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A love that I hoped would get me into college...

The Application Process

The rest of February and most of March was devoted to filling out college applications. All of my siblings with the exception of AJ, actually graduated from college. No small feat when you stop and think about the upbringing we all had. I was so unsure of what to do, but thank goodness, because of Howie and lot's of advice from Brian and Kevin on the phone, I was able to understand the whole application process.

Some of the stuff the various colleges wanted me to submit was just plain ridiculous. Some wanted just about everything except for a vile of blood, while others were just happy for your name written in crayon. Who knew the process was so long and complicated. Another thing I had to do, now that I knew I was going to go to college, was to narrow down where exactly I wanted to be.

There were so many to chose from. Did I want location or quality? Did price make a difference? Or do I do what Brent and Mark did, which was put all the party schools on their lists. Brent had made up his mind I think in about eighth grade that he was going to Florida State only because he had seen an MTV spring break special where lot's of girls were showing their boobs to everyone. I'm sure that would make his Mom and Dad proud.

I had narrowed my list down to about six schools. Three of which were based on location, UCLA which was very close to where AJ and Sarah lived but also very hard to get in to, Vanderbilt to be close to Kevin, and University of Georgia obviously because of Brian. The other two I picked were more for their reputation, American University in Washington and Boston University. The sixth one was Penn State, to stay relatively close to Howie.

All of them with the exception of Maybe The Georgia one, would be tough to get in to. A challenge. When I brought the list to my guidance counselor, he looked them over and said maybe I should consider Lehigh instead. He didn't think I should waste money on the application fees. I probably wouldn't get in anyway right? What a jerk!

Shelby, thank goodness, was a little more helpful with me. After flat out calling my guidance counselor a horses ass, she then sat with me and told me I could do ANYTHING I put my mind to. She was also quick to note that I knew that already. I'm not sure how right she was about that one, but I was trying.

So I put my mind to getting into at least three of those places. I made myself a checklist of all the things I would need. Letters or Recommendation, transcripts, essays, etc., and then I went to work on it all.

I laid everything out on my kitchen table and made it my mission to work on one application a night until I got them all done. Tonight was Vanderbilt night. After dinner I sat there studiously reading and filling out my application. For this one, to get in, I had to write a piddily essay on what America means to me. I also decided to include my Pony one too.

I was concentrating so intently on what I was doing that I didn't even notice Howie come in and take a seat next to me. He had picked up my essay I had written about my Father and was reading it, while I continued to fill out the endless forms. I heard him turn the page which made me look up.

"Hi D" I said before I noticed what he was reading. I went to take it out of his hands.

"What" He said holding it away from me, "Let me finish this" I moved my hand away but fidgeted uneasily while he read. I had never let my family read my stories before. I liked it that way.

When he was done, he just sat there, quiet and staring at the last page. It was hard to read his face, so I looked away. The last thing I needed was for Howie to say how dumb it was. I might just throw it out and call it a day. The truth is, I didn't want to ever show them my stuff because their opinion meant so much to me. Too much sometimes, which is another thing that Shelby and I have been working on.

"Wow, Nicky, that was beautiful" He finally said in an awed whisper. "I never knew you could write like that"

"Really? You thought it was good?" He put the paper down, "Good? Nicky it was better than good. It was brilliant"

"Oh stop, you are just..."

"No! I am being totally serious. Did you make this stuff up about Dad and the horse?"

"No, not entirely, I mean he told me the story but then I made up some of things around it"

"He told you this story?" Howie looked shocked.

"Yeah"

"When?"

"When I went to visit him"

"You went to visit him?" Now he looked like he was going to pass out from shock.

"Yes. Shelby asked me to write a story about Dad so I decided to go straight to the source"

"I am so impressed with you Nick! I mean it. You never cease to amaze me" He said then pulled me close to him and kissed the top of my head.

"God Howie, jeez, that was gross!" Howie laughed but continued to look at me with a new sense of admiration. I liked that.

