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iOnce that love entered my life another love soon followed, but not for me. For my brother...

Swings, Dreams and Other Fun Things

I had the best time in Georgia with Brian, Kevin and my little Baylee bear! If love had a face, it would be my little godsons. Yes, I knew it sounded a little sappy of me to say, but I couldn't really help the way I felt about the kid. He warmed me. The day he came home from the hospital, I think I held that kid more than both of his parents. Once those little fingers wrapped around my thumb, I knew I would have a hard time saying good-bye.

The girls were a little jealous of Baylee. You could tell they were used to being the center of everyone's attention by the way they kept trying to draw everyone's eyes their way. They were particularly unhappy with my sudden infatuation with my little nephew. So like any good uncle would do, I took my girls on a little date arm in arm. I treated them to McDonald's and then onto some generic movie. We had a great time and after giving them each a little stuffed bear, I was back on top of their favorite uncle list.

I know Shelby had asked me to think about Melissa while I was down there, but I just couldn't do it. Whenever I found myself even going there, I subconsciously turned my thoughts in another direction. I'm not sure why. Maybe because this was time of celebration.

My last day in Atlanta, Kevin and Kristin escorted me back to the airport. The girls staying behind to entertain Leighanne's parents. My flight was a little delayed for some reason so we found ourselves in the terminal's very expensive ice cream shop.

"Did you have a good time little man?"

"Kevin, when are you going to stop calling me that?"

"Never, even when you are eighty years old, you will always be a little man in my eyes" I had to give him an eye roll but it made me feel good.

"I had a great time. I wish I could stay longer"

"I'm sure Brian does too, you know if you went to school here, you would see Baylee all the time. But if you went to Vanderbilt, then you would be able to see the girls" Kristin started to laugh.

"My husband has never been any good at being subtle. I think he wants you to come and live by us" I turned to my brother, "You do?"

"Nicky, it's your decision but we would love it if you ended up going to school by us. You could even live with us. It would save you money and we would have a live in baby sitter"

"I knew there was a catch, I don't even know if I would get in there Kev. It's kind of out of my hands"

"When will you find out sweetheart?"

"Not sure Kris, they said by the middle of May at the latest"

"That's not too far away" Kevin said nodding.

"I know, I'm a little scared"

"Well, don't be. You are one of the brightest kids I know. You will get into everywhere you applied" Kevin said as he wrapped his mouth around another bite of his hot fudge sundae.

"I'm glad you have that much confidence in me"

"I do and you know what?"

"What?"

He reached over and stole the cherry off the top of my banana split, "You should to" Then he winked and popped the cherry into his mouth.

I knew I needed more confidence. It would be just another thing I would have to work on I guess. I thought about it on the plane ride home while drifting off to sleep.

Swinging on a swing off in the distance. We never owned a swing but there it was anyway. She was wearing a pair of blue sandals. Her toes digging into the sand as she rocked back and forth slightly.

"Why are you just sitting there Mel?"

She looked so sad and alone. Like she didn't have a friend in the world. I moved beside her and sat in the swing right next to her. Once I was there she got off of hers and instead started to push me.

"Higher...higher" I begged. She laughed as I found myself swinging as high as the trees.

"Melissa this is so much fun. You need to swing with me"

"But I'm busy pushing you baby"

"I can push myself"

"Are you sure? I mean the higher you go the harder it gets. Are you ready for that?" Suddenly I was no longer a child. I was the age I am now. Still swinging as Mel pushed me along.

"Yes, I am sure. Besides I will never know if I don't try"

She smiled and winked at me. That's when I realized that maybe we were not talking about swinging anymore. Maybe we never were. She sat on the swing next to mine and together we swung.

Now we were swinging so high we could see the tops of roofs. "Mel, let's jump off!"

"Nicky, there are two types of people in this world. People who are too afraid and hesitant to jump. Afraid there is a good possibility that you could break every bone in your body. Those people will never ever take the chance. They will only watch other people do it, thinking how much fun it looked. I am one of those people" I nodded as I listened, "Then there are the people, people like you, who will jump because they know that they won't even hit the floor. They will soar"

"But, what if I jump and fall?"

