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Chapter Six: Been down that Road Before


"Momma? whats wrong with Auntie Ashee?" Seth asked, as he walked into the room. He had heard all of the yelling from down the hall in his room.

"She had a nightmare honey, she'll be okay." Seth crawled onto the bed and sat in Kyle's lap where he stared at Ashley in so much sadness.

"Ashee scareded?" He asked, as he has so much concern in his voice. Ashley couldn't help but smile a little bit, as she always thought Seth was one of the cutest little boys shes ever seen.

"Not anymore."

"Are you sure?" He asked worriedly.

"Very sure." Ashley reassured him. "Besides, how could I be scared when i've got a brave little boy like you in here to protect me?" Seth smiled really big, and Kyle chuckled a bit.

"Momma and Daddy fight all the bad guys away for me, I could do the same for you if I tried..."

"Awww," Nikki laughed.

"Aww thanks kiddo, I appreciate that a lot." Ashley replied, and she leaned down and kissed his cheek, and Seth beamed proudly. The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes, Nikki still with her arms wrapped around Ashley, and Kyle hadn't let go of her hand the entire time that he had taken a hold of it.

"Where is Daddy at Momma, did he go home?" Seth asked sadly.

"No baby, he just ran to the store really quick. He will be back."

"Why'd he go to the store?"

"He had to pick up a few things--we're having a small party tonight." Seth's eyes lit up in excitement.

"What kind of party?"

"A pool party." Seth grinned really big now.

"I wanna swim, do I gets to swim Momma?"

"Of course," She replied, while laughing at his excitement. Nikki thought for a couple of minutes, than she looked down at me.

"Why don't you change into some of your new clothes Ash? The ones you're wearing now are all sweaty and gross from that nightmare you had."

"I was planning on it."

"All right, than we'll leave you alone to do that." Kyle replied, while getting up from the bed. Nikki let go of me and got up too, and she took Seth from Kyle's arms and into her own hugging him tight, while kissing his forehead. The two of them left the room shutting the door behind them.

"Momma can I watch Finding Nemo?" Seth asked, as they reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Uh huh." She answered, and went and sat Seth on the couch before putting Finding Nemo in the DVD player.

"You like Ashley, dont you Seth?" Nikki asked, as she turns and looks at Seth with a small smile on her face.

"Yes, lots momma. Shes pretty!" Kyle who was busy cleaning up his Dr Pepper mess, but was still listening laughed a bit.

"That she is buddy, that she is." Seth beamed proudly, than he turned and looked at the TV to watch his favorite disney movie ever. Nikki followed her brother into the kitchen with a big smile on her face. As soon as Kyle tossed his empty dr pepper can into the trash and got out a new one he looked at Nikki, and noticed the smile. He raised his eyebrow.

"What?"

"Do YOU like Ashley, Kyle?"

"She's a really great friend." Kyle nodded.

"But you like her more than that."

"Noo..."

"Yesss. You agreed that she was pretty."

"So I can't think shes pretty without just being friends with her?"

"Oh come on Kyle," She laughed. "I know you better than that."

"So what if I do?" Kyle asked, as he blushed a little. "Shes your best friend."

"So? What does that have anything to do with it?"

"Wouldn't you feel weird about me liking your best friend that way?"

"Actually Id be pretty used to it by now."

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Ever stop to think that she might feel the same way?"

"She DOES?" Kyle asked, with a sudden hopeful tone in his voice.

"Look into her eyes when she looks at you, Kyle, than you tell me. Look into her heart--you'll be surprised at what you see there." Nikki hinted.

"Hi Ashee!" The two siblings heard Seth greet cheerfully in the other room.

"Hey there buddy," Ashley replied.

"You wanna watch Finding Nemo with me??" Seth asked, with a hopeful tone in his voice.

"Maybe in a while sweetie--I'm gonna go hang out with Nikki and Kyle for awhile."

"Okay," Seth replied, and Ashley went into the kitchen where Nikki and Kyle were at, and had heard the entire thing.

"Hey Ash, I knew that outfit would look great on you." Nikki said, as she has a big smile on her face. Ashley smiled in return. Shes wearing her lime green and black slightly baggy bondage pants and a black racerback tanktop with a lime green skull and crossbones on the top right.

"Wow Ash, you look nice." Kyle added, as he turned and looked at her.

"Thanks." She replied softly, than she went and got a dr pepper from the refridgerator. Kyle noticed how she suddenly got shy, and he smiled a little bit. He remembers Nikki saying earlier that she gets really shy and quiet around the guys she has a crush on. Nikki exchanged her brother an 'I told you so' look, before getting a dr pepper out for herself too.

"So Ash, I told Greg to make sure he didn't forget your hershey bars--I told him you might kill him if he did." Ashley laughed a little bit.

"Ah yes--his ass will be grass. I all ready dont like him enough as it is, if he forgets my hersey bars, he'll be in the dog house for sure." Kyle chuckled a bit.

"I'm just surprised you haven't insulted him all day. Thats pretty impressive."

