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Saying good-bye to my friends would be hard. But all part of growing up..< /i>

School Days

By the end of the week I had all my college applications filled out. Now I was just waiting on letters of recommendation from people. I was unsure of who to ask for one. I was never really close to any of my teachers but I felt like my best bet was my English teacher, even though this year I had given her a hard time. So after fourth period, as everyone trudged out of the classroom, I hesitantly went over to Mrs. Christopher.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Christopher"

"Yes, Nickolas, what is it?" She was sorting through papers on her desk and didn't even look my way. She was hard. In every sense of the word. Hard, but a fantastic teacher.

"Um.. I was wondering if you could..um.."

"Nickolas stop saying um. It makes what you are about to say sound so unimportant. Speak directly and others will listen"

"Okay, sorry. I was wondering if you would maybe..write me a letter of recommendation"

"And what am I recommending you for?"

"College" With that word said, she looked up at me.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, I have filled out my applications and I just need some letters of reference" She smiled.

"Where are you applying to?" She asked as I finally had her full attention. She pushed her pile of papers aside and took off her reading glasses. I was hesitant to tell her where I had applied because she would know I would never get into those places.

"Um.." She gave me a stern look for umming.

"Sorry...Vanderbilt, UCLA, Atlanta, Penn State, American, and Boston university"

"Oh my goodness, Nickolas those are all very fine institutions. Very challenging to get into and even more challenging once you are there"

"I know. I know I'm not going to get into any of them but I thought I would try"

"Nickolas! That is ridiculous. You know, you have been slacking as of late. It COULD hurt you but I don't think so. You are a smart boy. Great writer. Any of those places would be excited to have you"

"You really think so?"

"I would not say it if I didn't mean it. But you need to work, which means NO more slacking off in school. No more falling asleep and no more fooling around"

"Yes ma'am"

"I will write you your letters. When do you need them?" As she was asking me, she wrote a note to herself to remember.

"By the end of next week possibly. Before the Easter break" She smiled.

"Deal!"

"Thanks so much for this Mrs. Christopher" She nodded. Her next class was coming in, so I started for the door.

"Nickolas!" She called to me.

"Yes?"

"Good luck" She winked. Wow she was a human after all. Fabulous.

I dropped off all my books in my locker and headed down to the cafeteria. There I met up with Brent and Mark, both of whom seemed distant to me as of late.

"Hey guys"

"Hey" They both said in unison.

"What's up?" Brent looked up from his slice of pizza and shrugged.

"Mrs. Christopher is writing me a letter for my college applications"

"Wow! I'm impressed Kaos" Mark chuckled.

"So, Brent how have you been? I haven't really gotten to see you much these last few days"

"Yeah I've been busy"

"No, you haven't you are never busy. What's the deal dawg? Did I do something to make you mad?"

"Actually yes you have" He said looking up at me.

"What did I do?"

"Why the hell are you applying to all these good schools Kaos? I thought we had decided that we would tackle college together"

"Brent, I don't know, I just felt like I needed to spread my wings"

"I mean can't you apply to like Florida State? Isn't that what we said we were gonna do?"

"Yeah but, it's just not the school for me. Why don't you apply to the ones I'm trying for" Mark spit out his milk when I said that causing us all to laugh.

"Man Kaos, like Brent could ever get into one of those places. Hell he can can't even spell Vanderbilt"

"Shut up ass" Brent said balling up a napkin and throwing it at him.

Mark was right though. When it came to school, Brent didn't really ever apply himself. Studying and homework were never high on his to do lists. We were never in the same classes except for maybe gym, art and music. Otherwise I barely saw him during the day. The thing is, he is smart. One of the smartest people I have ever known. We could sit and watch Jeopardy and he would know every answer. You could never play against him in Trivial Pursuit because he would win. All the time. Smart but lazy.

"Don't worry I wont even get in to any of these places" I said eating my turkey sandwich Sarah had made for me. She put a little note in there. Remember I love you kiddo!