"Then you fall...but you won't"

"Are you sure?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes of course I do"

"Okay then, jump!" As soon as she said the words, I leapt off of my swing and just like Mel had predicted I began to float over the houses and trees...< /i>

I was jolted awake by a stewardess who wanted to make sure that I was buckled in. I looked around. A little disoriented. We landed and I grabbed my carry on which thankfully was a lot lighter than when I left. There waiting for me at the gate was AJ. We hugged and he took my bags.

On the ride back to the house I told him all about Baylee and how adorable he was. I had so many pictures with me that it would cost me a weeks salary to get them all developed.

"Where's Sarah?"

"Home"

"Home here? Or home Los Angeles?"

"Don't worry she didn't disappear, but you'll never guess who is here too" I looked at him suspiciously.

By the time he said that, we were already home so, grabbing my bag I turned to him, "Is this going to be good or bad?"

"Depends"

With that being said I opened the door, completely surprised by what I saw.

"Ricky?"

At the mention of her name, she turned to face me. A huge smile played on her face as she approached me. I however was not overly excited to see her.

"What are you doing here?" I was cold, and seeing that she kind of backed away.

"I came to visit you and Howie. I missed the two of you"

"Right..well, I'm tired so I'm going to put my stuff in my room. See ya" I didn't even say hello to Sarah. Howie was nowhere in site. As I ran up the steps, I could feel her eyes staring at the back of my head. AJ, followed me, "Nick, what's your problem?"

"She cheated on Howie.. AJ"

"I know, but they talked"

"And that makes everything okay now?" He followed me into my room, "It's really not your decision to make"

"She is going to hurt him all over again. I mean she drove him crazy AJ" AJ sat next to me on the bed. "Howie loves her Nick"

"Why?"

"I don't know"

"Where is he anyway?"

"He went to bring dad back to his home"

"How was Easter?" I asked him as I started to empty my suitcase.

"It was good. Dad didn't even really have any outbursts. Sarah saw to that!" I laughed, "We had a good time, not as exciting as your though"

"Yeah, Bay is so cute"

"I bet, but I'm pissed that you got to be the Goddaddy. What's the deal with that?"

"Jealous?"

"Hell yes!" We laughed.

"I had a dream about Mel"

"You did?"

"Yeah, on the plane. It was weird. She was pushing me on a swing"

"Hrmm.." He said as he moved to get up.

"Hi! Welcome home!" Howie said as he entered my room. I got up and hugged him.

"Thanks"

AJ got up to leave, "We'll I'll let the two of you catch up. I'm going back down to hand with the lovely ladies"

Once AJ left, Howie turned to me "SO, Ricky said you were not real happy to see her"

"Sorry, but yeah I'm not doing cartwheels or anything"

"I know. I don't blame you. She came her the day before Easter, saying she was stupid. We worked a lot of stuff out"

"So what now? Are you guys a couple again?"

"She wants me to come to Texas for a visit"

"Are you going?"

"I don't know. I mean I think I still love her Nick but I'm scared. What if she hurts me?"

The words Mel spoke in my dream came to my mind, "Howie you will never know unless you try right?"

"But what if I fall for her all over again? I mean really fall?"

I smiled, "Then you will soar away on the wings of love" He turned to me looking a little confused. Sometimes I had that effect on people.

"Soar away on the wings of love?"

"Go to Texas"

"You mean it?"

I had a moment when I wanted to say NO! I don't mean it, you are right she will hurt you again, stay here forever. But instead I asked, "Howie if you were swinging on a swing and you were going up really high, would you jump?"

"Huh?"

"Just humor me for a minute"

"Okay...um, I suppose you shouldn't. I mean you could hurt yourself doing that. But I would probably do it anyway"

"Go to Texas. I mean it. Have a good time" Then I hugged him.

"So you were fine with him going to Texas then?" Shelby asked me, I looked over to her "Honestly..no. But it's not about me, it's about him"

"How long has he been gone?"

"For about a week already. He called and said he is having a great time"

"Are you happy about that?"

"Yes. A little scared but overall happy..yes"

"I know that is hard for you"

"It is but you know what? It's getting easier" She smiled at me, then with a glance of her watch I knew our session was over.

As I was leaving, she stopped me, "Nick. That dream you had about your sister, why do you think you had that?"

"I don't know, maybe she was giving me a message for Howie"

"Do you dream about her often?"

"No, actually I never dream about her much at all"

"Maybe it's time to talk about her...next time" She said as she walked me out of the room.

After I left Shelby's office I went to the park, and among a bunch of little kids, I found myself swinging on the swings...