"I promised Nikki id try to be nice."

"Ah, I see." The three of them were silent for a couple of minutes, until Kyle suddenly broke it again.

"Well its good to see you smiling again-are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, much better."

"Good to hear." Suddenly Greg and Nathan entered the kitchen with a bunch of bags in their hands.

"Hey Greg," Nikki greeted, completely ignoring Nathan.

"Hey." Greg replied, while placing the bags in his hand down on the counter. Nathan did the same thing.

"Hi Nikki," Nathan added, feeling left out that he didnt get a greeting.

"Eh." Nikki replied, while starting to go through the bags to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything. Ashley giggled a bit, as she was sitting on the counter. She found that very amusing. Kyle only smiled and shook his head.

"Greg suddenly found the pack of hersey bars from the bag--he had gotten a pack instead of just one candy bar. He handed it to Ashley.

"Here you go Ash-enough to last you a life time."

"Wow, pretty impressive Gregory--Thank you." She replied, while smiling sweetly at him, as she knew he doesn't like to be called Gregory. Greg smiled at her, than he turned his back on her and growled quietly to himself, as he continued to help Nikki. Nikki stifled a laugh.

"When is your other friend supposed to be here?" Greg asked.

"I dont know--I can't call her because shes probably on the plane--She'll call when she gets to the airport."

"Should be in a half n hour or so--She lives in Minnesota right?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah."

"Well you got off the phone with her like four hours ago--She started to get ready right away right?"

"Probably."

"Than it should be a half n hour from now or sooner." Nikki was silent for a few minutes before replying.

"Ky, do you think I should invite Matt over?"

"If you feel that you want to." Kyle shrugged. Nikki looked at me.

"What do you think Ash?"

"Well Id kind of like to meet him." Nikki thought for a couple of minutes, and nodded.

"I'll be right back--I'm gonna go over there instead of calling him." She announced.

"Kay" I replied, and she left the kitchen and started toward the front door.

"Where you goin Momma?" we suddenly heard Seth ask.

"I'll be right back sweetie--i'm just going next door to Matt's house."

"Oh okay."

"Ash," Kyle suddenly said.

"Hmm?" Ashley asked, while looking at him in a daze as shes sitting on the counter backed up against the wall hugging her legs to her chest.

"Wanna come help me pick some music out to listen to?"

"Sure!"

All right come on then." She jumped down from the counter and he took her hand in his and led her out of the kitchen. Greg and Nathan exchanged looks, and waited till the door closed behind Kyle and Ashley before they started their teasing.

"Someone is falling hard," Nathan laughed.

"Yeah, but I dont blame him. She makes him smile like theres no tomorrow." Nathan nodded his agreement.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Kyle kept a hold of Ashley's hand as they walked into the living room where Seth is still sitting there watching his movie.

"Now will you watch Finding Nemo wid me Ashee?" Seth asked hopefully.

"Aww, I know I promised you I would, but I'm hanging out with Kyle right now okay? I promise I will watch the movie with you later--or maybe i'll play a game with you in the pool later. Is that okay?" Seth smiled.

"Okay." he agreed. Kyle lead Ashley up the stairs now.

"You're really good with him--he likes you a lot you know." Kyle told Ashley, as he looks down at her and smiles.

"Yeah I know," Ashley answered, while laughing a bit. "I have two little brothers back at home--one of them is just a year older than he is, and the other is the exact same age. I loved and adored them so much. I haven't seen them in over a year though..." Ashley explained sadly.

"How come?" Kyle asked curiously, as he led her into his room and got out his CDs.

"Its a very long and depressing story..." Ashley answered, as she has a sad tone in her voice. Kyle went and sat on his bed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I have time if you want to talk about it."

"You would sit here and listen to me talk about my problems?" Ashley asked, as she couldnt help but smile a little bit.

"Thats what friends are for, right? To be here when you need someone to lean on?" Ashley shrugged.

"I guess."

"Come here," He replied, while motioning for her to sit next to him. She took the offer and sat next to him on the bed. He took her hand in his like he had done earlier when she was crying, and he gently rubbed his finger over it as he looks into her light brown eyes to find so much pain and heartache in them.

"What happened with you and your father? it seems like it really hurt you...."

"It does....considering he didnt want anything to do with me." Ashley answered, as a single tear rolled down her cheek. Kyle didnt reply he only sat there looking at her with so much concern in his eyes.

