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I was suddenly plagued with thoughts about my sister, everywhere I went. Kind of like she was tapping my brain and forcing me to remember her..

Popeye

I spent almost two hours in that park. Pumping my legs back and forth to make myself go higher and higher. I barely came to the park at all as a child. Sometimes, Melissa would take me on one of her long walks and we would end in that park, but as we got older, we seldom went for walks anymore.

That was something I missed greatly. I would hint to her as she sat and did her homework, how much fun it would be for the two of us to go to the park, but I was always left with a small smile followed by a go play Nicky . That's around the time she started going on walks by herself.

She would do her homework then pick up her light jacket and stroll out the door. I cried the first time she did it. Like I was no longer wanted. Not even by her. But then, sadness was replaced by a child's curiosity. So one day after she left I followed her. I tried to stay out of site, I know for a boy of about eight that was really difficult but I tried anyway. I stayed about a block and half behind her.

The first thing I had noticed about my sister was the way she walked when she thought no one was watching her. Her head down, shoulders slumped and her gait very slow. I don't know why, but even at eight, I realized then that Mel wasn't always as happy as she pretended to be.

We walked past her high school. She was a freshman at the time and I know she loved it there! It was her escape I guess. Me, I felt indifferent to the thought of going to high school. I was happy to be in third grade. Back then I wasn't yet in a rush to grow up. A few years later that would all change.

She walked past her school and just for that brief period of time, her strut became faster. Like just passing by the place gave her a new confidence. I had to almost jog to keep up with her now. She turned the corner right before the CVS. I ran to keep up, afraid I would totally lose her. I shrieked when I felt her hands on my shoulders. Her look one of scorn.

"What the heck are you doing here Nicky?" I was caught.

"Um..I..um..was following you"

"I know that. But why?"

"I don't know" She let go of my arms and gave a defeated sigh. I felt bad.

I still do.

She let the building guide her back to the ground and I followed her. Two siblings just sitting there against a CVS store. Loitering. Now, if I tried that I would be arrested, but back then no one seemed to care.

"So..you never answered my question" She said not looking at me but playing with the buckle of her right shoe.

"I know. I'm sorry Mel. I just wanted to know why you would go on a walk without me. This was our special thing we did together"

"Nick, I can't take you everywhere, I need time to myself"

"Why?" I was hurt. I couldn't possibly understand why Melissa would not want to spend every hour of every day with me.

As if realizing this, she took me in her arms and kissed the top of my head, "Aw Nicky, you really want to see?" I nodded, now more curious than ever. She smiled and promptly stood up. I was quick to follow. She grabbed my hand and continued down the street. "Sometimes Nick there are things a girl just wants to keep to herself, but if you promise not to tell.." She said as we approached the small deli on the corner of the street.

"Will you buy me some candy Mel?" I begged. Candy was my weakness. She laughed, "Nicky if you keep eating as much candy as you do, your teeth will fall out by the time your 20"

"That's a chance I am willing to take" I said flashing her my best smile. She laughed. I loved making my sister laugh.

"Okay fine but only one piece" We stood outside of the deli for a few minutes, the way my sister was nervously playing with her hands, made me think there was more to this visit than candy.

We entered, the small corner deli, named most originally The Corner Deli. I know, it must have taken the owner a year to come up with that one. She took my hand and started humming. The smell of the place was a mixture of hanging cheeses and chocolate. Two things that had no business inhabiting my nose at the same time but oddly enough they blended together to smell kind of like coffee. I tried pulling her along to the candy section when we were interrupted, "Hi Missy!" I felt my sister drop my hand, so I turned round to look at the reason.

There was this guy, tall with brown hair and muscles. I thought he kind of looked like Popeye. Minus the spinach and the big anchor tattoos.

"Hey...Rich, how are you?"

"I'm good..so, what's new Missy?" He moved next to my sister and put his hands through her hair. That did it. I made sure I got between them, "Her name is Melissa or Mel, not Missy" Both of them laughed at me.

"And who are you?" He asked, feigning interest.

"This is my kid brother Nick. Nicky honey go pick out a piece of candy" She said and actually pushed me out of the way. She pushed me out of the way!!

Dejected I went to find my piece of candy, but I made sure I listened in to their conversation.

"So, Missy..When am I gonna get to see you again?" She laughed, like it was the funniest thing she ever heard. I turned to stare at them, he was blocking my view but I was able to see my sister playing with her hair.

