[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Life is funny how it throws us it's little curve balls. When I think about all the roads I could have traveled versus the one I actually found myself walking, I am amazed. Amazed and relieved.

Cheers To The Class of 2003

Two days before my graduation and I still hadn't finished my speech. I had shown Mrs. Christopher a rough draft of it and she smiled. You know, one of those forced smiles. The kind that lets you know that she isn't really pleased but now it is too late to ask anybody else kind of smile.

I was a wreck. Just what I didn't want to happen before my big day. It's funny that it was such a big day for me. Funny that at the beginning of the year, I really didn't even care if I made it this far. They could have mailed my diploma to me for all I cared. My grandmother really was right. Within the course of a few season changes, my life had gone from desolate to downright happy. It was weird. But a good weird.

"Nicky honey come down for dinner" Leighanne screeched up to me from the bottom of the steps. I was excited to find out that all of my family was coming up for my graduation. I wish they had brought the baby but they left him home with his 'sane' grandparents. Kevin and Kris came without the girls as well, because of school. They all showed up yesterday and I had been so busy working on this stupid speech that I had barely found ANY time to spend with them at all.

I left my jumbled words on my desk and ran down the stairs. The sound of laughter billowed from the kitchen as everyone, including my Dad sat around the table eating fried chicken and talking like a civilized family.

"There he is, it's about time" dad balked rolling his eyes while biting into a roll.

"Sorry, it's that stupid speech. It's killing me. I don't want to sound like an idiot up there"

"Nicky you'll be fine. Just say whatever comes to your mind" Kris said. I loved how calm and cool she was about everything.

"Kris, there is no way he can do that. He needs it in front of him, I mean what if he forgets what to say?"

"Kevin chill out. The boy is smart he won't screw up"

"So far it's just a pile of fluff. There is nothing real in that speech. Nothing that resembles me at all. God all I am missing is fluffy bunnies and puppies"

"Why don't you tell people about your life?" Everyone looked over at dad. It got very quiet. Almost too quiet. I was expecting a spotlight to shine on him and have him suddenly burst into song, kind of quiet.

"They won't care about my life" I finally said after smiling at the visual of my Dad standing on the table and tap dancing.

"Make them care" He answered. "Make them care about the kind of hell you have been through" I looked down at the table, feeling uncomfortable.

"Dad it hasn't been that bad"

"Sure it has been" The table remained silent once again, "Well, I'm sure you will think of something" Brian finally said.

"If not you can always just flash them your baby blue eyes studly" AJ, the king of killing serious conversations.

After dinner I spent some time with the family. We played a game of Trivial pursuit which lasted all of twenty minutes before Dad decided we were all too stupid to play against him. Kevin and Brian went out to play basketball, Howie and AJ went for the television and I forced myself to go upstairs and write some more. As I got up there, I took a minute to look at my cap and gown, which were hanging over one of my chairs. I took the gown off the hanger and placed it on. Then put the mortar board on top of my head. I stared at myself in the mirror for a long time. I looked so different. I was so different.

The next morning I had to go to school for a half day, of which I once again had to show Mrs. Christopher what I had so far. Once again she wasn't too pleased.

"Nickolas I know you can do better than this"

"I'm sorry. I am really trying. I promise that by tomorrow I will have a perfect speech" She smiled, "I'm sure you will do just fine"

After school I went to see Shelby for the last time. Since I had been feeling better, my therapy sessions had become less frequent. Seeing her about once every other week or so. My last session, she had mentioned to me that she didn't think it was necessary for me to come anymore. It made me sad a little. I looked forward to her advice and her shoulder. But then again, because of her I learned that I had so many shoulders to lean on, including my own.

"So are you anxious about graduation?" She asked me sitting there with no pad anywhere near her. When we had first started therapy, she was always writing away busily on a notepad, probably about how nuts she thought I was.

"I'm more anxious about the speech, not so much about graduating"

"Are you happy, sad?"

"Both I guess. I mean, it's such a big turning point for me. I didn't think I would make it"

"But you did"

"Yes, I did" She smiled and nodded at me.

"Thank you so much for everything Shelby" I said at the end of my session. I was afraid of giving her a gift. Thought long and hard about it. I mean at the worst, she could put me on the creepy client who gives me gifts list. At the best she can accept it graciously, maybe even hang it on her wall. I took the box that Sarah had wrapped for me and handed it over to her.

"What is this?" She asked looking surprised even though she saw me come in with the box. It was kind of hard to miss.

"It's a little something for you. I hope it's okay that I am giving it to you"

"Of course it is" She said taking the box in her hands and shaking it. I laughed. She opened it and held it up to get a better look.

"Nickolas this is beautiful thank you so much" She said. It was my story One Lone Pony Standing in The Snow. I had it typed out in calligraphy and put into a frame for her.

"You are welcome. I would never be graduating without your help" We stood up and I wanted to hug her but I shook her hand instead.

"Nick, you helped yourself, I only listened"

She hung that story on her office wall right after I left and kept it there even after it's value tripled. She was a great lady.

That night I found myself once again trapped in my room. A slave to the speech. I thought about what my father had said. Maybe I should make it a little personal. Maybe I should let people in.

"Hey Boo, can I come in?" Brian whispered standing at my door. I wondered how long he had been standing there watching me.

"Sure come in" He came in and sat on my bed.

"So, how's it coming?"

"It's not"

"Really?"

"Yes, I have nothing" He laughed although I failed to see the humor in my situation.

"I guess I'm just gonna have to get up there and wing it"

"What's this?" He asked bending down to pick up one of my balled up drafts.

He opened it up and started to read..."You know... My grandmother, a woman I have never even met used to say that nothing hurt more then when the Seasons changed. She was talking more physically of course, like her arthritis acting up or the pains she would feel in her legs. But now as I am just about to enter into a new phase of my life, I see that maybe she meant so much more " He stopped and stared at me, "Why are you throwing that out, It's good?"

"You really think so?" I asked him. He continued to read down the page, "< i>She was talking about life. How life changes like a whirlwind from month to month and year to year. We will never know what to expect. I mean look at me, I never expected to be here talking to all of you did I?" He laughed, "Yes Boo, use this"

"Brian, they aren't going to care what my dead grandmother has to say"

"No maybe not, but they will care about what you have to say Boo" He gently pinched my cheek.

"Brian?"

"Yeah Boo?"

"Can you please stop calling me Boo?"

"Oh okay, I guess I'll call you studly like AJ" He said rolling his eyes.

"No not that either" I said in a half laugh.

"Okay then what do you want me to call you?"

"How about...Nick" He smiled and extended his hand, "You got it...Nick. And by the way, no matter what you say or don't say up there, I'll be proud of you" He gave me a hug. I love Brian.

Maybe I would use some of my earlier drafts. I emptied my garbage can on the floor and opened up my crumpled up drafts. I smiled as I put them together into a jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle that was slowly turning out to be my speech...