His recovery followed a similar course, as slowly but steadily, his condition began to improve. One by one, the signs of infection faded away. His fever broke. His blood pressure stabilized. His heartbeat strengthened. His kidney function started coming back.
With Nick finally out of the woods, Howie, Kevin, and AJ all flew home to spend Thanksgiving with their families, while Brian invited Lauren to celebrate the holiday with him, Leighanne, and Baylee. It was far from a normal Littrell family Thanksgiving, but they had never been more thankful.
The following week, Dr. Brenner began to talk about trying to wean Nick off the ECMO machine. “His blood pressure’s been holding steady without the high doses of drugs he was requiring before, his heartbeat has stayed in a normal sinus rhythm, and his native cardiac output has increased. The daily echoes we’ve been doing to monitor his heart have shown a dramatic improvement in his ejection fraction, which is a measure of how well his heart’s working,” she explained one day during her usual morning rounds. “I see no reason why it wouldn’t be able to keep pumping his blood by itself. He’s ready for a weaning trial. If he passes, we’ll be able to remove the cannulas, close his chest, and reduce the sedatives to bring him out of his coma. Once he regains consciousness, we can take him off the ventilator.”
The weaning trial turned out to be a simple matter of progressively turning down the flow of the ECMO machine and monitoring Nick’s blood pressure as his heart became the primary pump. Nick passed the test, and Dr. Brenner arranged to have the tubes taken out of his chest the very next day.
Brian sat with Lauren while Nick was in surgery. “Hopefully this’ll be the last one for a long time,” he said, as they settled into the surgical waiting room.
Lauren nodded in agreement. The last four weeks had taken a toll on her. Under the harsh fluorescent lights, her face looked pinched and pale without makeup. Her unwashed hair, pulled back into a messy bun, was limp and flat. She appeared to have been wearing the same pair of black leggings with a different oversized shirt for the past few days, but her baggy tops didn’t hide how much weight she had lost from barely eating. Leighanne had offered to take her shopping or out to dinner just to get her away from the hospital, but Lauren was still hesitant to leave Nick’s side. Brian prayed Nick’s condition would continue to improve, for his wife’s wellbeing as much as his own.
He turned his attention to the TV mounted on one wall of the waiting room. It was tuned to one of the morning news shows, the volume on low. Lauren ignored it, but Brian watched, intrigued by how much he had missed during the three weeks he’d spent imprisoned in a hospital bed - and how much had stayed exactly the same. Public hearings had begun in the impeachment inquiry against the president, but he doubted the Democrats would get the results they wanted with the Republicans in control of the Senate. Climate change and gun violence were still very real problems plaguing society - or greatly exaggerated for political reasons, depending on which party you asked. Gas prices were still too high - everyone could agree on that.
One of the show’s anchors was in the middle of interviewing a bestselling author who was promoting his latest book when Brian suddenly heard her say, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but my producers are telling me we have some breaking news out of Miami. We’re going to cut to Craig in the newsroom now.”
Lauren looked up as a man appeared onscreen. “Thanks, Savannah,” he said. “We’ve just learned that a married couple at the center of a two-week manhunt has been apprehended.”
“Turn it up,” she told Brian, who reached for the remote to adjust the volume.
“Robin and Danielle Henault, wanted for the abduction and attempted murder of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, were arrested early this morning at a small marina located on Key Biscayne, a barrier island off the coast of Miami,” the newscaster reported, as a pair of photos popped up in the top left corner of the screen. Brian’s breath caught in his throat when he recognized the faces of Dr. Rob and Dani.
His hand moved automatically to the bandage that covered his healing tracheostomy. By now, the hole in his neck was almost completely closed, but he would always have a scar there to remind him of how Rob had cut him open unnecessarily and without anesthesia. On the contrary, the scars Dani had left him with were all inside his head. He couldn’t look at her picture without hearing her disgusting groans of pleasure as Nick lay dying underneath her or seeing the disturbing image of her standing over his lifeless body in nothing but her lace panties and push-up bra, smiling delightedly as she pressed the defibrillator paddles to his chest.
Brian felt Lauren grab his free hand and give it a squeeze, snapping him back to the present. He gripped hers tightly, but refused to take his eyes off the television screen, which was now showing an aerial shot of the marina.
“The two fugitives were found hiding on a small fishing boat owned by Mr. Henault. Authorities believe they were attempting to flee the country by sailing to the nearby Bahamas.”