"How about tomorrow night? I can sneak out of my house and meet you here" He then moved even closer to Mel and then he kissed her! Yuck!!

She giggled with delight. I wanted to punch him.

"Sounds good to me" She said still twirling her hair around her fingers. I took my Hershey bar and ran over once again putting myself between Popeye and my sister, "Here Mel, I want this one" She looked annoyed, "Nick, okay why don't you go get another one?"

"But you said only one"

"I lied go pick out another one for later" Then she pushed me out of the way again.

"Boy your little brother seems like a real brat" I hear stupid muscle guy say. I turned just waiting to see Melissa smack him across the face for saying such a terrible thing

"I know, but what can you do right?" What? Did she just agree with him?< /i>

"Yeah I guess" he said moving close to Melissa once again and giving her another kiss.

I was just about to run out of there, I couldn't believe that my own sister would agree with that guy. She thought I was a brat. I was ready to take my candy and throw it in her face, disowning her. I didn't need Melissa, I didn't need anybody. Another voice made me forget all that.

"What the hell is going on?" I turned to see a skinny blonde girl standing right next to Mel and Popeye. They quickly separated from each other. I laughed, served them right calling me a brat.

"Anne..I'm just.."

"Don't Anne me asshole, what are you doing with her?" The girl shoved my sister slightly and then began poking Popeye.

"Relax baby"

"Baby?" My sister said. The sad and confused look on her face spoke volumes.

Popeye just ignored Mel and kept apologizing to the blonde one, "It's nothing baby..she was just in here buying some candy for the kid" They all looked my way.

"Then why were you kissing her?"

As the two were arguing, my sister just stood there arms crossed, looking down at the floor.

"It's nothing"

"Nothing?" My sister said in a weak voice.

"Yes, nothing" He said back to her very cold. Then he turned to Anne, "Baby, she means nothing to me, it's you I care about. Honest"

"I'm out of here Jerk" The blonde said and right before she slammed the door she said "You can have the fat bitch!"

The silence that occurred over the next two minutes was too much for me to take. Finally my sister mustered up enough voice to get out, "I thought you said you loved me"

The guy laughed, "Grow up kid. I don't love you. I am to good for you"

"But.."

"But nothing, look that woman who just walked out of here, she was the love of my life and now she is gone because of you! She is right you are just a fat bitch" He then turned away from my sister, grabbed a broom and started sweeping. Leaving Melissa crying. She ran out of the store.

Now I was mad. I walked over to Popeye and kicked him in the shin. "Ow..what the fuck!"

"You ever hurt my sister again I will kill you, got it?" I said. I then stepped on his foot and once again kicked him. I didn't stay to hear his reply, I ran like a bat out of hell.

When I got outside, Mel was nowhere in sight. I didn't worry though, I knew exactly where she would be. So I walked by myself to the park. There she was sitting on a swing and crying. I walked over to her and sat down.

"He was a jerk" I said. She ignored me. I did the only thing I could think of to make her feel better, I went behind her and tried to push.

"Nicky go away. Please, can't you leave me alone?" I stopped. My feelings were hurt. She had never asked me to leave her alone before.

"God how could I have been stupid to actually think someone could love me?" She asked. I got a sense she wasn't talking to me. She probably would have said that even if no one was there at all.

"I love you" I whispered to her. She looked over at me and grabbed my hand. "I know you do baby. I mean a different kind of love"

"He was a jerk Melissa"

"He was right though. I mean look at me, I'm a fat ugly no good.."

"No, he's wrong. He is the dumb one and he looks like Popeye" She laughed.

"I don't think I'll ever find happiness Nick. It's not meant for me" I wish I was older when she said that, I could have said so much more to her. instead of, "I kicked him in the shin for you"

She looked up at me, streaks of tears falling down her face, "You did?"

"Yup and I told him if he ever hurts you again he would have me to deal with" She laughed.

"You want a piece of candy?" I asked her as I split open my Hershey bar and handed her half.

"Did you pay for this Nicky?" Uh oh I shook my head no.

"Ah well, serves the bastard right" She then grabbed the chocolate and together we ate. On the swings.

The same set I was sitting on now. A little girl totally interrupted my day dreams, "Hey can I swing now?" I looked down at her, she was about eight. I got up and helped her on the swing, "There ya go sweetie"

I had a desire to go to The Corner Deli, just to see if the Popeye dude was still working there, but instead I turned and headed home. I bought a Hershey bar at CVS though. Just for the heck of it. I even paid for it this time..