"Yeah you will Kaos! You will get into them all. I know you will"

I rolled my eyes, "Doubtful"

"Jesus Christ Kid, when are you going to realize just how freaky smart you are anyway? You are going to get into some foofy good school and leave me in the dust"

He always called me kid. I don't know why because we were only three days apart. You know I was always jealous of Brent and his family growing up. Completely jealous of his Mom and dad but, I think he is equally jealous of me and my family. Brent is an only child. Mark and I are the closest things he has to brothers.

"Brent, you are my best friend in like the whole world. No matter where I go, you will still be my best friend"

"Hello? Your OTHER best friend is sitting here to you know" I put my hand up to Mark's face and bopped him on the forehead.

"I know. Promise me that when you get all studious, you won't forget me. You know when I call you from jail for brawling at a nightclub or something" I laughed. I could totally see that happening with Brent. Getting arrested for being too drunk and aggressive.

"I promise"

"Good" He reached his hand out to mine and we shook.

"Aw what a touching moment. I think I might cry"

"Shut up Mark!" Brent yelled, then he turned to me as if he remembered something, "Oh yeah, Kaos Mom and Dad invited you over for Easter. I know Howie and AJ are home but you can come over for dessert or something"

"Thanks man, but I am actually going to Atlanta"

"Wow! To see B-Rok?" His nickname for my brother. He taught Brent and I how to play basketball.

"Yeah"

"Cool! Tell him I say hey"

"Will do"

"Want to go shoot hoops after school?"

"No, I can't I have an appointment" I still didn't tell Brent that I was seeing a therapist. I doubt I will ever tell him.

"Okay, well your loss then"

I nodded and we spent the rest of our lunch break laughing and joking. If I did get into college, I would miss these guys. A lot. Just before my last class I wasn't looking where I was going and slammed into Kelly.

"Sorry" I knocked all of her books out of her hands, so I bent down to help her pick them up.

"That's okay. No biggie" We were both squatting down, face to face. I had a hard time looking her in the eyes. She has been so nice to me since my health scare, but I had been rather cold. I didn't know whether to trust her or not. My heart said she will only hurt you again.

"So, how have you been Nick?"

"Good. Feeling great, back to my old self"

"Good. That makes me happy"

"Yeah me too" Now I felt awkward. "So, how have you been?"

"Okay.... I miss you" She said as I looked down at the ground.

"So what did you say to her?" I looked up at Shelby. She looked at me with the same interest one would have watching a soap opera.

"I just smiled and said I had to go. She looked hurt"

"Did you want to hurt her?"

"Yeah I think I did"

"Why?"

"Because she left me when I needed her most. My problems were to big for her, now suddenly because I seem happier she is all over me again"

"You do seem happier. Are you feeling happier?" I thought about it for a minute.

"Yes I guess I am feeling happier"

"Excellent, then maybe you are finally ready to talk about her"

"I just did, I said that I don't trust her anymore"

"No, I didn't mean Kelly. I meant your sister. Melissa"

"Oh" That came out of nowhere. She loved doing that to me.

"Tell me about Melissa Nick"

"I really don't feel like it. She was my sister, now she is dead. End of story"

"Is that all she was to you? Just your dead sister?" I started playing with the pen I had in my hand, nervously.

"No, I loved her...Did I tell you I'm going to Brian's for Easter?" I asked, happily changing the subject. She leaned back in her chair.

"Yes you did. I am happy for you"

"I'm excited. I'm gonna have a blast"

"Probably, but promise me one thing though. When you get back we are going to talk about your sister" I looked up and smiled at her, "Yeah sure. I promise"

"Good. Have a great time in Atlanta"

"I will"

I was grateful when that session was over with. Sometimes I felt so refreshed when I walked out of therapy, but other times, like today, I felt heavy hearted. So much transition was coming for me. If I did in fact get into college. Was I ready? I had always hoped for change, a chance to run away but now that it might actually happen, I was having second thoughts.

I shook that out of my head and let my mind travel back to the fun I would have with Brian and Kevin. Easter would be great this year, and luckily it was only a week away...