“So they’ve been here this whole time?!” gasped Lauren, shaking her head. “I can’t believe it took this long for them to be caught. The police should have been searching this area from the start - I mean, they used to live here, for crying out loud!”
“They did?” said Brian, surprised he hadn’t heard anyone mention that tidbit of information before.
“Yeah... Detective Overton told us they both used to work at a hospital in Miami before they moved to Key West. Of course they would come back to an area they’re already familiar with. They probably have family or friends here that were helping them avoid capture until they could escape.”
Brian thought she was probably right, although another, more disturbing possibility had occurred to him. “That, or they came back here to kill me… or Nick… or both of us.”
Next to him, Lauren shuddered. “Thank God they were captured before it came to that,” she murmured.
Brian nodded. In the background, he could hear the newscaster saying, “The arrest comes just over a week after the couple’s alleged co-conspirators, Patrick and Elizabeth Gravel, were taken into police custody after Carter’s missing bandmate, Brian Littrell, was located in the trunk of a car being driven by Mr. Gravel. Patrick Gravel has since been charged with one count of kidnapping and is currently being held without bail in the Monroe County, Florida jail while he awaits his first court appearance. His sister Elizabeth, a Key West cardiologist, is also facing prison time for her suspected involvement in the plot to kidnap and torture the two pop stars.”
As the siblings’ mugshots appeared side by side on the screen, Brian broke out in a cold sweat. His heart began to race as he remembered being trapped inside the stifling hot trunk… immobilized on the hard hospital bed... exposed atop the freezing cold examining table. The sight of Elizabeth’s smug face brought back the horrific memories of lying flat on his back beneath her, unable to move as she assaulted his naked body, forcing him inside her, and he felt ashamed.
“Can we turn this off?” he said suddenly, finally tearing his eyes away from the TV and forcing himself to look at Lauren. “I don’t wanna hear any more about it.”
“Of course,” she replied without hesitation, giving his clammy hand another reassuring squeeze.
“Here,” he said, handing her the remote. “Put on anything else. I don’t care what.”
Lauren flipped channels for a few seconds, then shrugged and set the remote aside, leaving on a game show which neither of them watched. “Are you okay?” she asked after a long silence, looking back at Brian.
He nodded. His heart was already slowing back down, the sweat evaporating from his skin. I’m safe now… and so is Nick, he reminded himself as he stared at the blank wall of the waiting room, bringing himself back to reality. They’ll never hurt us again. We’ll both be all right. But he couldn’t relax until he knew Nick was out of surgery.
When the surgeon came to talk to them, Brian and Lauren both sat up straighter, their bodies tense - but as it turned out, they had no reason to worry. “The decannulation procedure went as planned, and Nick’s resting comfortably in the post-op room,” the doctor told them. “I can take you back to see him now, if you’d like.”
“Thank you so much,” said Lauren, her eyes shining with tears of relief as she rose to shake his hand.
Seeing Nick in recovery brought back more memories for Brian. He remembered being the one in the hospital bed after his own heart surgery, with a breathing tube in his mouth and a big white bandage taped over the middle of his chest. He was sure he hadn’t looked any better than Nick did now. But at least Nick no longer had tubes sticking out of his heart. His chest had been closed, and he could finally start to heal.
As Brian reached out to take his hand, he noticed that both of Nick’s wrists had been bound to the bed rail with a pair of soft restraints. “Excuse me - can you please tell me why you have him tied down?” he asked the nurse who was monitoring Nick, trying to sound polite as he inwardly seethed.
“It’s just a precaution to prevent him from pulling out any of his tubes or popping his sutures as he comes out of the anesthesia,” said the nurse apologetically. “Some patients wake up pretty agitated.”
No wonder, thought Brian, knowing all too well the panic associated with waking up in a strange place, unable to move. He remembered how Nick had reacted to being restrained before: Brian had heard him pleading with Elizabeth to remove the straps from around his wrists and ankles, thrashing about in a frantic but futile attempt to free himself in some of his last lucid moments. “Yeah, these will make him agitated all right,” he remarked, frowning.
“When do you think he’ll wake up?” Lauren wanted to know.
“We have to keep him lightly sedated as long as he’s on the ventilator to help him tolerate being intubated, but the heavy stuff should start wearing off soon,” said the nurse. “As he regains consciousness, he’s going to be really groggy and confused at first. Just talk softly to him, and keep it simple - now is not the time for long conversations. He needs to rest and concentrate on recovering.”