"I used to love my dad so much. I used to want to ALWAYS spend time with him when I was little. I would call him up on the phone and ask him if we could go see a movie, or go to the park, or to the discovery zone, which was an in door amusement park pretty much. We would do all sorts of things together. But then I got a little older and I got tired of being passed back and fourth like a fucking yo-yo. I wanted both of my parents at the sametime, so when I was at my dads everything would be fine one minute, than the next I would start screaming and crying for my mom. He wouldn't let me call her though, because he didnt want her to come pick me up--it was HIS weekend. He also didnt want to see her either. As I got older I stopped wanting to go over there all together. He would call me and say 'Ashley I'm coming to pick you up, its my weekend. I want you to be ready." and I would say "Um, dad I dont want to come over this weekend.' Back then I was afraid to say no to him. He would say to me 'Ashley its my weekend I'm coming to get you.' So I said 'Fine' and hung up, but then I told my mom that I didnt want to go but hes making me. When he got to my house I remember standing out in the parking lot for a half n hour as my parents faught over me. Eventually my dad would win and I would have to go with him. I hated going with him, because he forced me to. He soon re-married to this evil bitch and he started spending less time with me. I would sit on his couch and watch TV all day long and would be bored. He started to sence I was bored, so he talked me into playing soccer. I wasn't too thrilled about it but I figured Id do it anyway so Id have something to do with him. the first year I played soccer he was my assistant coach and the second time he was the real coach. that ended up being a nightmare, because all I was ever tyring to do is impress him it seemed like. I was really bad at soccer to begin with and didn't even want to play but I did it to make him happy for me. But it seemed like he was never happy for me. I was always sitting on the bench. When I did finally get to play I was standing near a goal--little did I know I was standing near the other teams goal. All I wanted to do was score a goal so I could for once make the team happy, and for once make my dad proud of me, so I kicked the ball into the wrong goal. The entire team was laughing at me, including my dad. I was so pissed that I just felt like kicking the ball at his head. After that I was tired of wasting my time on trying to impress him, and I was tired of playing soccer when I was totally bad at it, so I quit. I was also completely scarred for life after that and refused to play sports-even in PE at school I refused. I was always afraid of being laughed at. After I quit soccer I also started to rebel on going over to his house. He always seemd to manage to get his way though, and I grew to hate him so much. Soon he stopped calling me to come over as much, only on birthdays and holidays, or family events. Now that I'm 18 I wasnt afraid to say no to him anymore. When he called me a week before thanks giving he said 'why dont you ask your mom what time you're having dinner over there on thanks giving--i'm going to pick you up and take you to Grandmas.' I told him "First of all, my mom isn't here. Second of all, I dont want to spend thanks giving iwth you this year. ' and he says 'Oh you don't?" and sounded pissed and I said 'Nope.' 'So you just want us to count you out this thanks giving?' and my reply was 'Isn't that what you've been doing this entire fucking year??' and hung up on him. Every holiday after that I refused to answer the phone, and he refused to pay child support after that. I haven't spoken to him since thanks giving, and he refuses to pay child support and even said he didnt want anything to do with me. I was so upset when I found this out that I went into a deep depression. I locked myself in my room for two weeks and cried. I refused to come out." Ashley explained the entire story the best that she could remember it.

"I can relate to you on that kind of....my dad never wanted anything to do with me either, unless it was because I had done something wrong...he was abusive, and was always beating on me and Nikki...me the most--I always managed to get it WAY worse than her..." Kyle replied, as tears formed in his eyes at his own problem. Ashley took both of his hands in hers and scooted closer to him.

"I know...Nikki told me." Ashley replied, as she turns his hands over looking at the cuts on his wrists when he had tried to kill himself--Remembering Nikki had told her about her one time walking in on him when he was about to kill himself, because of the pain and horror he had gone through with his father. Ashley gently rubbed her fingers over the cuts, as she looks into his eyes.

"I have them too... i've been down that road." She informed him, while showing him hers. "My step father and Brandi yelling and screaming at me, my mom never paying attention to me or spending time with me, my dad, my low self esteem....the anger I had from all of that....I took it all out on myself." Kyle looked into her teary light brown eyes, as he tucks a strand of her dark red hair back behind her ear.

"Do you still cut? Do you still do this to yourself?" He asked gently.

"No...but I often come REALLY close to doing it....when I am really upset and hurt about something, the razor it just starts calling for me....and I fight against it SO hard. I've gotten a lot stronger, but its still REALLY hard..."

"Don't do it. Stay strong okay? Nikki and I are here, you dont ever have to be hurt or upset again." He reassured me. "Its not worth it. You dont deserve this. If you wont stop for yourself, do it for me...please?"

"I promise i'll try..." Kyle looked into her eyes for a few minutes, as he gently caresses her cheek with his finger, than he pulled her in for a hug. The two of them hugged for a few minutes, than when they pulled away they sat in silence for awhile, until he suddenly broke it.

"Anyway...we should probably get back down there before they start sending search parties." He said with a small smile on his face, and Ashley giggled a bit. "Yes, because this house is just SO big--one of us are just able to get lost REAL easily." He chuckled a bit, while grabbing his CD case.

"Well, you just never know." He then opened up his Cd case and began to look through it.

"What CD should we listen to?" He asked. Ashley began to look through the CDs too.

"How about Hoobastank?" She asked, while looking up at him.

"Sounds good to me." He agreed, and grabbed the CD. He put the rest away, than he got up and took her hand in his and he pulled her up from the bed. Keeping a hold of her hand he lead her back downstairs to let everyone know they're still alive.