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Brian had stayed in the room till Kevin had fallen asleep, with help he placed Kevin in the bed pulling the covers up and turning off the light as he left the room.
“ How’s Kevin?” Howie asked rubbing his sleepy eyes.
“ Sleeping finally.” Brian sighed, he ran his fingers threw his blonde hair and sat down.
“ I wish we knew what would help him.” AJ said running his fingers nervously threw his hair.
“ We need to have him talk to someone other than us.” Brian said. Everyone looked at him and nodded.
“ I agree it’s time Kevin seek help about this. I understand loss and I know that seeming to find someone to talk to.”
“ Yeah I know. Come on lets get some sleep.” Nick said rubbing his sleepy eyes. He looked towards Kevin’s door and then walked into his room, he decided that he wanted the room next Kevin’s that night.
“ Night.” The others said as they walked into their rooms.


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Kevin awoke later that evening. Rubbing his sleep filled eyes he looked towards the clock.
“ 3am. Goodie, why can’t I sleep.” Kevin said looking around the dark room. Reaching over he turned on the light and looked around the room. The remains of the lamp still lay on the floor. Howie had tried his best to clean it up but he had missed a lot of the smaller pieces. Shaking his head he reached over and lifted the small diary he had carried in his bag. It was hers, he had always kept it, something to remind him of her, a picture of Elizabeth inside the cover where he had glued it. He slowly ran his fingers over her picture, she looked so happy in the picture, a huge smile on her face. He remembered the day he had taken it. It was the day they found out she was pregnant with their son. He opened the diary and flipped till he found a page.

~~~ Feb 25th 1999. ~~~~
Dear Diary,
Today I spoke to Mom on the phone. I hadn’t talked to her in weeks. Kevin had insisted that I speak to her about Scott’s school fundraiser. She was excited to be helping her grandson and asked me to come over. I haven’t seen Kevin’s mother since Christmas. Ann is such a bright spot in my life. With Kevin being on the road all the time lately and I just feel so alone. I see my son and I see Kevin in his eyes. Scott is going to be a handsome young man he’s going to break a lot of hearts when he gets older. I kissed him goodnight and told him his daddy loves him, well I best get to bed, Kevin will be calling tomorrow.
Beth.
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Kevin looked at the pages and flipped backwards looking for earlier dates. Just reading her words made him feel like she was there with him.


~~~~ Dec 25th 1995~~~~~
Dear Diary,
I was totally surprised today when I opened the front door and found Brian, Nick, Howie and AJ standing on the other side. Kevin had told me they had been invited over. First time I was getting to meet them. AJ looked so small just like Nick did, I swear they looked like my little brothers. We are going to be such a happy family. Brian was a big surprise when Kevin laughed as he told me Brian was his cousin. These men have only been together two years and you’d swear they where one big family. I laughed as I watched Nick and Brian play the game system Nick seemed to have with him. That boy needs more of a hobby. They sang a few Christmas carols while I played the piano. It was a wonderful night. Scott played with the toys that lay on the floor. But he seemed to find the paper and boxes more interesting. Kevin walked around with a video camera taping everything. I love him so much. Well goodnight.
Beth.
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Kevin whipped the tears away that had threatened to fall down his cheeks as he continued to thumb threw the diary. He had given the diary to his wife on her birthday the year before they where married. He told her she could document anything she wanted in it. Even gave her a special box that he had made for it. He had never imagined he would marry someone at such a young age. But she was his world and he wouldn’t have traded it for anything. He thumbed threw the book and found another entry.


~~~ Nov 10th 1992 ~~~
Dear Diary,
I am getting married. Kevin proposed tonight to me. I am so excited, he introduced me to his mom and dad. They seem to be such a happy couple. I was so surprised to meet his parents. He had invited me to dinner and had us both go over to his parents house, when we arrived his mom met us at the door. She’s a beautiful woman and gracious. She has three wonderful sons. Kevin gave me this diary today in a beautiful box. I love it and I know he took a lot of time finding it and making the box. He had slid a small box just inside over the diary. I was so surprised to find the diamond ring just inside. He proposed to me right there in front of his family. I tried so hard not to cry. Kevin wants us to begin planning the wedding. I was so surprised that he wanted to start right away.
Well enough for tonight.
Beth.
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Kevin felt the tears slip down his cheeks, he remembered the day he had proposed to her. She was so surprised and yet she laughed as she felt the ring slid onto her finger as she shouted yes. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that day when she said yes. He looked up at the door when he heard a knock on the door. Setting the diary down he stood and walked to open the door.
“ Morning.” Brian said looking at his cousin. Kevin nodded and stepped aside to let his cousin into the room. Brian looked around at the pictures that lay on the floor.
“ I know you miss her.” Brian said looking at his cousin.
“ More than you could ever imagine.” Kevin said sitting back down on the bed.
“ We know, we loved her too, Kevin you need to let us finally help you with this.”
“ I am doing fine. We have a concert tonight don’t we?” Kevin said.
“ Yeah we do. Are you up to this? We have a party after the concert.” Brian asked. Kevin nodded and began picking up the pictures and folders he had lying on the floor. Brian spotted the small box and the red and gold diary lying on the bed.
“ Are the others up?” Kevin asked as he set the pictures back into his suitcase.
“ Not yet. I wanted to check on you first, I am going to wake Nick and then AJ and Howie. Actually I think D is up.” Brian said hearing some noises in the outer room.
“ Ok. I’ll be with you in a little while.”
“ Alright.” Brian said leaving his cousin alone. Kevin looked at the diary and then towards the room door. Shaking his head he placed the diary back into the box and then into his bag. Grabbing some cloths he headed out of the room.
“ I am going to shower before breakfast.” Kevin said heading into the bathroom.