Lauren nodded. “Will he be in pain?” she asked apprehensively, her eyes lingering on the long dressing that ran down the center of Nick’s chest.
“Don’t worry - we’re giving him plenty of morphine to manage it,” the nurse replied, motioning to one of the IV bags hanging from a pole at the head of Nick’s bed. “He may still be in some discomfort, but if it gets to be too much, I can always ask the doctor to prescribe a higher dosage or a different drug.”
Nick’s wife seemed satisfied with that answer, but when the nurse walked away, she turned to Brian. In a low voice, she said, “Okay, level with me here: What was your recovery like? How bad was the pain really?”
It had been so long since Brian’s surgery that the days following it felt like a blur, but he tried his best to think back and answer honestly. “It hurt,” he admitted. “The drugs do help to dull the pain, but they try to wean you off them as soon as possible so you don’t get addicted. The worst part was probably when they took out the breathing tube. It felt like they were pulling it all the way from my big toe, and it made me cough, which hurt like heck…” He put his hand on his chest, remembering how the pain had radiated along his incision every time he coughed, laughed, or moved the wrong way. “They get you up and walking right away too, which feels really weird at first. I was afraid I was gonna rip my sutures and my chest would split wide open, like a busted seam, and my heart would just - ploop - fall out onto the floor,” he recalled, using his hands to pantomime his insides spilling out of his rib cage.
Lauren shuddered. “Wow… that’s really disturbing,” she said, looking slightly nauseated. “I kinda wish you hadn’t shared that.”
“Sorry,” said Brian with a sheepish grin. “You did ask.”
“I know.” She shook her head ruefully. “Maybe I shouldn’t have.”
He put a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t mean to freak you out, Lauren. Honestly, it wasn’t much fun, but it also wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I was sore for a few weeks, and it was scary doing things for the first time afterward, but I healed pretty fast. Heck, I was back to performing full shows two months later - not that I would recommend that for Nick. I’ll be the first to put my foot down and make sure we take as much time as he needs - as we both need - to fully recover before we even think about getting onstage again. But he’s gonna be fine… eventually.”
“That makes me feel a little better,” said Lauren, managing a brief smile. “Thanks, Brian.”
Brian returned the smile, but it quickly faded as he refocused his attention onto the restraints around Nick’s wrists. Turning first to make sure the nurse was out of earshot, he muttered, “We need to take these off him before he wakes up.”
Lauren raised her eyebrows. “Really? I dunno… what if he does try to tear out his tubes? We don’t want him to hurt himself…”
“Trust me, it’ll be worse if we leave them on.” Taking a deep breath, Brian added in a hushed voice, “The last time he woke up, before he got so sick, they had him tied to a bed like this. They tortured him… You don’t even wanna know the details, but it was bad. Really bad.”
Her eyes filled with tears as Brian continued, “When Nick wakes up, he’s not gonna know where he is at first. We need to reassure him that he’s all right, that he’s safe now. Leaving him in restraints is not the way to show him that. Let’s just hold his hands instead. If he does start to freak out, you and I can handle him. He’s Nick, not the Incredible Hulk.”
Lauren laughed through her tears. “Yeah, okay,” she agreed finally, nodding. “If that nurse gets mad at us, though, I’m gonna tell her it’s all your fault.”
Brian held up both hands. “I’ll take full responsibility for removing these,” he said, already unstrapping the restraint from Nick’s right arm. Lauren loosened the left side. Once his hand was free, she laced her fingers through Nick’s and leaned forward, watching his face.
Brian gripped his other hand, giving it a squeeze. “We’re right here with you, Frack,” he whispered, “just waiting for you to wake up.”
To his amazement, he felt a weak squeeze back.
***
Even before Nick opened his eyes, he knew he had been dreaming. He felt like he was still floating in deep water; there was a heavy pressure pushing down on his chest, yet his head was swimming. But he could hear the beep of the heart monitor and the hiss of the breathing machine, which meant he had to be back in his hospital bed.
A dark cloud of dread descended over him as he realized he had awoken into a nightmare. He fully expected to find Dani or Elizabeth hovering near his bed, waiting for him to regain consciousness. He wasn’t ready to face them, wasn’t ready to endure another round of torture at their hands, so he kept his eyes closed, hoping they wouldn’t notice he was awake.
