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My life at times has felt like a roller coaster, exhilarating and terrifying, never knowing what to expect around every corner...

Ricky Don't Lose My Number


I travelled down to the kitchen and was met with the most enticing smells. Ricky was an incredible cook. She could easily cook Leigh under and over the table. She made sure never to throw it in your face. It was nice having a female in the house again. Ricky came in and suddenly the house, that was dirty, smelly and sad looking, just naturally perked up.

"Hey baby doll" She said pulling out a chair for me to sit down on. It was nice, I felt like I had a Mom. She would make a fantastic mother someday.

"Thanks, what smells so good?" I asked trying to peer into the big pot she placed in front of us.

"Beef stew"

"Oh yummy, did you put dumplings in there?"

She walked over to me and patted my head, "Yes I did. Just for you"

She poured some of the stew into a bowl for me and then sat down and joined me for what I thought would be a normal dinner. I really should know by now, my life and normal, are usually not thrown about in the same sentence.

"So, I have some news" I looked up mid chew.

"Yeah? Did my brother finally pop the question?" She laughed and showed me her bare finger. "Oh, sorry" I said with my mouth full.

"Actually, I was offered a job, a great job" I knew that sentence wasn't going to end well. For me anyway, but I plastered on a smile and went with it.

"Really? Where?" Please say here please say here please say here

"Dallas"

"Oh" I said trying to mask my disappointment. She could tell I was upset, so she came over to me and rubbed my back as I ate. "I'm not sure if I'm gonna take it or not yet, but I am going there for a month, you know, to see if it's something I want to do"

A month?

"When?" I asked her once again trying to be happy for her, while at the same time desolate.

"Tomorrow" I turned my head to try to see her face. She stopped rubbing my back and sat down beside me. "Don't worry honey, I know what that means. I am just trying it out. Okay?"

"Sure, whatever... it's your life" I said as matter of factly as I could. I wanted to cry, to beg her not to go. Once people left this place, they never came back.

"Maybe you and Howie could come and visit me down there" She said trying to make me feel better.

"I don't know, I have school to worry about. It's my senior year and I don't think I could afford to miss"

"Well, let's wait and see then. Now eat up" she sat back down and together we ate what was probably our last supper as a semi real family.

After dinner, I went back up to my room to get some homework done. On my floor, lined like a paper carpet, were bunches and bunches of college applications just waiting to be filled out. I had no desire to go to college, as recent as a few months ago. Suddenly, my inner voice, demanded I go. I'm not sure what I would even major in, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up, besides happy.

I picked up the first one I came across, Texas A & M. I flipped through it and quickly threw it down, only to reach over and pick it up again. If Howie and Ricky were gonna move to Texas, maybe I should keep this one. You never know. So I put it in the keeper pile. A knock on my door, brought me up on my feet, sure enough I opened up to see Howie standing there.

"So, I heard that she told you huh?" He asked still waiting to be invited inside, I walked away and back to my bed. I don't know why, but I was mad at him. Anger displacement I heard it was called. I paid attention in my psychology classes. When I failed to invite him in, he walked hesitantly behind me and sat next to me on the bed. I had already went back to my laying down position now browsing through some more brochures.

"So what are you looking at?" He asked peering over my shoulder.

"Catalogs" I said rather cold and harsh.

"For college?"

"Yeah D for college"

"What's the problem Nicky?"

"There's no problem, everything's fine"

"No it's not, something's bothering you"

"You know I'm pretty busy so if you don't mind" Howie sighed, but decided to drop the conversation. He stood up and walked out the door but before leaving he peered his head in, "You know.. I'm sad about it too. I love her and I don't want her to go" Then he went away.

I felt like such a jerk. Of course he was sad. It was so selfish of me to just think it effected me. She was the love of his life. I wanted to go and tell him I was sorry, but didn't. I'd tell him later. He would understand. That was the beauty of D, he always understood.

I sat up thinking about Ricky's departure again. I felt dumb for being so upset about it. I mean I was upset when J and Sarah left but it really didn't bother me that badly. Why was this bothering me? It made no sense. Another knock at my door, made me roll my eyes

"Go away D, I'm tired"

"It's me honey" Ricky's calm and soothing voice

"Oh okay come on in" She laughed from the doorway, "How come you were turning your brother away but I get to come in? I feel so special"

"Because I like you" She laughed and sat beside me, picking up one of the college brochures.

"Looks like you have your hands full young man" She smiled.

"Yup I sure do"

"I'm sorry about leaving baby, but I would be really dumb if I didn't go"

"I know, It's just that...I'll miss you, that's all" She smiled and gave me a warm kiss on the cheek, it was November, a few days after Thanksgiving, cold and breezy outside. I wanted to remember it, just in case I never saw her again.

When she left my room, her scent still lingered, She always smelled of Lavender and Lilac. It was always in our bathroom, I would occasionally catch hell from my friends because my backpack would smell like it. Then I realized why I was gonna miss her so much, she was normalcy. And she was leaving...