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AJ held her close, he hadn’t known her very long but that little girl was his world, his reason for being and he could see his past present and future in her warm brown eyes.
“ Your ok, what was your dream about?”
“ I don’t know but it scared me daddy. Can you come and tuck me in?”
“ Sure thing munchkin.” AJ said carrying her back into the room.

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“ He’s taken to the roll of a father very well.” Kevin said with a huge smile.
“ Yes he has. I am as proud of him as you are. But what are we going to do with him when Gracie is gone?” Howie asked.
“ I am not sure, but we will have to wait and see.”

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Meranda opened her sleepy eyes and looked towards the bed. She smiled as she saw AJ laying on the bed with Gracie in his arms. Kissing them both she stood and left the room. She looked out and found the hallway empty. She looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 4 am and knew that everyone had gone home and went to bed. She walked down the hall and saw the doctor going over a chart.
“ Dr Smith.”
“ Ah Miss Hunt. Has Mr. McLean spoken to you about what I talked to him about earlier?”
“ No, actually he hasn’t had a chance. I’ve been tired and fell asleep.”
“ We want to start her on some aggressive chemo as soon as possible and we need your permission.” The doctor said looking at her. Meranda nodded and signed the paper.
“ When do you start?”
“ First thing tomorrow. That way we can get her started.” The doctor told her.
“ Thanks.” Meranda said heading down the hall away from her daughter’s room. Tears streaming down her cheeks once more. She felt arms around her waist and a soft kiss on her neck.
“ Gracie will be fine.”
“ Oh Alex, our baby girl is so sick. What am I going to do if I lose her?” Meranda asked turning around and facing him. “ I want to spend Christmas with her, I want to spend everyday with her.” Meranda cried against his chest.
“ She will be spend all the time in the world with you. Our little girl will be around for a very long time.” AJ soothed. Meranda held on to him for dear life and cried. AJ rubbed small circles in her back. He really needed to find the others, comforting someone was something he wasn’t good at, but for Meranda he was going to be strong.
“ How about we take some time with her, I know your still tired lets get you back into bed.” AJ said leading her back into the room.

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The sun streamed threw the window the next morning when Meranda and AJ woke suddenly when a shrill beeping filled the room. Meranda nearly leaped from where she was as a doctor and several nurses.
“ GRACIE!” Meranda cried as AJ pulled her back away from the bed. The nurse moved around the bed and began checking the monitors and then looked down at the bed to see a terrified six year old looking back up at her.
“ Hey sweetie. Your unhooked your monitor didn’t you.” She asked Gracie in a quiet voice. Gracie looked at the black thing that had been on her finger just a short time before.
“ Sowy.” She said shyly. The nurse touched the doctor’s arm and had him look at the little girl.
“ You scared us little one. But you’re alright and now how would you like to see mommy and daddy?” The doctor said stepping aside to let Meranda and AJ forward. Meranda looked down at her daughter.
“ Mommy I sorry.” She said holding her little arms out to her. Meranda gathered the small child into her arms and kissed her cheek.
“ Hey as long as you’re alright then it’s fine. Stay here with daddy mommy wants to talk to the doctor for a minuet.” Meranda said kissing Gracie’s cheek, Gracie released her mom and then grabbed onto AJ as Meranda left the room with the doctor.


“ Tell me about my daughter. How long does she have?”
“ We aren’t sure yet. But we are starting her chemo today. We will see how she reacts to that and go from there.”
“ Alright. I want to know when I can take my child home.”
“ Soon.”
“ What do you mean soon? I want a date.”
“ In a few days or maybe a week. We have to wait to see how the chemo goes.” The doctor said turning and walking away from her. Meranda sighed and leaned against the wall. She heard voices coming down the hall, she looked up to see the boys and Denise walking towards her.
“ How are you feeling hon.?” Denise asked her.
“ Had a scare this morning, but it was nothing Gracie had just moved wrong and knocked off her heart monitor. She’s in there cuddling with Alex.”
“ I bet that’s cute.” Denise said.
“ You can go in there with them. The doctor will be along to pick her up in an hour for her first chemo treatment.”
“ Alright. Everything will be alright.” Denise said hugging her and then headed into the room. Howie looked at Meranda and sighed.
“ Meranda how about we take a walk and talk.” Howie said taking her arm and led her away from the group. Meranda looked at Howie once they had gone outside.
“ Howie what do I do?”
“ Just be there for her. Caroline lived for a long time even had children before the lupus took her from us.”
“ The doctor is saying my angel has an advanced case.”
“ He didn’t say just advanced.”
“ That’s all he said. I am having the worst time of my life. I don’t understand why god has decided that it’s time to punish me.”
“ He’s not punishing you. It’s something unforeseen that has happened. Just let the doctor help her.” Howie said pulling her into a hug. Meranda began crying again and held on to him. She didn’t understand why things where happening but it was and it was like her life was coming to a stop.
“ I need some time alone.” Meranda finally said, she had seen the doctors come and take Gracie from her room, for her first round of treatments.
“ You take a walk, be careful it’s cold and has started raining outside.” Howie said looking at her. Meranda nodded and left the floor. Howie looked towards Gracie’s room to see AJ coming from the room.
“ Where’s Randy going?”
“ For a walk. She needed some time alone.” Howie said walking towards AJ.
“ I wish she’d talk to me. I know that lupus isn’t something she was expecting Gracie to have but I wish they’d just tell us how long we have with our little girl.”
“ She’s a strong child give her more time. Why don’t you read that journal that Randy made for you. Maybe there is some more things in there.” Howie suggested.
“ Yeah I was thinking about going and sitting in the cafeteria and getting something to eat and read some more of the book. It’s a rather large book.”
“ It’s six years of telling you everything that had been going on. She always wanted you to know about Gracie and there where times I would tell her to call you.”
“ I know.”
“ Did you finally end things with Sarah?”
“ After what I read in the journal last night, yep things are totally over with her for good.” AJ said, his hand running threw his hair.
“ Good, that girl was always bad for you. Go get that book. Gracie is going to be in there for a while.” Howie said looking at him again. AJ nodded and stepped back into the room. He picked up the leather bound book and came back out of the room.
“ I am going down to the cafeteria, do you want to come along?”
“ Sure. I’ll drink some tea and read that book with you.” Howie said.