"Can I show this to AJ?" He asked picking up my story once again.

"I guess so, but tell him not to laugh at me okay?"

"He won't laugh" Howie said and then he disappeared into the living room. I turned back to my application. They wanted me to write an essay on Why did I want to go to college? Do they actually read the answers to this question? I mean why include that in an application. The phone rang which happily made me get up and stretch. After the third ring I picked it up,

"Hello?"

"Hey Boo!" I smiled hearing Brian's voice.

"Hi Bri!"

"How are you doing?"

"Good"

"How's the tummy?"

"Tummy? Did you just say tummy?" I asked making fun of him.

"Shut up! Stomach, is that better smart ass?" I laughed.

"I'm totally fine"

"Good"

"What about you?"

"We're good here too, I actually called because I wanted to ask you something"

"Okay what it is?"

"Leigh and I were wondering if you would like to come to our house for Easter this year?" I smiled.

"I would love to Brian... but I can't afford it now that stupid Kevin made me cut my hours at work, I am always poor" He laughed. I really wanted to go though. I missed him to death. The last time he was hear I was too sick to enjoy his company.

"Well, it just so happens that stupid Kevin decided to pay for a ticket for you to come out here"

"He did?"

"Yes, he told me you would say what you said. He knew you wouldn't have the money so he said Happy Easter from him. He is coming too"

"He is?"

"Yup with Kris and the kids"

"Excellent. But what about Howie and AJ?"

"They are going to stay up there with dad" Once again they had all obviously talked about this without bothering to consult me.

"Are you Leigh wouldn't mind me coming up there?"

"It's down there, not up there and yes I am sure that Leighanne wouldn't mind. She is the one that suggested it"

"So, are you saying that YOU don't want me there then?"

"Nick! I will speak slowly so what I am saying will register in that stubborn brain of yours, I, Brian Carter, want you Nick Carter to come spend some time with me. Jeez Louise!" I laughed as he went on. I loved teasing him.

"Well, when you put it that way, of course I'm coming" He clapped on the other line and let out a phony sigh.

"Great, I didn't think you would say yes" He mocked disgust at my reply, but I knew he was only kidding. Would I have really known that a month ago? No way. I would have got off the phone with him, ran up to my room and balled. Maybe I was getting better?

"SO, Kevin said he mailed you the ticket already, so it should come in the mail by the end of the week"

"But what if I had said no"

"Come on Boo Boo we all know you better than that. I know you can't resist an opportunity to see me. Your favorite brother"

"Nah, actually I just want to see my nieces"

"Drats! Foiled again" I laughed.

"Thanks Brian"

"Don't thank me..you should call Kevin and thank him but wait until you get the ticket because...well.. I'm not sure if he wanted me to tell you or not"

"Okay"

"I gotta go, but I'll see you in a few weeks Nicky"

"Yeah I'm excited. Talk to you later. I love you"

"I love you too Boo"

"Who do you love?" AJ said coming up behind me and scaring the holy hell out of me. He laughed when I jumped.

"That was Brian. He invited me to his place for Easter"

"What? How come I didn't get an invite? Am I chopped liver or something?"

"Apparently" He grunted but then handed me my story about Dad. "Howie gave me this to read. I thought it was done by a professional. I was surprised when he said you wrote it. God Nick it was very good"

"Thanks" Wow, AJ gave me a compliment. That just about never happens.

"Damn near brought my wife to tears"

"I'm glad you guys liked it"

He grabbed my arms, for a minute I thought he was going to throw me or something but he just looked at me very seriously, "Nick, you are really turning out to be one hell of a kid... do you know that?" He winked and let me go.

When he walked away I couldn't help but smile. It stayed plastered on my face while I finished my application to Vanderbilt and continued to remain s I started my UCLA one. I finished two applications that night. And the only reason I was able to was because of the delight in knowing that maybe I could actually do this after all. With my family on my side there was no possible way I could fail...