson’s lucky to have you in his life” he said before he left the room.
“He smells funny” Bradley said.
“Yeah you get used to it” Neilson said “You pissed at me too?” he asked.
“More like confused” Bradley said “And a little hurt that you couldn’t tell me what was going on with you” he said.
Neilson shrugged “I didn’t want you to worry, plus there are just some things I’d rather keep to myself” he said.
“Come on Neilson, this is me here, since when can’t you tell me anything?” Bradley asked “You could have died tonight” Bradley said.
“I did” Neilson said.
“What?” Bradley asked.
“I did die…I saw it, my funeral…my grave…everything” Neilson said.
“It was probably the effects of the drugs or something” Bradley said to him.
“No, it was real” Neilson said “I guess in my own way, I was trying to protect you.”
“No, I think you were trying to push me away” Bradley said.
“Maybe I was” Neilson said.
“What? So it would be easier for me if you did die?” Bradley asked.
“I know it wouldn’t have been easy for you, I saw it…you were in your own personal hell” Neilson said “You were lost and devastated and sending yourself into a downward spiral” Neilson said to him “You were just a complete mess” he said.
“Yeah I probably would be” Bradley said “Do I really need to spell out how much you mean to me?”
“I used to wonder sometimes” Neilson said “But seeing your grief, your heartbreak, your guilt…it breaks my heart to think that I could cause you that much pain” he said tearfully. “I’m sorry Bradley, I’m so sorry” he said.
“It’s okay” Bradley said as they hugged, Neilson sobbing on his shoulder. “I’m sorry too” Bradley said “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me what was going on with you” he said.
“Don’t be, I’m the one who chose to keep it to myself when I shouldn’t have, I’m the one who lied to your face and told you I was okay when I wasn’t” Neilson said.
“I don’t know what I would do without you” Bradley said “I can’t even imagine my life without you in it” he said.
“I can, but…I promise you’re not going to find out” Neilson said.
“I hope I don’t” Bradley said.
“Neilson” Natalie said as she came into the room “Oh my god” she said rushing to his side.
“Hey” he said “I’m alright.”
“What happened? Why would you do this to yourself?” she asked hugging him tightly.
“You wouldn’t understand” he said “I’m alright now, I promise” he said to her.
“Make me understand, please, did I do something wrong?” she asked.
“No, you didn’t…no one did anything wrong, especially not you guys…it’s me, the problem is me” he said.
The door then opened “Neilson” Vicki said, a man following behind her “This is…”
“Dr. Jones” Neilson said.
“Yeah, right, is it okay if he talks to you for a bit?” she asked.
“Yeah sure” he said.
“Nat, Bradley, you guys want to wait out here?” she asked.
“We’ll be back alright?” Bradley asked.
“I love you” Natalie said kissing Neilson’s forehead.
“So Neilson…you’ve had one heck of a night huh?” Dr. Jones asked taking a seat next to Neilson’s bed.
“That’s one way of putting it” he said.
“Scared your friends and your parents pretty badly” he said.
“So I see” Neilson said.
“You know what could’ve happened if your friend Bradley hadn’t found you in time?” he asked.
“Yeah I think I do” Neilson said to him.
Neilson lied in his hospital bed, writing in a plain covered journal.
“Hey” Bradley said coming into the room, something hidden under his jacket “How’s your 24 hour psych hold going?” he asked.
“Oh, so much fun” Neilson said closing the book and setting it beside him.
“Surprised they don’t have you strapped down to the bed” Bradley said.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?” Neilson asked.
“Oh yeah” Bradley said suggestively.
“What’s that?” Neilson asked.
“Oh yeah, uh, remember when I got my tonsils out?” Bradley asked.
“Yeah so?” Neilson asked.
“They didn’t have my favorite ice cream so you brought it to me? Well I was talking to my mom and as it turns out they don’t have your favorite either” Bradley said “so…” Bradley said taking a small pint of ice cream out from his jacket and tossing it to him.
“Oh dude” Neilson said taking it from him “Thanks” he said happily, Bradley took his jacket off and threw it over a chair.
Bradley sat at the opposite end of the bed as the ice cream sat on the table between them “What’s this?” Bradley asked picking up a journal.
“Doctor Jones thinks it’d help me to write down my feelings and stuff” Neilson said “But the only thing that seems to come out is poems and drawings” he said.
“I don't like my mind right now, stacking up problems that are so unnecessary, Wish that I could slow things down, I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic, And I drive myself crazy, Thinking everything's about me, Yeah I drive myself crazy, 'Cause I can't escape the gravity” Bradley read. “I'm holding on, Why is everything so heavy? Holding on, To so much more than I can carry I keep dragging around what's bringing me down, If I just let go, I'd be set free, Holding on, why is everything so heavy?” Bradley finished reading.
“What do you think?” Neilson asked.
“Really good” Bradley said handing the book over to Neilson “So…what else did I do in this coma dream of yours?” Bradley asked.
“Oh dude you were pretty bad, smoking more than Adam does, drinking yourself into oblivion…” Neilson said digging a spoon into the ice cream container.
“You really flatter yourself don’t you?” Bradley asked.
“Oh and then you said that you felt incomplete without me” Neilson said amused.
“Oh hell no…I’d be upset obviously but I wouldn’t be quoting Backstreet” Bradley said to him as Neilson snickered. “So this whole experience…it was just a one time thing right? I mean I’m not going to have to shove my fingers down your throat again am I?” Bradley asked.
“Not unless you’re into that sort of thing” Neilson said disgusted.
“You know what I mean” Bradley said.
“I’m not going anywhere…promise” Neilson said.
"I really do care about you Neilson” Bradley said “And I know I don’t say it a lot…if ever but…I do love you.”
Neilson smiled “I know” he said.
“Hey” Vicki said coming into the room “Well look at this, just like when you guys were little” she said.
“What’s up mom?” Bradley asked.
“Well I have good news, you can get dressed, you’re being sprung early” she said.
“Seriously?” Neilson asked.
“Yeah, Dr. Jones thinks you’re well enough to be released on your own merit” she said “Just as long as you keep up with your regular counselling sessions after school” she said.
“Yeah, course” he said.
“Good, I called your parents they’re on their way to get you” she said.
Neilson pulled his shirt over his head as he prepared to go home.
The door opened “Okay sweetie, you’re all checked out, ready to go?” Sasha asked.
“Yeah, actually, I was going to give him a ride, if that’s okay” Bradley said.
“Oh, yeah, okay, I guess I’ll see you at home” she said hugging him tightly.
“It’s alright mom, I’m not going anywhere” he said to her.
“You better not” she said “alright I’ll meet you back at the house” she said.
“Okay” Neilson said as she left the room.
“Ready?” Bradley asked.
“Let’s go home” Neilson said.
The sun shone brightly above them as they drove home, Neilson grabbed Bradley’s phone and began to search through his music. He scrolled through the list of songs and smiled upon picking one.
“…It's Amazing With the blink of an eye you finally see the light It's Amazing When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright…” Steven Tyler sang over the stereo.
Neilson leaned his head back and felt the sun warm on his face, the breeze blowing through his hair.
“You okay?” Bradley said.
“Yeah…I’m great” Neilson said smiling at him.