And then he heard Brian’s voice.
“We’re right here with you, Frack, just waiting for you to wake up,” it said softly, as someone squeezed his hand. At first, Nick felt confused. He hardly recognized the hoarse, raspy voice, but there was only one person who would call him by that name. He followed the sound, his leaden eyelids fluttering as he struggled to lift them.
When he finally opened his eyes, it was Lauren’s face he saw first. As the fog of confusion cleared and her familiar features came into focus, he felt his heart lift, a light sense of relief replacing the heaviness in his chest. He had feared he would never see his wife again, but there she was, looking weary, but still beautiful. Lauren.
“Welcome back, baby,” she whispered, beaming at him. Her blue eyes were shining with tears.
He tried to answer her, but found himself unable to talk. There was a tube in his throat, just as there had been when he had first awoken in Dani’s hospital of horrors. That was when he started to panic. His eyes welled, as frightened tears trickled down the sides of his face. He fought to free himself from the tube, but his head felt too heavy to lift, and the slightest movement made his chest hurt.
“It’s okay, Nick,” Lauren tried to soothe him, putting her hand firmly on his left shoulder to force him to stay lying flat. “Look at me.” She leaned over him so he could only see her face. “You’re all right now. You’re all right,” she kept repeating, but the words wouldn’t compute with Nick, who felt like he was suffocating.
“You’re in a real hospital this time, Nick,” Brian told him, appearing on his right side. “You just got out of surgery.”
Surgery?! Nick thought through the thickening haze, not understanding what Brian meant. He couldn’t have had the heart transplant because Brian was standing right next to him… unless he had been given someone else’s heart? But then, he hadn’t really needed a transplant, had he? He didn’t know what to believe anymore, what was real and what was not.
“They’ll take out the breathing tube soon,” Brian was saying, “but until then, you need to try to relax. I know it’s tough, buddy… Trust me, I’ve been there.” There were tears in his eyes, too.
Nick stared at him in confusion, struggling to comprehend what had happened while he was unconscious. The last time he had seen Brian, he’d been flat on his back in a hospital bed with his neck in a brace and a trach tube in the base of his throat. But he looked fine now - the brace was gone, and the only evidence of the tracheostomy was a bandage taped over the front of his neck. How long was I out?! Nick wondered, starting to get the sense that a significant amount of time had passed since then.
“Ah, Mr. Carter, you’re awake,” said another voice, as a nurse appeared behind Brian. “And I see your family members have already taken the liberty of removing your restraints.” She looked accusingly at Brian, her smile fading into a frown.
“He doesn’t need them,” Brian replied, his raspy voice firm. “He’s not gonna freak out - right, Frack?” Nick felt him squeeze his hand, Brian’s intense blue eyes boring into his. He understood the meaning behind this look: if he seemed too distressed, they would tie him down. Nick didn’t want that, so he forced his body to lie still. He stopped fighting the machine that was filling his lungs and let it breathe for him, focusing on the steady sound of air flowing in… and back out. In… and out. In… and out.
“All right,” the nurse finally relented. “Let me do a quick neuro check to make sure he’s fully conscious and able to follow commands. He has to be able to protect his own airway before the doctor will even consider taking out his breathing tube.”
Brian stepped back so the nurse could come closer. Taking his place next to Nick’s bed, she said, “Can you blink your eyes for me, Mr. Carter?”
Slowly, Nick closed his eyes and opened them again.
“Good. Now squeeze my hand, please.” She picked up his right hand, and Nick wrapped his fingers around hers, feeling the smooth latex of her gloves instead of bare skin. “Very nice,” she said with a nod. “I’ll go get Dr. Graeber.”
While they waited for her to come back with the doctor, Lauren looked down at Nick and smiled. “I love you so much,” she whispered, stroking his hair.
It was too hard to smile around the tube sticking out of his mouth, and he couldn’t talk with it in, so Nick settled for sign language instead. He arranged his fingers into the sign for “love” and held up his hand for Lauren to see.
“Aww, Frack, I love you too,” gushed Brian, grinning at him. “Glad to have you back, man.”
Nick still didn’t understand where he had been or how he had gotten there. He wasn’t exactly sure where he was now either. All he knew was that he was glad to be away from Dani and Elizabeth and grateful to have both his wife and his brother with him. He pointed to himself, then held up two fingers. Me too.
***
